|Reviews for Children Of A Kingdom Built On Blood|
| LivingDimension chapter 5 . 7/20
Truly a wonderful story idea
I especially liked the overpoweredness! (Is that a word?), the race change idea and your OC Ruby Potter ;)
Because it seems logical that they would get more children if they survived but again you mentioned her being Harrys twin...
Overlord is an interesting setting for your story I love it!
Only critic I have is how the characters of Overlord came to this world exactly and since when they were there (Father Blood being already established some 500 years ago)
Some other inconsistencies like sometimes the MCs name being Lazarus sometimes Lucifer etc but this stuff is good and it begins with things like this to be an author for being thirteen your writing is awesome I wish you the best thumbs up.
| Nova15 chapter 1 . 3/7
Not gonna lie, it was quite bad once I thought about it.
The talk with the Wesleys is feels so damm unnatural and like a massive exposition section. Ainz and and “Ash” are both so extremely overpowered that it’s not even fun. You know what made Ainz so fun in the source material? He felt like an actual person, he was a aware of how he wasn’t as capable as everyone thought him to be, but he tried. Here however, here he is absolutely everything that everyone thinks him to be, and not only the good things about him. In here he feels like an actual monster with no redeeming qualities whom would kill without reason, and all of his humanity is gone, and because of that he becomes the most un-likeable of all the cast.
I think you were aware of this and that’s why you did what you did what you did to Dumbledore and the Potters. They are all just SO Out Of Character, and I think I know why that is. YOU were aware of how damm awful Ainz was so you needed to create other monsters, and for some reason you thought those monster should be the potters. Which btw you never you never even explained why they’re alive cause alive potters means no “Ash” as the chosen one. Unless you were going for Neville being the chosen one.
But if you wanted monsters and chosen one “Ash” then why not just do what happened in the source material and kill the parents and send the siblings to the Dursleys?
The inhabitants of Nazarick are just about what I expected but the fact that Ainz is now as much of a monster as them basically removes what little “Moral Compass” they had, and now they’re just monster without control that aren’t destroying the world simply cause.
Dumbledore was also made very OOC for reasons beyond my understanding.
I think that’s all I had to say
| AvidReader2425 chapter 1 . 11/14/2020
Really great first chapter, thanks
| Darkdragoon666 chapter 5 . 6/28/2020
As someone who loves this king of story telling I loved this it started off confusing for me as I haven’t read the manga yet and Ains is all I know currently from the anime standpoint it got tuff to read but please post a update if some one adopted this nice starting book thank you for your time and effort on this book
Thank you - Darkdragoon66
| Bb34 chapter 3 . 6/26/2020
First fic I've read were the second twin is hated and Ruby why would they adopt you if they hate humans?
| kidray98624 chapter 5 . 5/15/2020
awww its a great story sucks its stopped but I hope som1 picks it up and continues it
| kidray98624 chapter 4 . 5/15/2020
lol I hope percy joins them as well that would be pretty cool
| kidray98624 chapter 3 . 5/15/2020
hope ruby stays with ash become similar to him get her away from those monsters I mean seriously who gives a damn if she's a near-squib
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/8/2020
This is just a heap of trash considering how you went about your story. Your using crutches far too often. Do remember this in the future otherwise no sane person will read your story if we consider how your going about things.
| thev chapter 1 . 5/4/2020
Sigh, you went full retard with the LVL 155 shit and Ash's (why this name?) overpowerdness. I'll still give it a chance, but don't expect much.
| Joel chapter 5 . 4/2/2020
It was a good story. I like the very much. I'm saddened to hear that it's up for adoption
| Crowley the Bizarre chapter 5 . 4/2/2020
I think you are making a mistake in giving up something like this. Yes there are a few issues but you are the author so you can slap a no lemon label on your story. Hinting at things would work but it is your call. Also ignore those that trash your work look for those that give you some pointers.
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/13/2020
The story is awful. It was written by a narcissist to be a self insert and allow him to live out what he actually thinks. It makes sense when you think about how the “heroes” of this story act and think. It is exactly how a narcissist thinks. It’s scary but this is how these people view the world. It why when these people get real power irl some serious evil stuff happens.
If you like reading stories about evil people doing evil things and believing they are in the right. Read this story. If you don’t like that don’t read it.
| Guest chapter 3 . 3/13/2020
I like how Lazarus insults humans for treating people who are different from them badly. How the potters should treat everyone in the tomb with respect. While all the natives of the tomb despise the potters for being humans and humans are brutally tortured and eaten in the tomb.
The hypocrisy of this statement is hilarious. Though I doubt the author sees that. Im pretty sure the author is incapable of seeing his own hypocrisy.
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/13/2020
Misanthropic people are the most vile disgusting people humanity has ever produced. They despise themselves on a deep level and have no feelings of empathy or sympathy towards others. They believe that only they and their needs matter. That no other living organism has any rights or value outside of what the misanthrope person decides. They only derive pleasure out of hurting and destroying other humans and animals. They are evil. Every serial killer that has ever existed has been a narcissistic misanthropic person. The world would be a great place if these individuals didn’t exist. Their existence is literally a detriment to any person they come in contact with.
Why would you turn your protagonist into one? I don’t get that. There are no redeeming qualities in these types of characters. They are deranged lunatics. Which is why they make the greatest villains. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that this isn’t some weird self insert. But come on man. You can’t make a misanthrope character likable. It’s impossible.