i hope you continue this, great read and i love the characters 3

Keep up the good work, remember that for every negative comment there are hundreds if not thousands of people that love your story but choose not to say anything!

Moarr

Oh no, you're actually rewriting this? During th eprocess of making new chapter...?

*sigh*

This is how the story dies, I'm sorry. I've seen this happen many times and it will happen here too.

Rewriting grinds your progress into a halt. Nobody's going to see your changes and in the end you risk making some changes that will cause inconsistency which requries more rewriting, which stalls the progress even more. And by the time you caught up or are halfway, you start to lose interest. The fire only burns for so long.

I hope Ralts evolves at somepoint and isnt just a mascot like Ash’s pikachu

You're a good writer. Personally glad I get to binge up to here without the wait, but also very glad you continued despite the gap. Thank you author-san

Haha, Midna has the perfect comedic timing. Just has a tough crowd

It still sucks because it wasn't a non factor that caused them to lose.
It was you as the writer not wanting Paul to be defeated here when he was had dead to writes so you used writing device to make the kid evolved. We can say this isn't the same as the anime universe, however the story still starts at the beginning of that league as shown in your previous chapter. So that one 'specific' change that pops up is always gonna be plot device if everything else is similar.

Next chapter

Whoppe, that sucks. Making main character metaphysics a thing because you can't thing of an intelligent way for a fictional trainer to beat a pokemon gamer
Really hope the whole story isn't going be about the main characters getting their banana ridden the whole way

Onwards to find out o guess

Remember how you mentioned reading a book and tit being amazing until a certain point, after which it fell off? This Hunter J - Red Orphanage Arc might be that point for your fiction. The change in what's been happening was evident, and yet our MC was... disappointing in so many ways. It feels human though, and bringing up his mental health using the Hunt's Nurse helped to frame why he was acting the way he was. But I think using even more perspective from Fay and Luna to see what he really is feeling in a moment would be pretty useful in allowing us to empathize with him, because the MC isn't honest even with himself so there's no point in which we can go "oh yea, i feel the same way and I'd suck it up too". I think the word "connection" could be used when talking about him and Froslass. Specifically, I think that connection could be emphasized if his first impression of her was a good one, where she's just escaped like Z and is looking at him with adoration, and then he turns the corner and sees the macabre display of her "love". An outside perspective of when he freezes in the various confrontations would be great as well.

Boo, Satoshi is way cooler then ash

And dust wildfire? Are you kidding me? Even in Pokemon people will look at him like he has middle school syndrome

The new one is now named Midna, Dust Dust, just admit you are building a harem lol

Still only halfway through, but I KNEW Luna had yandere vibes! That said, I still love her and hope they can all be happy later on~
Welp, gotta keep reading

You asked for more reviewers, as roughly 0.5% of people left one as of chapter 14, so here you go.

This story is a pain to read.

It isn't bad, it's just extremely slow. You said in either chapters 3-6 that the reader shouldn't worry, as the prologue wouldn't take like 14 chapters to get through like most of those monotonous stories out there. Yet, it took 15 chapters for you to get through it.

You're a liar. It was such a slog to get through, but I held out because I believe in the potential here. I almost just skipped ahead. You never want a reader skipping ahead, you want them to be excited for the next chapter.

For perspective, it has been 15 chapters and the MC has one pokemon that knows two moves. He isn't even registered as an actual Pokemon trainer yet. He's only met one canon character who hasn't done much and the rest have been OCs. Even the town he's in is non-canon. I understand the need to have original content, as Pokemon has so much you can add, but the majority of your content so far is original. Usually the sign of a boring fanfiction.

It's just really boring to read. Feels like nothing too great has happened for 50k words. Sure, he beat up and got beat up by a few Team Rocket grunts, but you're telling me after 15 chapters, that's all you had? Two Pokemon battles against not even real trainers, and two run-ins with Team Rocket, one of those times having the MC flee. Literally the opposite of fun to read, just run away from the action. Yes, I understand the logic, he's too weak to battle them all, but understand the reader's perspective. You have the most interesting scene happen so far, and the MC runs away.

Does that sound fun to read? From my reader's perspective, absolutely not. It was super lame. Felt like you set up a big climax and barely anything happened. What, MC uses someone else's Pokemon to defeat some Zubat? So? He gets some bounty money from the Rocket grunts who were caught? So? He still barely did anything. He still ran away. And most importantly, it wasn't very fun to read. So anticlimactic.

Again, I know this review is a bit harsh, but that's because I believe in the potential and that I was lied to. You said the prologue wouldn't take that long and it did. What has been written so far feels shallow for the amount of words there are. You could've done more in that amount of time, yet we're only just now leaving the non-canon hospital. The journey so far has not been worth it. But your story is one of the most popular for a reason. I'm sure if I stick it out, something interesting will finally happen.

Let's hope the next part has a plot where the biggest scene doesn't take place off screen.

Great chapter can’t wait for more!