|Reviews for Nil Desperandum|
| ianxfalcon chapter 7 . 4/1/2012
*sighs* Okay, I'm sorry. My last review was pretty unprofessional. Not that I don't agree with what I wrote, but still... I don't think you'll read this anyway, but I feel the need to mention that. I was very angry. OOC-ness does that to me, and therein lies the problem with this story.
If you write fanfiction, and if you choose to use pre-existing, CANON characters, you have to keep them to their canon characterization. Otherwise, it's not fanfiction; then eiter make it an original story, or have original characters. See, when your plot, as much as there is, demands that you change the characters OOC, then your plot sucks. It's as simple as that. It doesn't matter if it's fanfiction or original fiction, you have to keep to the established personality of your characters, or else it falls apart. And since you don't own these characters, you cannot do whatever you feel like just to make them fit your story.
And another tip: if you're going to write a serialized story, make sure you've finished the thing before uploading it. Otherwise it ends like this, with the story hanging loose. It's not particulary fair against those who, for whatever reason, actually likes it.
Plus, you need to work on your own characters as well. You do realize that Perdita's whininess doesn't make her particulary likeable? She does nothing but snottishly compare Hogwarts to Beauxbatons, and let's not even begin with how she treats her friends. It's pretty disrespectful of her to spend her time pining away at some people she has absolutely no reason to wanting to be friends with at all, while her real friends are apparently forgotten, you know, the ones who actually speak to her and treat her with kindness and respect. That, for the record, I don't think she deserves. Why does it matter to her what Harry, Ron and Hermione think about her? She doesn't even know them. And it's not like they're actually bullying her or anything, they just ignore her, which wouldn't even be a problem if she didn't make it a problem. Fail.
I know you were trying to give her a reason to wanting to help Draco take them down, but like I said before, the plot doesn't work because it doesn't fit with canon.
| ianxfalcon chapter 8 . 11/14/2011
Wow. After finishing this whole story, there is just one thing to say. This is so BAD. It's so bad it's almost painful. I would have given you a pass, I really would, but I can't, because this rightly pisses me off. WHY do you write fanfiction? WHY do you write at all? Please, tell me, because I don't understand.
You can't keep the characterization straight, and what's worse, you don't even bother to try. You take the characters and completely butcher them. You fucking destroy them! And if there are characters you don't like, then you just tell us, right there in the text, why they suck. Ron and Harry are completely out of character. There is no way they would ever act like this! Why do you make them act like this? WHY do you write fanfiction? You obviously don't give a fuck about anything JKR wrote.
I'm starting to think you haven't even read the books. You might just have looked at the words, but you can't have read them since you just DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM. This can hardly be called fanfiction! There is nothing about it that even reminds us of the HP universe. And you think this is unique? There is NOTHING unique about it! Everything you've written so far in this story has been done before. And I mean EVERYTHING. You want me to give you a list? I would.
There are bad fanfic writers. But at least most of them try. You don't even try. You just write whatever you feel like, right? Never mind what the stories you claim to love are really like. You are bad at grammars, you suck at dialogue tags, you can't keep your own goddamn timeline straight. To put it shortly, you are not a good writer, and considering that you can't take criticism, you never will be. The day you left FFnet was a day of rejoice.
Does it sound harsch? I'm sorry. But I won't take back a word. I hope you never put your foot in the Harry Potter fandom again. I can't even muster the will to mention any of the few things that were good in this - it's buried so deep down and I can't get away from the rage this story causes me. Just stay away, okay? Just stay away from Harry Potter and everything connected to it!
| Type chapter 8 . 1/1/2005
No! ITs been almost a year since this has been updated... And I came back to look for your Ariana Series.. only to find it GONE. I was wondering if you could e-mail it to me or something... it was one of my all time favorite fics. Please please pretty please with sugar on top e-mail it to me... Please...
| blackmage718 chapter 8 . 6/14/2004
Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while! Please continue this! I love it. :)
| Montana Magic chapter 1 . 5/8/2004
Okay, now that was downright heartwrenching. And beyond great.
For what it's worth, I'd love to see the Ariana series again. I don't think I ever got to finish reading them.
| mousie k. bunnie chapter 8 . 4/2/2004
i like harry and ginny's argumant a lot!
why doesn't harry just tell her that, though? i know it would be painful to be with her, but he owes it to her. he's honorable enough in the books that i think that he would definately explain things to her. i like his explanation though!
also, where are the rest of your ariana stories? did you post them somewhere else?
| DasMervin chapter 8 . 3/5/2004
*scratches head* Um...aren't Harry, Ron, and Hermione a little out of character? Judging from the way they act in canon, I really don't think they would do that to your OC, no matter who she is. Kinda seems like you're heaping some unecessary angst on your character, to try and make us all feel sorry for her. You're kinda abusing the canon characters, don't you think?
Get a beta reader, please. You need one.
I hate to burst your bubble, but this needs to be said-the "Long Lost Relative of Peter Pettigrew" has been used by fanfiction authors-a lot. You aren't really unique in using it. But, in light of THIS information, I feel I should inform you that it is very hard to make this angle word. It should only be attempted by experienced and well-rounded authors.
However, for an attempt at it, I can say this-you fic CAN be salvaged.
I advise you to take it down and COMPLETELY revamp your character and the canon characters, then repost it. Remember-this fic can be saved! It is not lost to the bowels of badfic yet. I really am interested in saving this fic, what with the horror you invented named Tabitha and her spawn, Ariana. I want to help. I do.
| Normal Undefined chapter 8 . 1/19/2004
Harry: Owie! what was that for?
Vereniel: For treating Perdita that way! You are even thicker than Ron sometimes!
Vereniel: ye-OMG we're turning into the Marauders! But anyways, great job.
Harry: Except for the fact that you made her have an urge to punch me and break my nose.
Vereniel: I broke your nose? Really?
Vereniel: YES! I BROKE HARRY POTTER'S NOSE! YIPPE! You're the only author ever to give me that urge! Go you!
| Paige chapter 8 . 1/18/2004
AH! YOU DIDN'T TELL US WHAT THE FORK HAPPENED TO SIRIUS AND REMUS, YOU FOOL! I LIKE THE FACT THAT DRACO IS HYSTERICAL IN THIS FIC, BUT STILL! IF YOU KILL REMUS THEN...THEN...THEN...THEN...I WILL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOUR REAL NAME IS... EUPHEGINIA!
*gasps are heard across the review room*
That's right. Fear me...
| fuck off already chapter 8 . 1/18/2004
Aww, I hope Harry comes around... I don't mind Ron being a jerk, but I hate when Harry does it.
| Author By Night chapter 8 . 1/17/2004
*Shakes head* Draco, can't you live with being nice? Hehe, well, either way, I really like this. Sorry to hear about LWYH, but you already know that. :( I really like where this is going-you have Draco nice, but not in a fluffy way, and he's not announcing his love for Muggles everywhere, or dressing up in leather. And even if you do write him like that (not that I'd let you), I'm sure it'd be fine.
| Riye Link Reue chapter 1 . 1/17/2004
nice story and idea
| greeneyedredhead chapter 8 . 1/17/2004
AW! Ginny/Harry and Draco/Dita moments are so cute! Right now, I feel like a lovesick puppy(which was not entirely caused by your story). No more Listen With Your Heart? Oh well. Just keep writing this one then!
| susan bunnie russ chapter 7 . 11/28/2003
PLEASE don't kill Remus.
| susan bunnie russ chapter 7 . 11/27/2003
I love it! Hurry up and write more. I've just started reading all of your fics, and I think this one is going to be one of the best, as long as you dump Malfoy soon enough. I'd like to see him die of a broken heart *evil laugh*