so far so good percy and artemis are warming up to each-other and not addicted to sex like this one pertemis one i read it was SO desterbing that i cried and stoped reading in the middle of the whole the because the were haveing so much sex and cumming each other and worst of all ARTEMIS SUCKED PERCYS COCK AND SWALLOWED RIGHT AFTERhttps -PROOF READ WHOLE THING! s/13815428/1/The-Moon-s-Lover

I was enjoying this story a lot, but Aphrodite disappointed me a lot

This is really good!

Alternate title: Percy gets gaslit by himself

I accidently clicked the post review, so I'll continue here.
If all that was what you really wanted to do with this fic, then you could have chosen some other characters to get married instead of Artemis. Like a god Annabeth, or even Athena since she has children regularly. Why add Pertemis when there's no question over loyalty and virginity?

I understand the need for content and drama, but with Pertemis, Artemis' virginity, Diana and Perses, the whole arranged marriage, even Selena, you had enough to use without sacrificing the characters that much. The only thing this approach gives is quick lemons which otherwise would require a long time to add. If that's the only reason you took these approaches then just don't write Pertemis at all. It's supposed to be a slow paced pairing if you want to do it right.

I don't mean to come off as some entitled jerk but honestly, this is a huge disappointment.

I'm only leaving this because I honesty think you could have done better with this story. The writing was pretty good, much better than any other arranged marriage fic I've read, and your initial premise was very good. I'm not trying to sound demanding (sometimes I can't help it), but this story has been completely wrecked because of certain "creative choices".

For starters, I'd say Percy sleeping around since 13 is a bit difficult to digest. It wouldn't be weird if Percy was having sex for some time, but you'd expect someone like him to have at least enough control to do it with people he actually likes. Sleeping around without any commitments would make him unlikeable to Artemis, and as such, reduces the chances of the two being friends at all. It also puts a huge question mark on his ability to stay loyal.

Aphrodite in general is way too out of place. Her entire role in the story is to "spice up" things. She doesn't fit at all and is completely OOC. I mean, she "truly loves" Percy? Aphrodite? Really? And to top it off she tries to sleep with his virgin bride-to-be in a matter of days. So much for being truly in love. It would have been better if she's just being herself instead of all these bs twists and turns.

The most affected character here is Artemis though. She goes from being eternally chaste to the point of asking her husband to give up sex - to being horny for someone she isn't getting married to. And her Roman side, Diana, goes from hating her fiance to getting pregnant for no reason at all before they are even married. No development, no suppressed feelings or lust. They just do it in the most unnatural way possible.
Nothing about either character feels right, unless you want to present her as some pathetic whore, which obviously was not the intention in the beginning.

I believe the entire reason this story has no coherence is the decision to make this a poly/open marriage, which you apparently picked up from a reviewer. Neither Percy nor Artemis seem like people that would be okay with such a thing. Both characters, in this very fic, seem to value stuff like chastity and loyalty. Polyamorous relationships do not fit well at all here. In fact Aphrodite is the sort of person that neither of the two would even like, being a serial cheater while married to one of Percy's friends.

Another big problem is that story has way too much casual sex for a Pertemis story. None of the characters involved seem to have an issue with meaningless sex, even cheating. The entire arranged marriage has been reduced to nothing but a joke since no one seems to care that Percy and Artemis (and Diana and Perses) are due to be married. Every party involved is having sex like it doesn't even matter. Then what's all the fuss about?
If this is all you really wanted to do then it would have been better

Bro, I'm mad as hell. You left this story on a big ass cliffhanger. You should have had it where Arty and Aph tell Percy what happened on there own, and they find a way to make it work. That seems like what you were planning eventually, but you just abandoned the story. Cmon man.

oh and just fucking get rid of aphrodite from the pairing she a hoe and will always be one, who tf forgets to go to there kids check up amd fucks dudes or shops instead? shes just fucking up the flow of your petermis, get rid of her

the god of loyalty forgiving betrayal is an oxymoron and makes no goddamn sense, plus aphrodite/venus is still sleeping around like a hoe, I'd rec percy begone thotting them both, continue Perses/Diana relationship and give Percy another chick for the juicy plot, maybe reconciliation ALOT later down the line cuz even if the god of loyalty was capable of forgiveness after being betrayed (which again, makes no goddamn sense) it sure as fucking fuck wouldn't take a few goddamn weeks lol, have percy get together with another chick and be happy for a while, Artemis gets her just dues, then if you really wanna keep em together kill the chick he gets w off and then develop smth again w Artemis earning Percys forgiveness or alternatively have Percy so pissed off that he cheats on HER. That'll make juicy drama as well, and you can take it from there cuz the loyalty is essentially broken so he shouldn't get fucked over from his domain either. The throwing the letter away scene is dumb af and just shows you kickin the can down the road, a better thing to do would end the chap on Percy reading the letter

After reading everything because I didn't want to judge right away knowing you maybe resolved the conflict, I'm still disappointed further. By all means this story is amazing and I'm not hating on your work I'm just confused about your creative decisions. Why not continue that cinflict? If Percy wasn't going to find out anyway, what was the point of Perses and Diana finding out? Why have them worry so much? Why go to the lengths to explain Percy's domain of Loyalty only to just ignore the letter all together?

Another thing. I this is just my opinion I don't mean to sound offensive, if I do you can call me out on it, but I feel like the whole Artemis and Aphrodite sleeping together and having it be a whole problem now spiraling out of control was done for merely shock value. Percy felt VERY OOC in that moment when he was angry at Aph but I guess you could argue this Percy is like that normally so maybe that argument doesn't stand. It still goes into the fact this whole plotline just wasn't needed. Artemis said it herself, she's only been getting to know Aph for a few weeks, to comfort her is one thing, but to go as far as to sleep with her WHILE SHE KNOWS SHE'S ENGAGED TO PERCY? What was the point in that?

The one thing that urks me alltogether is you arent continuing that conflict. While not my favorite plotline in this story it has some value. I would love to see Percy find out and eventually be hurt by Artemis' actions because we both know he will be at some point as much as he tries to hide it. He's the kind of guy to do that. Artemis and Aph regret what they did, and feel horrible for it considering Arty is getting married and has a child on the way with her Roman counterpart.

I'm saying all this in the hopes that this will be continued one day. If I sound salty I deeply apologized it's just you dont find Artemis and Percy stories this good everyday and see it finished to the end. Those are just my two cents I hope you at least think about. I hope the author is doing alright and who knows this may never get continued, but you can hope right?

...

I personally really like the story concept you have, and would really like to see how Percy, Artemis and Aphrodite work with their relationship to all be happy. Please continue your story, as with all of your stories, it's very good.

This story is just so *close* to being cute. I missed the poll but I'd just edit out the Aph parts. Family Percy and Artemis is too cute.

To be clear, I’m against the whole Artemis/Aphrodite thing. I think what people raise about Percy being the god of loyalty and the issues with forgiveness after a willing affair that had at least two encounters is big. He wouldn’t forgive it’s be impossible for him to. If nothing else I hate(sorry to use such a strong word) the cheating because I look up to Percy and Artemis and admire them. To see this deceit in one of them kills me

Nooo. I’m so sad this story is on hiatus. I really wanted to find out how the whole Aphrodite Artemis thing worked out. I’ve got a hole in my heart for Percy