|Reviews for Gamer of Blades|
| Ahtu chapter 8 . 12/3
Do you lack ALL self-awareness? How would Rika know what he looks like? She only heard him speak before, and even that only in passing.
I am forced to reiterate, you can't separate character perspectives to save your life. Hell the souls of everyone you care about, and your own could be on the line, and you still would most likely fail at it. I mean these are not points that are hard to keep separate, but you can't stop failing at them.
| AK525052 chapter 1 . 12/2
Oh god the info dump
| Ahtu chapter 6 . 12/1
So many blatant logical fallacies just being skipped right over... Since when do they know about his inventory? Since when would they just nod and accept that? It would make it blatant that he's holding out on them still, among other things.
How can you be so blind to all this? It's obvious that all the characters are a hivemind, YOU. They all know what all the others know, and the MC just knows how the game works somehow - Because it's all a fkn hivemind, YOU! You can't make real separate story characters to save your life, you can't stop making them all share the same memory and viewpoints. And you can't stop making the MC a super-boring Gary Stue. I was hoping to see improvement, but I'm reconsidering the possibility of that. It's NOT really improving in the long run.
| Ahtu chapter 4 . 12/1
"What is them"? Holy shit! Cmon, you can at least do better than that. How does one stack so many linguistic errors into such a short sentence?
Replace it with one of these pronto: "What is that?!", "What are they?!", "What is it? Is it them?!", "What are those?!"
There was countless ways to get this right, and you found every way to get it wrong somehow, it beggars belief. Were you actually trying to make that as egregious as you could?
Honestly, one would expect that you actually bothered to get it all right for once, in such a climactic moment(the real start of the story, and the initial wave of panic). But instead you actually made it worse than ever before. Speaking of words like "than" and "then", stop mixing them up. Start using grammarly, as if you were aware of how much you needed it!
The best that can be said, is that the story writing quality improves on overall, as the chapter progresses. That is pretty important, but somewhat overshadowed by those gaping holes. If the trend continues, I suppose it can make up for it.
| MojoTheSpaceMonkey chapter 1 . 12/1
I don't like to dump on fellow authors because it kills the creativity process. I do think you might want to look at exactly what you're trying to accomplish though. Most gamer fics only make a few changes a chapter to show progression without being overwhelming.
I won't lie, chapter 1 was rough. All those words and all i retained was that he died, is now in the HOTD world, and has swords and magic. You need a professional stats team to track the rest. I hope your writing style evolves as you go but i think I'm moving on to a new story.
| Ahtu chapter 3 . 11/30
He's an absolute Gary Stue, and it makes little to no sense whatsoever... The swords are indestructable, yes(and how he got his hands on that in the start - That's another full on Gary Stue moment) - But that does not mean he would be capable of blocking the blow of a troll? Since when was it indicated that his telekinesis was on that level? And if it is, why does he even need to use them as shields? He could literally just use in the troll's clubs as they swing down towards him, and it would work just as well.
This is not a gamer fic really, it's just a full on Gary Stue fic... Everything works out for him at every turn, for no reason whatsoever, because it just does. You don't even adequately explain how it does, let alone justify it in any story-writing sense...
A gamer story is about a character steadily improving and overcoming situations - But this guy doesn't really put any serious thought into anything, or work to really overcome something - He just strolls through life, and everything that would be convenient just falls at his feet. The gamer system just serves as an excuse to hand it all to him, rather than actually serving its role as a story, plot and character progression device. This is just empty, the stats, skills, levels and abilities in the end kind of mean nothing but maybe cosmetics... It's as hollow as a pay-to-win game.
At this point one might as well skip all of it, and just see if you do anything interesting with the characters and story eventually. You've ruined the gamer element for me, and I hate it.
| Ahtu chapter 2 . 11/30
Please make use of grammarly and fix your chapters... Shit like "causally topics", makes me first have to reread it, and then cringe so hard I almost drop it on the spot. These things are FAAAR too common to be acceptable.
| Ahtu chapter 1 . 11/30
Never thought I'd say this but: Holy shit stop pushing 500 thousand different things on him before the story has even started, and get started on the actual story! I don't mind gamer elements at all, but this is like reading ALL the game mechanics of a game before you try the game and can find out if it's even worth your time or not! Limit the amount of gamer info dump in the start at least somewhat, and get the story moving. You're already making grammatical mistakes that ensures this won't be overly relevant before it gets some story-context to measure up against.
PS. In some of these cases it's just blatantly bad. Like uisng the word "connect" instead of "detect." Some of them I've overlooked, but others are just too 'out there' to ignore. They mess up entire paragraph's entirely, and force you to reread the already tiring amounts of pure info-dump you've pushed into this first chapter.
| evilstatistic19 chapter 23 . 11/27
Good chapter looking forward to the next one
| Derpysense chapter 23 . 11/26
It’s been a while buts it’s still just as good.
| lonetigar20 chapter 23 . 11/25
Awesome can't wait for more :)
| Seimika chapter 23 . 11/24
Noticed at the beginning he was afraid from being away for so long in that special Id ..did you forget you made it freeze time like the world's he's not in so no time passes till he gets back?
| Seimika chapter 22 . 11/24
It's to bad you plan on ending this after the next new world, though I can understand the constant use of the class system would be a drain mentally, though you could just have the level 200 bonus be no more class system and just let him learn stuff naturally or via the shop.
| Guest chapter 23 . 11/23
Umbrella Corporation is either gonna get absorbed or destroyed lol
Hope he absorbs it to get their resources and influence
They are probably the only group of people that self sustainable
They are practically a nation now that they spread the zombie virus through out the globe
So controlling that he would be able to be king of the world lol
Maybe make China or Japan his base of operations
Slowly get more population from the halfbloods , Muggleborns, magical creatures and beings
It would be super awesome if the umbrella corporation lost control of the virus so it could evolve into something super evolution steroids on plant and animal life
Make the world to look like skull island and Jurassic park
Maybe have the humans evolve a bit too like being dosed with the super soldier serum?
It’s honna be super fun to make a empire with his harem
Can’t wait for him to go to one piece
Get those sweet sweet devil fruit samples
It would be awesome if Gate (the anime) would open up in Kichirous HSOTD universe too after He rules a big portion of japan
And he could make the opening permanent
Would be hilarious if the zombie virus mutated with magic XD
Freakin zombie dragon spewing zombie making poison spray
| GoPoe chapter 10 . 11/23
Honestly, I still can't get over the fact you gave him Vegito hair I can't imagine it looking anything but ridiculous. Also, why does he blush so much is he a sheltered maiden who doesn't know anything about the opposite sex?