I stumbled upon this fic quite by accident. I hardly ever read fanfic anymore. I read the whole story in two days. The absurdist humor mixed with horribly dark subject matter reminded me of Catch 22. I cannot compliment enough the clever puns, and the quality of the writing. I was also deeply invested in all six kids and wanted them to be ok! Thank you for sharing this wild ride

i_guess dot jpeg

I know I'm suuuper late to the punch here, but:

Chili's command: "Mahuika! Vape and let the pickle feel the feeling!"

Chili's explanation: "Have you never gotten excited about marbles before?"

I am obsessed.

(Also, Mahuika is (mentally, at least) over age 18 and now too old to be eligible for the contest. Wonder if that'll affect anything)

SO funny to realize that this small Scientology child is the adoptive great-granddaughter of the Trunchbull

Literally this is the best thing I have ever read on this frickin' website. Holy carp. I love it. Liveblogging furiously to my friend who sent me this

This is brilliant.

checked this out on a whim after seeing it recommended elsewhere, ended up staying up two hours past my bedtime binge reading the whole thing. loved this from start to finish, absolutely outrageous which i mean as the highest possible compliment. i think i'm going to be chewing on this in my brain for at least the next few days and turning it over and thinking about everything it has to say as a story about stories, but most of all i loved how it GRIPPED me. this is the kind of piece fanfiction was made for, this is the kind of gem i'm hoping to find every time i click on a new fic. you did it, i felt the feeling. thank you for writing!

I'm so sorry, in one of my previous reviews I meant to say LACKED a purpose.

I forced myself to stop reading at End of Bar I and save the rest for today, you know. Did that actually help me not stay up ridiculously late? No. But did I get to feel grateful for my sheltered upbringing helping me delay gratification? Yes.

I am a Chili absolution arc defender. I think that nearly dying but being helped by his new friends would foster a little gratitude and he was desperately lonely. Already shown to an extent by his reaction when Grandpa actually died.

You know, an important context for the "hates juice" line is that I remember people saying they hoped that Ronald Dahl had misspoken and said "I hate juice". Really speaks to the spirit of preserving whimsy.

Insert what everyone else said about how this is the best sorry ever and changed my life. I do think that stuff is a little overdone. But this has serious artistic and rhetorical merit. You should publish it when Dahl's works go into public domain.

WONKALAND STANDARD TIME

Just in case anyone somehow still thought this story packed a rhetorical purpose.

Tide frowned and nodded.

I love you.

God bless the JUROR thing. He's right

Redditors: clearly glass elevator isn't canon
This chapter: witches are canon

This is really taking me back to my huge dahl phase when I was a kid. I should get switch bitch from the library. Thank you

Now you understand the principle of "why the hell did I read all that shit". This is how I feel about the magic familiar banter on Umineko too. The air-zamboni killed me.