Reviews for Out of the Abyss
Lumen del Mari chapter 22 . 11/18/2021
Hmmm. No fight from Phylo and the myconids. Interesting. I do think that makes for an emotional scene with the empathy spores. And they took spore servants and zurkhwood with them. Curious. That would be a strange group to encounter for sure.
“I hope Blingdenstone has a good inn” I’m giggling now. :D I made the reference of comparing Fargas to Regis from the Drizzt Do’Urden books and now I’m finding irony in the fact that Regis is called Rumblebelly and Fragas’s surname is Rumblefoot!
Oh. Mind flayer. I do find it somewhat strange that Aleina would know what a mindflayer is. They are an elusive Underdark race, far more so than deep gnomes, duergar, or drow. The Underdark is already considered so disconnected from the World Above. I’m not sure you could read of illithid in a common chapbook. Jhelnae I could give a pass, but Aleina or any of the others, I’m hesitant.
Never given thought to mind flayers not being able to feed on myconid. I like that idea.
An ioun stone. Even more intriguing.
Okay. I’m laughing now. Iounitarian. Brain diet. I am loving this.
And sharing dreams now. Interesting. And intriguing that Aleina has had a dream no one else has had. Except Rhianne. Graz’zt. Must be. Oh yeah. The more I read, I’m convinced it’s Graz’zt.
“I’d like to listen in on that conversation,” Fargas said. “And take notes if you don’t mind.”
Fargas has like…no real backstory in the module outside of the tomb. That makes it even more hilarious to me that our Fargas’s might be more alike than you could imagine.
Oh they split! I wasn’t ready for that. So suddenly.
“Goodbye little princes”
Derendil’s line was well put.
I have wondered, encounters wise have you picked from the module what you have thought was interesting and wanted to write, or have you rolled for it and let the dice determine your chapters? Just a random though I had just now. If I’ve asked this before and forgotten; I blame the fact that I am just getting off from a swing swift and I am exhausted!
Lumen del Mari chapter 21 . 11/18/2021
I hated getting to this part and knowing Sarith’s fate. I really do think you played it well, having Jhelnae fight him. Emotional impact.
The wedding rehearsal scene was weird, but there’s no way not to make it weird or give one shivers. So I applaud you on that.
Fargas cowardice and wanting to leave the group cracks me up.
Again, I’m shocked at how quickly your group started putting the pieces of the demon lords together. It took us an embarrassingly long time….
Oooh. Garden of Horrors. I like it. And the funeral pyre. That was a good end note.
Lumen del Mari chapter 19 . 11/17/2021
Oh my. Neverlight already?!
I’d never given much thought to the smell of Neverlight. I’d always imagined it so beautiful, despite the decay. But that makes a lot of sense that it likely would smell dreadful.
I’m liking the gross factor descriptions.
Also. I totally thank you for reminding me that halflings do not have darkvision. I realize now we made that mistake with Fargas in our game. I’m eventually going to have to change a bunch of things, or find an logical explanation on how he is able to see in the dark for my story….
Ah, the philter of love…. so many shenanigans that could be used for. I’m glad Rhianne took it.
Brysis definitely has the Egyptian vibe when it came to her tomb.
I almost thought you were going to kill the sprouts! I would say how cruel, but Stool had SOOOO many near death experiences in our game. Poor buddy.
Hmmm. So Fargas is to be the Regis “Rumblebelly” of the group, hiding behind others. :D
Ah, a grick. I’d been trying to figure out what the creature was. I thought it might be a roper at first. But the beak description threw me off.
“The tabaxi held up her hand to just below her height and furrowed her brow to the point she was almost cross eyed.” — yep, that’s Sarith in a nutshell!
I have a really bad feeling I know where this is going.
Lumen del Mari chapter 18 . 11/17/2021
Some fun action this chapter! I feel like Dawnbringer is already a voice of reason/“mom” haha. I’m curious to see if Kuhl will wield her or if Sky keeps the sword.
Dawnbringer was such a cool artifact. We didn’t really delve too much into it in our game for external reasons. I’m hoping to remedy that in my story, however.
I love Ront’s sassiness.
Hmmm. What happens with Fargas now that he has found his tomb?
Daxxers chapter 52 . 11/17/2021
The humour worked. Loved Kuhl's late and weak response.

Ooh. Spell Archer. Will have to look that one up.
Makareth chapter 51 . 11/16/2021
This isn't crap at all! I loved it!
I was wondering if Aravae was going to have some connection to the ghost, but I wasn't expecting the ghost to be Derendil's sister. Everything flowed pretty well I think, and didn't feel rushed or anything.

It was really nice to see Derendil again though, even if only for a short while. :')
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 51 . 11/8/2021
Ahhh this was such a good chapter all around!

As soon as the ghost had settled on Aravae as a target, I thought that she could tell that Aravae was part demon… but I was still wondering what it was she wanted. Poor ghost, tormented by the thought that she had given birth to a child that might be destined to be evil… haunted by that for thousands of years.

[“Is she doing what I think she is doing?” Fargas asked.]

What did Fargas think she was doing? I thought she might have been taking off the armor so she could force Aravae to kill herself or something. But I’m not sure if that was Fargas’s and the others’ conclusion as well.

And ah, Jhelnae is the one to go to Aravae and hug her… not Mialee, her good friend (but Mialee might be in too much shock…)... potential romantic development? You said Aravae would be written out soon though… are you SURE?

But anyway… Derendil and his sister reunited at last T_T after all that time…

[“Sky, did I not say if we met again, we would smile?”

“What’s he saying?”

“Well met.”

“As always, your translation skills are poor.”]

This made me laugh.

Also Fargas “That really explains a lot” LMFAO. I assume he’s actually thinking of her temper or something (it sounded like he was insinuating she was promiscuous, but not only does that not seem to be particularly true it also doesn’t seem like something Fargas would say… but then again he was making some comment’s about Aleina’s assumed virginity earlier… so maybe he would )… but yeah… genius cover to say he was talking about that with Ront. ‘XD

Anyway I thought it was good, and it probably came out fast because you were excited to write it. And yeah it doesn’t really make sense for a Quaggoth to go mad and suddenly speak a language he doesn’t normally speak. I went a different direction with him but leaving it at face-value the way the module describes it would be really underwhelming I think. I don’t think what works in a campaign necessarily works in literature… the module leaves room for the DM to further develop the NPCs partially based on what the Players are interested in, so it’s okay to not flesh out a full backstory for everyone, but in literature you kinda gotta give all your leads a satisfactory follow-through, and if this had just ended with Derendil following them out and attacking them like the module said that would be a bit of a letdown.
Guest chapter 51 . 11/8/2021
Not being familiar with the 'Out of the Abyss' campaign and not so much up on elvish history, I have have no idea how far you have strayed from the campaign story-line. But this fanfic, write what you want!

However, I get the feeling that although we have followed your heroes through some interesting adventures, we are a long ways from the main story. It will be interesting to see how you get them back on track. (And remind me... where are they going to now? So much has happened I forgot what they need to do.)
Makareth chapter 50 . 11/6/2021
Very interesting. I wonder who this spectral elf lady is...
Looking forward to seeing where you take this!
She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 50 . 11/4/2021
Ohh, I strongly suspect I know what Aravae is now. Part demon? It would certainly explain why she doesn’t want to tell anyone. Poor thing. She’s (judging from last chapter) something that can fly… I know some demons can…

And now I feel like that should have been a guess earlier, since this was mentioned earlier. I kinda forgot about that whole thing until now.

…now I have a question, and there’s no way to ask it without sounding sick in the head but I’m going to ask anyway. Obviously it’s wildly immoral to force anyone to breed with demons, but it seems doubly unfair to force only females to do so. Why not force male elves to impregnate captured female demons and keep said demons restrained until they give birth? Are they just sexist or is there a particular logistical reason, like whatever species of demon they want being male-only?

Ahhh that cliffhanger at the end! Could the ghost be Derendil’s sister? If it is I’m probably gonna cry. And if it’s not her, I’m still curious.
Lumen del Mari chapter 16 . 11/4/2021
Fargas! That’s all I will way for that. :D
Lumen del Mari chapter 15 . 11/4/2021
Oh goodness, I hope no one was upset about your fey patron idea. I think it’s awesome! New lore is added to Forgotten Realms all the time. The whole point of d&d is to encourage creativity with your characters. And with the addition of Tasha’s Guide to Everything, the possibilities are endless now! We had a non-canon goddess in our campaign too, (actually She is borrowed from Matthew Mercer’s world of Exandria. I haven’t decided if I will try to create an original goddess or supplement canon for my story or not) and also an player created “patron/lesser deity” as well. If you like the fey lore, I think you will adore Avandane and our Feywild arc when I eventually get to that point. (I don’t think that’s too spoiler-y…)

But enough on that rant. It has nothing to do with your story.

I guess what I’m saying is don’t apologize for being creative and finding something that worked to fit your character! :D which I’m guessing now you played Kuhl? Were the players in your other campaign Jhelnae, Sky, and Aleina? Or did you make them up? I have so many questions now from just that one little authors note. I haven’t even gotten to the chapter yet. Geez.

Like you, commenting as I go.

The Shattered Spire. My heart is warm, haha. So many memories. So many drunken shenanigans. This is slightly irrelevant BUT our group of d&d players are all craft beer drinkers. When we got to this first tavern in the game, the DM (aka husband) had a menu for the tavern set up with pairing beers for us to sample. It made for a very fun player experience!

Stool is a feisty little sprout.

Mad derro surprise…. oh this should be interesting. Of course Sky wants to try it. I’m sad no one did.

I do wish there was more interaction with the Stonespeakers. But the party has the Stonespeaker Crystal now! That’s good!

I assume the second good act the party did was recover the dragon egg. I am wondering if the party will ever meet Themberchaud now. Seems like with the help of the darklings, they’re going to make a quick exit.

You are also so generous with your party in having bathing pools! All we got at the Lair was a tub of lukewarm water. :D (I don’t think this stuff is too spoiler-y for my story. I like being able to compare different scenarios and I know it’s going to be a while before I get there.)

Hmmm. It seems sudden to hear that Derendil sometimes reverts to his bestial nature when pushed about his origin as it hasn’t really been shown in character interaction. I had actually been beginning to wonder if that was a detail to his background you’d decided to remove entirely. He is always so proper and poetic! Perhaps he is the party’s key to Gravenhollow…given he’s had dreams about a library, and stories. Just speculation of course.

I am absolutely eating up the bath scene bard-lore. I know you have worried in the past that lore might feel like an info dump but I think hardcore fans of the game will like it. Or maybe I’m just a lore nerd. Some of this is all new to me! I know you said some of it is your own creation BUT I feel like I am going to be going into a research spiral in the near future.

Very, very minor things. “In those early times before she founded her realm in the [Abyss]…” should be capitalized like Feywild in the next sentence. I’ve also noticed a few dialogue paragraphs missing quotation marks throughout this scene.

Clever of the succubus to take the form of Ilvara. I was in a half panic of SHIT she found them already?! I’m not ready for this show down. Though…I have to admit, that would have made for a very interesting combat scene. Just the females in the bath?!

This succubus. I have so many questions of her and Graz’zt involvement with the party!
Lumen del Mari chapter 14 . 11/4/2021
Why the hate for the dungeon crawl? It didn’t drag for me, and I think it followed the module nicely.

I hope you don’t “really” hate dungeon crawls otherwise you’ll hate my Gracklestugh arc. We spent literally forever in the tunnels. the DM broke from the module and added additional quests.

I thought it was a fun few chapters. I like Jhelnae’s use of the alchemist fire, that was a good touch. I found it ironic though that she regretted the deaths of the cultist derro and then in the next fight scene set a poor alchemist on fire. I had a terrible thought as I read that scene on how morbid it is to purposely do that. But I think we’re all guilty of it in d&d. My spellcasters have done the same.

Excuse me and my morbid thinking.

I really enjoyed the ettin’s banter. For some silly reason, I didn’t realize they could speak.

Droki always reminds me of White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. I’m glad Sky got his Boots of Speed. :D

Ront seems less grumpy without Sarith to feed off of.

That’s all I can think of for now. Onward I read!
Lumen del Mari chapter 12 . 11/2/2021
“Fire needs air,” Ront snorted. “You accidentally set this forest ablaze, we suffocate.”

“But the smoke and lack of air from an out of control fire could kill us.”

Me…. sitting over here dying laughing now thinking of how many times Kazimir casting Fireball should have killed our entire party. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure we really did use fire to get through this same fungi patch in our game…whoops :D

Also. I love that they ate the mushrooms. That was a fun scene.
Lumen del Mari chapter 10 . 11/2/2021
Here I go again after saying I wasn’t going to review every chapter and bombard you with reviews but I thought of something else after I posted the last one. I was too busy being concerned over what happened to Sarith, haha.

I enjoyed the Buppido fight. I think you did a good job of explaining his kills and the undead that fight alongside him. However, I feel like his betrayal of the party lacked the reeling gut-punch it had the potential to have—especially given Jhelnae’s emotional reaction—because we didn’t see much of Buppido before hand. It’s assumed he traveled with the party but I don’t recall him interacting too much with the main PCs in previous chapters.

Maybe it’s just me, but I like dramatics :P

Otherwise, I’m still trucking along, slowly but surely catching up to your new chapters!
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