|Reviews for People and Humans|
| anon chapter 1 . 9/29/2020
I love it! I'm so happy I found this!
| kintsugii chapter 1 . 7/15/2020
I! Never crossposted this! Oops!
[Harmony awoke slowly, not the sudden burst of wakefulness that came from sunlight hitting his leaves, but a long struggle to consciousness as if from drugs or illness.]
This is a line that would normally work really well in any other setting, but do... do pokemon in the PMD world do drugs? I imagine the answer could be yes, but then that really opens up a lot of questions, such as - are they recreational? medicinal? can drugs even effect tropius? would N be the kind of person to either frequently use recreational drugs or frequently require medical ones?
Maybe an easier/more relatable one for N would be getting hit with a forced-sleep move or something?
[He was in a dungeon. He had to be in a dungeon.]
I really like this line of wrong (but logical) thinking! There are orbs that turn pokemon into items, after all, so this would totally make sense. Him treating the castle as a mystery dungeon is also a brilliant idea.
[If one was transformed into the same species as a friend, then at least one might have some idea of the powers accessible to them, but it was essentially useless without the long practice that one would gain growing from a child while using one's powers.]
Likewise, good train of thinking here, but (personal preference) the repeated usage of "one" makes this paragraph read pretty awkwardly since he's speaking from personal experience/as if this happened before, so the use of a hypothetical "one" doesn't really fit. Also, you use "you" later with "They might just Slash you in the back". Something like "If he'd been transformed into the same species as a friend, then at least he might've had some idea..." might fit better.
[The furniture here, though, was not mismatched or battered, and the chest of drawers was filled with fabric, an enormous amount of fabric like the bed he'd awakened on.]
lmao I love how you foreshadow that he's not wearing clothes here
[He struggled with the mechanism for some time before realizing that his chimchar paws could be used to work it by clamping it between the palms and turning.]
hilarious mental image here.
["Oh, all right, thank you," Harmony said, playing along. This was shaping up to be a very unusual dungeon run.]
This is a really clever, delicate way to write comedy - the situation is serious and the character is taking things seriously, but in doing so he's creating humorous situations that he doesn't know about. I thought this was great.
[and a strange white liquid that he refused in favour of a more familiar berry juice. It was very tasty, although perhaps somewhat overly sweet, and Harmony would have preferred something starchier and more fibrous for a long day of dungeon running, not to mention a good sit in the sun.]
poor baby would be stunned to know where that white liquid came from.
Also, the casual details about what Harmony prefers are great here.
["Oh, I'm very excited. Father," he added awkwardly, taking a wild stab at gender. "I'm just… really very tired, still. I couldn't sleep, I was so excited," he invented.]
This line is... *chef's kiss*
["Natural Harmonia Gropius," the assistant said, clacking. "That's a bit of a mouthful. Do you go by a nickname? Maybe 'Nat'? 'N-H'? 'N'?"]
I love how she's so eager to nickname him without his consent. Really matches the "get your starter child and give it a new name and then throw it into battle" mood.
Isn't Ghetsis's full name Ghetsis Harmonia Gropius though? Also I think canonically he raised his kid to hate humans instead of that appearing on its own because no one would just develop an aversion to training on their own, so it's a little unclear how much of this meshes with that timeline/canon (if at all)
also what happened to Ghetsis's actual kid wait a sec
[But they were clever, incredibly clever, and they made many ingenious and terrible inventions. At last, one of those inventions had been used to destroy themselves.]
Is this reference to the XY cannon canon?
["But not until someone died?"
The white-clad creature gave a nervous laugh. "This is a lot of questions! I think this has been a bit too much for you today. Why don't we call your parents?"]
I love the dialogue here, and how it basically is just this poor assistant pouring more and more fuel on the fire and not being able to defend the ideology correctly. I'd be really curious to see how Harmony would've reacted to the other defenses of training - oh yeah, they actually like this; they're not smart enough to battle on their own so they need us; this is how you earn their TRUST.
[But he couldn't sit and wait for his friends to find him. There were people, children, out there even now, snatched up from their parents and tucked into prisons for the amusement of demons.]
yeee, brave brave boi gonna is about to isekai the FUCK out of Unova.
The execution of the concept here is really clever, and I like the pacing on this. It's just long enough to realize that something is horribly wrong - the buildup to the battling bit is really well-done, and Harmony's distress in response to watching the babies fight is a great climax. The body fuckery is really good as well (there was a nice line where he was afraid of his own voice that I thought rocked). And there are a lot of bits that just fit; of course he's socially awkward and fascinated by random shit like ferris wheels.
I sort of wish he hadn't called the humans "creatures" - sort of implies that he instinctively others/treats as non-humans the things that he doesn't recognize, which undermines the point a bit. I tried to think of a better replacement word and came up with nothing, though.
Still though, really loved how you pull this off - I ended up being inspired to write my own take on this concept around the same time you did, and I like the choice to follow this one scene really closely to its logical conclusion. Thanks for sharing!
| OliverJasmine chapter 1 . 3/6/2020
This is remarkable! And makes way way too much sense.
| WildBoots chapter 1 . 1/30/2020
Definitely an interesting concept! I caught that it was N as soon as Ghetsis showed up and started proselytizing — you includes good hints. From his perspective, you really get the horror of what’s considered normal in the Pokémon world. That distinction between “people” and “Pokémon” is very, very interesting and thought-provoking.
I wish we knew more about why he was transformed! In Kafka the implication is that Gregor lost his humanity in the grind of capitalism, and (if I recall) in PMD the player is being punished for a past wrong...? Hints at something that addresses that question are the one thing I’d say this is missing.
| Ember A. Keelty chapter 1 . 1/29/2020
Very clever! The idea of N being a PMD changeling is an impressively horrifying and heartwrenching take on what's meant by all of the canonical confusion about whether or not he's really Ghetsis's son. Like some other commenters, I'm really curious about the family's take on what the heck is going on here.
"In front of it was a gaggle of creatures with various colors of plumage, and, he was relieved to see, some actual people."
While I like this bit a lot in theory, it seems kind of harsh at this point in the story. Soon it will become clear that humans are categorically different, because they've chosen to be if nothing else, but I don't think that's been unequivocally established by this point, and Harmony is used to people coming in all different shapes and sizes, including ones he might not have encountered before.
| Farla chapter 1 . 1/28/2020
Oh, that is a lovely phrase I will have to start using every chance I get.
I really, really wonder what N's "family" actually thinks is going on here. It doesn't seem like he does anything too weird, at least assuming the original kid was pretty dopey (or their memories of who he was since I'm unsure if he's replacing someone or been slotted into the universe – the green hair kind of points to him being slotted in, but it could also be that he got shoved into the most kind of sort of grass pokemony body in the transfer) and with an overbearing father like Ghetsis I could see a kid being very passive and too timid to ask questions so they end up seeming like they can't retain information.
[In front of it was a gaggle of creatures with various colors of plumage, and, he was relieved to see, some actual people.
Among the creatures, who were talking and laughing with each other, were a number of snivy, oshawott, and tepig.
Excited, he ran up to them, gabbling and dropping to his absurd knees to be more at eye level.
"Hello! I was wondering if you could point me toward the Explorers' Guild, I was separated from my team and—uh…"]
This is so great.
[Harmony took a deep breath. "My name is Natural Harmony, a tropius.]
So, so great.
[ In the yard, a swipe from one child had drawn blood on the other, and he had run back to his creature. Instead of taking the oshawott up in their arms, as a parent should have done, they were yelling for him to fight on.]
And so horrifying!
So yes, this is lovely.
(you're cyberbullying me with the semicolons tho)
| An Author's Pen chapter 1 . 1/26/2020
This works so well. I love how you make every aspect of human life utterly bizarre and confusing to Natural Harmony. The world building for PMD was also interesting, particularly the bits about dungeon transformations and "dead ends." Also, "Natural Harmony, a tropius" into "Natural Harmonia Gropius" is pretty brilliant!
PMD is a great lens to reveal the inequities of the standard pokemon world. N's bafflement and his slow realization about pokeballs and pokemon battling hit really hard. Little details, like the berry juice at the back of his mouth, really made his disgust feel visceral.
I'm just blown away by how much sense this makes with how N seems so discordant with everything about the canon world, and his unusual social skills. One thing I wonder is what Ghetsis' plan was in this verse before he realized his "son" could suddenly understand pokemon. Did he just adapt to circumstances to make pokemon liberation the front for his movement?
This works great as a one-shot, though it does leave me wanting to read more from Natural Harmony's perspective.
| St Elmo's Fire chapter 1 . 1/26/2020
["Remember all that I have taught you," the father-creature said. "Remember the message we wish to share with the world."]
Oh god, this is where it clicked for me. I was wondering about the "eyespots", but didn't think it was that literal!
[Normally Harmony would have agreed that fighting evil as a good thing]
Should that be "was a good thing"?
[It was highly regular with straight lines, like when rock types raised slabs of stone to make dens]
I really like this description. The little details you provide about pokemon culture are fascinating.
[In front of it was a gaggle of creatures with various colors of plumage, and, he was relieved to see, some actual people.]
This is brilliant. I love it when you have PMD intersect with main canon - I don't normally like PMD, but the worldbuilding details you give here make so much sense.
| imaginair chapter 1 . 1/25/2020
Interesting idea! This was well written and I totally sympathize with N for thinking this world is awful if he comes from the PMD universe. It would really suck. I really did enjoy this, but maybe put the author's note that N has been transported to the human Pokemon world because it was a little confusing and I had to read it a second time to really get what was going on. It left me with a lot of questions, like if the real N was transported to the PMD world or how old N is.
Anyway, this was fun! Just a little confusing.