Reviews for Song of A Northern Sorcerer |
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AkiraUzumaky chapter 3 . 3/8/2020 As always amazing new chapter! Good job! |
Guest chapter 3 . 3/8/2020 humm I wonder if Ned will fight diffrently now |
Naruto Loves FemKyuubi chapter 3 . 3/8/2020 :3 |
doraemax chapter 1 . 3/5/2020 Wow. I am very very Intrigued. If Jon's potential is astronomical...I'm thinking Arya and Bran in particular will have even more potential. And what of Daenerys? huhuhu |
Sorceric7 chapter 2 . 3/2/2020 I’ll admit, your making me question if Nox is better than Occlus. Is Nox Miraluka or simply crippled into blindness? Not that it matters. Your story is making me think of One-Hundred Eyes from Marco Polo. But I don’t know how involved Nox is going to be. It makes me anxious for the next chapter. Looking forward to seeing more. |
miguelgiuliano.co chapter 2 . 2/29/2020 Wow genial historia espero con ansias por el próximo capitulo. Sin duda espero que con la llegada de Nox, el norte avance a grandes pasas para una conquista exitosa. Otra cosa a resaltar seria que agregaras una mayor fauna al mundo de Game-of-Throne como lo serian los animales prehistóricos en especial de la edad del hielo. Así como un aprovechamiento en los recursos naturales que podrías agregar para el Norte. Así como agregar algo de cosecha como podría ser el Arroz que crece en los pantanos y así como hay otras frutas, verduras, hortalizas, cereales y hierbas medicinales que crecen en climas fríos, puedes usar todo el lado Sur del Norte para cosechas y el lado Norte para la minería. |
bored peasant chapter 2 . 2/26/2020 I am liking this story. I look forward to more being written. |
Sage1988 chapter 2 . 2/26/2020 Very interesting, I like this story so far. A bit of shame about your other stories. I do have one slight thing to say, how is Nox going to keep his lightsabers going? They have a power cell but eventually they are going to run out and this world has no electricity. How is he going to keep his going and presumably his apprentices later? |
Helyanweh chapter 2 . 2/25/2020 Great story thus far and I'm interested to see where you'll take it. One nitpick, but Ned observes that Nox's armor allows for good mobility and that heavy plate armor is highly limiting in this way. That's actually not true, provided that it is well designed and properly fitted plate armor. In a society like Westeros, if you have the means to afford it you'd have an armorsmith make plate armor specifically for you. Such armor will be made to allow you the full range of motion you're capable of and it is thus possible to do some pretty impressive acrobatics in full plate armor. The main limitation of heavy plate is the weight of the armor, making fighting in such for extended periods really tough and require extensive training. (Not to mention the limited visibility of the helmet, but that depends on helmet design and more lightly armored fighter may still have a helmet with poor visibility.) Also, the story is described as an SI Nox, but I'm not really seeing much evidence yet of the Self-Insert part. Is that intentional, or is it more of a Nox-Insert into Westeros instead of a Self-Insert into this Alim Nox, that is then inserted into Westeros. In the latter case, Alim Nox will have memories of having lived in our world, while in the other case Alim Nox will only have memories of having lived in the Star Wars universe. I've seen no references to any knowledge of our world though, just things from Star Wars, which is confusing me. Lastly, I hope that precognition/Force visions won't be too prominent. They are hard to get right without ruining the story telling and I therefore prefer to see them used as little as possible as a plot device. What was used here was just limited and broad enough to not ruin the plot, only give us a small taste of the struggles yet to come. I think the vision could have been even more limited than it already was and still serve its purpose well, maybe even a little better, but that's just personal opinion (as always). Anyway, keep up the great storytelling. |
thefoolishman chapter 2 . 2/25/2020 Hello! Well I have to agree with Bobywhy. I have favorited this at the beginning due to my hopes but... the second chapter was a weak follow up. I won't repeat what bobywhy said (I mean he has done a job far better than i ever could) and the only thing i don't mind much from what he pointed out was the tree thing, I mean yeah. But the thing about sensing that magical wood thing if he has force vision? I mean i would think it would be blinding him as all hells. Or attract him) but I would also think that his points should be adressed. Especially the force vision(s?). The thing about the architecture though is somewhat alright. I mean he probably only saw it in some logs at best and being awed what people can do without machines is alright, though I would think that he wouldn't be this overboard with his praising. Even if its only in his mind mostly. Well I actually planned to stay silent (And wait to see where this leads) but if someone already voiced it, why not reinforce that guy/girl if he/she went to write a small essay to help you. |
Lazymanjones96 chapter 2 . 2/24/2020 Interesting stuff looking forward to more |
Bobywhy chapter 2 . 2/24/2020 Going to be honest and say that this chapter was a pretty weak (bad) follow up to the previous one. The first problem, I feel, was the demonstration of what the lightsaber can do. The first time, when Nox demonstrated on a tree is weird because of how little description/thought you gave to the event. Nox cut down a tree in the middle of the woods which made the North men more wary of him, which is fine and makes total sense, but it makes no mention of how he ensured that the tree wouldn't fall towards him or any one with him (basically I would expect mention of subtle or blatant use of telekinesis to ensure the tree wouldn't fall on or scare anyone, though in the case of obvious TK use everyone would probably be more terrified of him) as well as a mention of how the section of the tree cut by the lightsaber looking burnt, charred, or even slightly aflame. In the 2nd demonstration with the parchment I honestly think that both pieces of parchment should have straight up been set alight (not as much resistance to heat as the tree) and either have to be stamped out by the master or just have him comment on the saber's effects while watching as the parchment turned to ash and dust. The second issue, I believe, lies in just how much you focused in on the architecture. For one the comparison to Winterfell and Alderaan was off-putting in the sense that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that, for all your effort to give the impression otherwise, Alderaanian architecture would/should (aesthetically) win out against anything you could find on Westeros/planetos. Yes Winterfell is an impressive marvel of engineering, especially when you take into account how primitive the tools used to build it are, but, honestly, I prefer what I've seen of Alderaanian architecture over Winterfell and as such I think it would be better if you made clear that it is Nox's opinion more than a statement of fact. A third relatively small issue is how Nox's memory syphon somehow didn't get information about the importance of the weirwoods out of the Wildlings. I don't imagine the fact that the Wildlings practice the old religion is somehow a secret and as such I believe that it would be such common knowledge that the Wildling wouldn't know to keep it secret (if they somehow managed to drum up the will to deny Nox in the first place considering the circumstances) in the first place, let alone manage to. The final, and biggest, issue is in regards to the "Vision" and what led up to it. To start I think it is fair to say that Nox has a very well developed ability (perhaps even Mastery) to sense the force (especially since he seems to have the Miralukan force sight ability). Given this I find it very, very odd that he wouldn't have sensed the Godswood, or the weirwoods/Heart tree in them, in the force from miles away (people have sensed lesser things from much farther in Star Wars canon and legends) even if Winterfell also resonated in the force. Especially if the Heart tree was acting like the beacon you describe it to be (was that the natural state of the tree or was that Bloodraven/ the Children calling for his attention at the first opportunity). All things considered the whole Heart tree vison scene is such a mess that it comes of as an incredibly ham-fisted way to ensure that Nox stays at Winterfell on your part as an author. After all, while pretty amazing force visions don't work the way you described in this chapter (I'm pretty sure it was you taking inspiration from Dr Strange in Infinity War, but the fact that the force and force visions just don't/shouldn't work like that remains) and are never as clear as you described them. Also considering Nox's experience with the Voss, who are the foremost authority on visions to his knowledge, as well as all his other experiences (ie Nox's experience and knowledge with the force and with force visions, ex: both Zash and the Voss as well as the possibility of the Shadow of Revan are all incidents in which Nox has had to deal with Force visions) I think it more likely to find Nox off put by this particular experience due to just how odd it was. After all, there he was just trying to meditate when all of a sudden the trees starts acting up and getting him to go to receive several incredibly clear visions (about losing/failure) and one vague one (that ends in victory) that convinces him to stay and even play second fiddle to another (ie no matter how you twist it it seems like the visions are blatantly telling him to advise and guide future Jon to rule rather than rule himself) as the only way to survive and triumph against some mysterious as of yet unnamed darkness. Honestly how is his first reaction to this not blatant paranoia about some unknown manipulating him and leaving Winterfell out of spite (or even just in case)? Honestly this whole vision nonsense is just about everything wrong with "the chosen one" cliché/trope and just about everything I feared would come if you decided to involve Nox with Jon and the rest of the Starks (is this going to become a Stark fix it fic). All in all I think this chapter needs some pretty serious revision (based on the Force vision alone if nothing else) even if you do insist on turning Nox into Jon's guide rather than making him take center stage. |
Saurons Wrath chapter 2 . 2/24/2020 Okay, this is officially bullshit. I’m sorry, but while this started out really strong, that whole White Walker vision thing Nox has just tipped it to artificial crap. |
Naruto Loves FemKyuubi chapter 2 . 2/23/2020 "Waves Cheerfully At You"H-hey My Dear ffdrake!:3And"Blushes And Smiles Shyly And I Hugs You Happily And Warmly And Sweetly And Softly And Kindly And Lovingly"T-thanks!:3For!:3Another!:3Chapter!:3 (Though I Don't Understand The Meaning Of That Force Vision Because Your Perfect And Sweet And Lovely Darth Nox Is Also Darkness One That Will Frighten Night King And All Others Did You Depowered Your Perfect And Sweet And Lovely Darth Nox That Much Just So That Characters From Song Of Ice And Fire Game Of Thrones Could Shine On?)My Dear ffdrake!:3 A-anyway!:3Thanks!:3Again!:3My Dear!:) |
Ser Dinadan chapter 2 . 2/23/2020 Oh man, this looks like it might be even more epic than IATB. Can't wait to see where you take this. |