Reviews for Overlord : The Demon Empress
Jonh137 chapter 10 . 6/6/2020
The story itself is good I can tell but there is quite a few typos that’d I’d be willing to help with if you’d like to PM me about proofreading
Buujack chapter 10 . 6/6/2020
I have a feeling that Lupu would have fun with the perverted ranger. Hoping that he doesn't end traumatized... Too much (he he he)

Btw, a second group of female adamantite adventurers would attract the attention of Blue Roses isn't? (Lakyus having one of the black Knight swords would catch Galadriel attention, and one of the ninja twins could get... "Interested" in either Galadriel, Lupu or Narberal)

Wondering how PDL would react when he learns how her influence preceded her arrival

Just for curiosity, how was Sukuzi-chan in real life? You established that she was beautiful, but could you describe her former, human features?
NJMR IV chapter 10 . 6/6/2020
Hey so uh, fic is pretty good but the constant typos kinda throw me off. Do you use an online translator? Just kinda wished that the writing was a bit more polished.
AivaK chapter 10 . 6/6/2020
I'd be interested to become your proofreader(if interested PM me), and those different versions of the story seem unique and interesting, if you decide to upload them, I'd be sure to give them a read.

- Aivae
Fairest6040 chapter 1 . 6/6/2020
I really like the story but you may want to slow down writing and uploading so you don’t burn yourself out
AivaK chapter 9 . 6/6/2020
Great work! Awesome uploading rate, love it!

- Aivae
reyagusty chapter 9 . 6/5/2020
Too short.. Haha.
Guest chapter 2 . 6/3/2020
The story needs a bit of proofreading, but it’s looking very interesting so far! I can’t wait to see the impact her socializing with other guilds that have been confirmed to make it to the new world creates. That, and the fact that the kid will probably algo get transported and make her fame grow through the legend of the swords.
Buujack chapter 9 . 6/5/2020
Well, some little Theocracy is going to have a colossal teocratic war when Nigun starts moving.

And nice to see Rubedo as an operative.
Guest chapter 1 . 6/3/2020
I enjoy this
Guest chapter 1 . 6/3/2020
Love it
AivaK chapter 8 . 6/5/2020
To be honest, an amazing read. I can't wait to see where it goes. You've got me hooked, that's for sure. So please continue on taking me on this wild ride, have a brilliant day, and don't overwork yourself, writing should be enjoyable, there should be no other way.

- Aivae
Buujack chapter 8 . 6/5/2020
So Everyone knows her as the ancient one? Nice.

But shouldnt bring her a lot of problems with the Dragon Lords? They can (and it's very possible that they do) see her as the progenitor of all the players (aka the source of their downfall). That will make a full mobilization against her

However, unexpected that the Slane Theocracy has became one of her greatest (unknowingly) allies (Maybe the Karnasus city-state alliance too, thanks to the Black Knight).

One bit of advice: slow down the pace. I feel you are rushing it.
Buujack chapter 6 . 6/5/2020
I see a lot of potential, especially because she is well known by the players that arrived before her (what an interesting scenario)

Like someone else said, you don't have to repeat the events like in the light novel (the reunion with the guardians, Gazef travelling to Carne Village and Nigún pursuing him). We already know that. I suggest to rewrite that and put some additional data, your original input.

Also, she is much stronger than Ainz (she is a World champions after all). How did that affected Nazarick, aside from having 42 world Items? The guild dungeon should be stronger isn't it? (A stronger player could help her guild tackle more dangers than what canon Ainz could do, and that could show with more NPC and dungeon features)
ShiftHeart14 chapter 6 . 6/4/2020
Quite nice, at least up till now, good introduction to the main character and the Nazarick cast seems like the true ones in speech and interactions. Though I would recommend not sticking too close to the original, I mean you have already established differences between Momonga and the new mc in terms of personality (really nice moment of vulnerability and what was a very realistic depiction when Ygdrassil was ending) and in race (the feeling of regality in opposition to the dulled emotion of an undead) so in spite of the similar beggining you could really make it go quite differently as time goes by (and I must admit that i personally don't like when it's simply a carbon copy of the original with a different name).
Also the idea of the yuri/mixed harem is quite good taking into account magic and the fact that they are not exactly human (the opposite in fact) but in order for that to happen the protagonist should have to grow far closer to her servants something that I think could be a great idea since you've already established that a great motivator for her is actually loneliness.
Of course that everything I wrote was just my opinion and at the end it is your story so you can carry on as you please.
Well in summary I liked very much this idea and I see much potential in it, you write very well and with almost no typing nor grammatical error (which when compared to a majority of this site is already saying something) so I hope to read more soon and sorry for leaving such a long and winded review.
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