You need to slow the pacing

uh, it's a bit weird that younger!amy seems like the more experienced cape of the two. maybe you should re-write that part and make her as enthusiastic as she appeared, but let the more experienced older!amy with a medical degree be the one to refine the younger one's ideas.

Very good! I look forward to more in the future, should you ever choose to continue it!

love to see more
BB

Okay, gotta admit the liquid breathing gill thing is a really neat application of power, also Vicky's version of diving is neat.

That being said, Jade seems to be doing pretty well here. I suppose living through the end of the world once puts everything else into perspective.

One thing worth noting I believe is how Jade is handling the big secrets: I think this is the logical reaction. There's not a huge time pressure to solve things right now, and with Jade just getting her feet (and shook up by Schneider's death) basically saying "Problem for other people to deal with." Is totally reasonable and even healthy as a response.

It's equally good to see Jade concerned about the ethical issues of trying to Khepri up-gun someone's power, considering it's hyper risky human experimentation and she knows the people in charge are only better than Josef Mengele in that they do actual research. (okay and their cause is at least not pitch black evil.)

Plus I admit I love how Jade is slowly making a lovely little magical tree house to live in. It's a cute little touch that makes sense as a refuge.

This story is very interesting I would love to continue reading

Fun story. Highly enjoyable. I hope you continue it. Thanks for posting.

The underwater scene was really neat!

Glad this got to where they clear the air about time travel, it can sort of work as an ending point.

Great chapter, I can't wait to see more.

Interesting start

I know peggy-sues are hard to continue in an interesting way after you clear the air about the time travel stuff, but I wanna encourage you to keep writing it. Amy and Amelia as a duo sound like fun and I'm sure theres plenty of drama and conflict to be had on a local level pre-Scion. Like, the Riley reveal and redemption for instance. Or like David reacting badly to knowledge about the Endbringer team-up (not his death since Amelia might not know) and needing to be emergency mastered by Amelia or Amy, or any number of other things.

semi-sapient - semi-sentient

Means different things, and sentient fits a lot better.

A big disappointment having her join Faultline. It's out of necessity, so no different than joining the Protectorate, except that working with mercenaries is probably less safe.

Would prefer reading about her being independent. Your characterisation of Amy is kinda pathetic. After years as a cape, she should be far more savvy and thick-skinned.

She honestly doesn't read like an older Amy at all, almost the opposite.

It strains SoD that she would be so stupid as to not even ask who Schneider would call before he did so.

It also feels like a big defeat to join Faultline, it kinda feels like this was exactly what Faultline was waiting for. That Amy would get in trouble so Faultline ould negotiate for more, such as having her join outright.

who's fault - whose fault

A proofreader wouldn't be a bad idea.