Reviews for Out of the Abyss
slvrbird5 chapter 38 . 2/23
This is such a great chapter for Jhelnae! I love how the godess helps Jhelnael see
she's not a bad person because of the warlock pact she made to save herself.
slvrbird5 chapter 4 . 2/4
I love your description of Aleina's radiant soul aasimar power manafesting.
kingpariah chapter 60 . 8/28/2023
A nice little cooldown chapter after an interesting, intense fight.

A hag got away. Future surprise revenge attack!

Plans for waterdeep have been made.

Ront! Poor guy. Had to be seen 1st by the huggers.

I remember reeading this story as it was posted n then i stopped. It was a great read then, n its a great read now.

Idk about the revisions post-ch 25 or so, what everything before that got a good polish in places.

When i saw you had posted a second story, i legit thought this was the , but its actually the halfway point. O_O xD hopefully they told people about the demon lord danger at least.

And now, to waterdeep!
kingpariah chapter 44 . 8/21/2023
Oh noy. Looks like u might get the love trianlgle after all. XD

The grouops discuss the undead army, n how devious of them, looking for the undredark emtrance.

I understand what u mean about talking heads. What i try to do is describe some of the minor things people do w/o knowing. Someone thats stsnding for a long time might shuffle their feet. Maybe the one talking glances around once in a while.

It doesnt have to be the focus charactrr either. Maybe its aleina, glaring at khuls ex for volunteering him without asking first. Maybe its fargas taking a drink every time the word Undead is mentioned.

What do people do during speeches like this, or just in general like waiting in line? We always twitch or shuffle even when were relaxed n stuff.

Focus charscter noticing their surroundigns a bit more might also work. Like khul seeing how the shadows make evryone look different, or stuff like that.
kingpariah chapter 37 . 8/20/2023
Damg! Only 5th level! They should be 7rh if i recall module right. XD

One thing that got me last chapter. What subclass is khul, aleina, sky, and jearnne? I know its paladin, sorcerer, rogue n watlock. I mightve mixed up the girls though. I know one of the girls has a blade, but i think thats ffrom pact of blade specialty.

Another thing the encounter buolder might not take into account is ront n fargas. True, fargas didnt do much, but it still adds tot the formula.

And the party escapes! Good thing they never got on that 1 drow's bad side.

And another thing bout encounter building/cr numbers, they dont often take PCs equipment into account.

Cr building *does* take enemy equipment n spells into account though. If an enemy best spell is fireball, n u change it for something not as damaging? Cr is likely lower now. New spell does more damage? Cr might b higher.

Cr math is hard. Especially when coverting from older editions. XD even worse when what u want to convert doesnt *have* CR n the stat blocks r clunky as hell. XD
kingpariah chapter 27 . 8/13/2023
If the encounter w medusa n statues is as u described in end notes, then this was was better.

'Leave room no danger from statues' thats stupid. And medusa just chilling in her throne room when she knows/suspects visitors? Stupid.

The way u did it was great, plus it gives medusa some personailty n presence.

That cliffhanger though! Pure evil!
kingpariah chapter 22 . 8/10/2023
The group meets a mind flayer n discuss nightmares that described each demon lord. I love it! Danger everwhrre!

Poor jhelnae. No grazzt dream for you!

Suoer late, but glad to hear youre well. Fell off FF since i hit my writers block, and my dnd hiatus reminded me i never finished ur story. And i was front seat to its debut before the revision too.

But im here now, finishing the story. Cuz im most definitely not over my block, not at all (sad chuckles)

Next up, blingdenstone!
kingpariah chapter 21 . 8/9/2023
Re reading the story. Its as great as i remember, maybe better with the revisions. (Grin)

My group is on hiatus so im dealing with my withdrawal by reading your stories. (Laughs)

So now the group heads to the Garden and it goes as bad as expected. That silence spell was clutch though. And poor sarith. D:

Oh boy. The group saw the lady of spores. Think thats the 2nd demon lord the team has run into. OotA is an interesting module in that it involves so many powerful entities. Usually its the bbeg and their lieutenants.

Dawnbringer has new wielder- who has a finger in their pouch! Better explain khul.

The changes to the fight seems better - not that i can recall the unrevised fight (laughs) - , and it also makes sense.

On to next chapter.
Nurgle Worshipper chapter 30 . 11/2/2022
Ok first off. STOP. stop doubting yourself and putting yourself down. .brilliant. Some of the best stuff I have read on this website. Mind you I am reading this after the edits and have not finished it, but still! The characters are fun, their backstories engaging and their relationships with each other dynamic. The only one I have a problem with so far is Ront, but I already see characther development with him so that Might chage! So yea. In short. This is great and stop doubting yourself
Lumen del Mari chapter 60 . 1/19/2022
Well, you're probably not going to believe this but I finished this last night. I've been getting through several chapters a night and haven't been reviewing a) because I was reading on my Kindle and typing on it is a pain in the ass on it and b) because the story was flowing so nicely that I just wanted to keep reading instead of stopping and analyzing every little detail. SO I do want to go back at some point and leave some reviews on certain chapters but for now...just an overall review of the last few story arcs.

Also, I agree with CyrusJ that you should not be so harsh on yourself in your author's notes! You are a good writer! Believe me, this story has been a real pleasure to read. And the fact that you typed so many chapters on your phone also gives credibility to you as an author. I definitely could not do that, small edits and little drabbles sure, but full-blown chapters? No way.

Wild Hunt arc. I am curious to see if anything comes of Kuhl giving away his ring. I'm guessing that is somehow going to bleed over into what I'll call "campaign 2" LOL.

I was very intrigued by the addition of your alchemist and also that he stuck around! I giggled at all the potion "side-effect" banter with the townspeople. At one point the Sherrif said something like, "Shut up, Gerald" to one of them compaining-such a minor thing, but I laughed out loud. When you said the alchemist had slits for eyes and a long forked tongue, I was immediately guessing he is yuan-ti. I played in a Roll20 homebrew game with yuan-ti sorceress PC and boy was she nasty, we called her "evil snake bitch". I was thinking that Shurash might have ulterior motives but that has yet to be seen.

Carnvial/Necromancer Arc. So, when I realized you were going the carnival route I got extremely nervous, not because I hated the idea of a carnival but because we also had a small side quest involving a carnival. And so I thought you might've found the same source material DM/husband used. It wasn't in RAW. However, when no one got impaled to a post by a sword, devoured by harpies, or anything else disturbing, I realized it was NOT the same carnival. (To tell you the truth, I liked yours better. Ours was a straight-up horror show).

The idea that the carnival were worshipers of the Raven Queen was really cool, and that you were able to weave that in with Orcus's attempt to find a foothold on the surface really worked story-wise. That was such a fun arc to read. As I said, I wasn't even thinking of reviewing by that point because I REALLY wanted to find out what happened next. I'm curious as to whether or not the Raven Queen accepts the necromancer's soul. Maybe they'll pop up again sometimes.

That being said, after reading that arc it got me thinking...the demon lords are loose in the Underdark and the adventurers have been on the surface for a while, going on side quests and now, traveling to Waterdeep. What will they return to? As you said, you did plan to eventually do the second half of OOTA. I think in our game the characters had a six to eight-week gap in between escaping the Underdark and being summoned back for the Council. In that short time, things had gotten SO MUCH WORSE, and spread, affecting the surface as well (some of that was in consequence to our own actions but that is neither here nor there). So I am curious to see how you handle that in the new story, whether we see a foreshadowing of events going on down below, and how you plan to weave OOTA back into the characters' lives.

Derendil's Ashes Arc. I was not expecting Avaere to be Derendil's granddaughter. I actually had suspected that she was his sister also being reincarnated, or that she had befallen the terrible fate of other gold-elves and somehow survived 5000 years. I had some things right, at least. But it's always nice to be proven wrong when trying to guess what direction the author is going with a character, keeps the element of surprise. I'm glad Derendil got a "happy" ending and was able to be reunited with the soul of his sister. I do think you did his character justice by giving him something more than "deranged quaggoth" and weaving so much Forgotten Realms lore into it. I'm sure that took a lot of research.

Lastly, Price of Beauty Arc. I won't lie, this one threw me for a loop. Not because I did not enjoy it, I thought it had a very good plotline and interesting characters. I mean a half-demon, a medusa, and a polymorphed kobold being the "heroes" of the arc is awesome! Overall, a good read. But it just felt like more of a side-side plot that could have been posted separately from the rest of the story since Avaere became the central character instead of Kuhl, Jhelnae, Aleina, or Sky. That's just me being finicky though. Probably because I was hoping to see what trouble Kuhl, Fargas, and Surash got into while visiting Kuhl's grandmother. :D

Phew, that was a lot of typing. I shall certainly follow you over to Waterdeep. I love these characters and can't wait to see what else you have in store with them. (Sky with a detective agency, OMG I can't wait) But I'm almost a little sad. Now that I am caught up, I have to be like everyone else and patiently await updates LOL
Lumen del Mari chapter 38 . 1/11/2022
Op. I don’t like the fact that Ilvara still lives. Her and Asha AND Jorlan. I guess that will make for an interesting plot when they make they’re way back to the Underdark again. I’ll admit, I had worried when you posted the epilogue, though I haven’t read to that point yet, that you might be giving up on the second half of the campaign. I’m glad to hear you’re going to play around in Waterdeep, the drag them back down. Gives plenty of time to spread the demon lord’s influence on the surface, giving more prominence to the Council (if that hasn’t happened already, I have no idea lol)

“Even my mother, for all the vile things she has done, is worthy of dance. If she would but do so, as she once did, the multiverse would be a happier place.”

Ah. Eilistraee. Beautiful. I look forward to your continued depiction of her, as I’d had some thought she’d interfere with Jhelnae’s pact. And it does make sense that she would show a more prominent presence on the surface. As she did in our game :D :D :D

I don’t think you need to worry as to an explanation for the naked dancing. That is part of Eilistraee’s lore and though I get it may be a bit awkward to write, I think less “rational” is better. It’s not rational, it just “is”.
Lumen del Mari chapter 37 . 1/11/2022
I choked at “level 5”. We were level 8. And though there were some major differences to our escape from the Underdark, I still couldn’t imagine being only level 5. Phew.

I liked the depiction for the old elven bridge leading to the portal!

And I also really enjoyed Jorlan’s bit. maybe it’s because I made him more of a character in my story, or maybe it’s captainecchi’s fic, but it’s made me a little more partial to the fate of his character.
Lumen del Mari chapter 34 . 1/11/2022
Made it through the Blingdenstone arc at last. I haven't been commenting, not because I didn't have anything to comment upon but because I have enjoyed the last few chapters so much that I just wanted to keep reading! Not only was this a refreshing take since things transpired much different than how I played, it also brought up a lot of good memories. :) So overall, a job well done. I know you'd mentioned you felt this part might be a drag or not live up to its hype, I did not feel that way at all. Aleina and the others coming to the rescue at the last moment was just want the story needed. And this last bit, a tribute to Derendil. Very heartfelt. Like when the hobbits all sit together at the Green Dragon for a final time in Return of the King, where they are happy to be home but altogether changed. That's how I think the party feels at this point. Curious to see how the party will split ways after this... Besides, you can't go wrong with a tavern sit down after a long battle. I'm glad Fargas was able to help Tappy out by brewing ale. And that it got Ront a little drunk.

I'm trying to think if there anything specific over the last few chapters I want to make mention of.

I thought you described the basilisk battle well. Looking back, I too feel bad that it was a slaughter and that we left eggs behind. I'm glad you found a good purpose for them in your story as future protectors of Blingdenstone. DM/husband never told us about their potential, the imprinting, so that was an aspect we were unaware of.

High pitched screaming started. It took a moment for Kuhl to identify the source. It came from Senni, the chief's wife.
I love Senni to pieces. This part made me giggle.

It's funny, I find myself often being annoyed by Ront's behavior, and then also enjoying it because I feel like every party needs that bit of negative influence, the thing that sparks conflict and keeps things from being all sunshine and roses all the time. Plus, it's just Ront's character. He can't help it.

Oh! So, I swear I am not making this up...we also named our earth elemental Rocky when we were gifted the Stone of Controlling Earth Elementals. Probably not canon, but I decided it summoned the same earth elemental each time, and he had to be given a name. We had similar thinking on that.

I thought the rainbow bit, where they were all talking about what they would want to do given they made it out the battle for Blingdenstone was a nice touch. You always need that bit of emotion and build up prior to a big battle.

When Kuhl suspected the Turvy was speaking to someone...I wondered if he was inflicted with some sort of madness.

The Pudding King turning into an ooze after his defeat was a very nice touch as well. That didn't quite happen in our battle due to certain circumstances, but something similar did happen in another battle we had without a foe empowered by a demon lord. I had always thought that idea interesting, that the demon lord can still influence them beyond death.

I am afraid I will forget again, and this body was made for deep dark places. Not the surface.
I teared up. I can't believe Derendil is dead. And to say, I don't think his story is silly or an info dump at all. It's a new refreshing take and though I am so sad over his death, I look forward to seeing what the party will do to fulfill his last wish and spread his ashes.
Makareth chapter 60 . 1/5/2022
I like it!

Oh Ront. Grouchy as always! XD Wonder what he's up to...

Them doing housework isn't really boring, because you get to focus more on what the characters are saying, rather than doing! I think it worked really well.

I will definitely read anything else you post!
Daxxers chapter 60 . 1/3/2022
I see that Ront has not mellowed. Now with what does an Orc need help?

Loads of fun! Thanks.
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