|Reviews for First Storm|
| patmepal chapter 1 . 6/16
| Cashlin Snow chapter 1 . 6/8
These sweet one-shots are so endearing. I just love how well you write!
| NoAccountGuy chapter 1 . 6/8
Aw, this is so cute! Wonderful job on this!
I would just like to point out that when it says, "Tails began to laugh, too, when a bright shock of lightning flashed in the sky," the wording makes it sound like Tails starts laughing once the lightning flashes, instead of him laughing BEFORE it hits and then being silenced because by it out of fear. ...Does that make sense?
You also seem to use a plentiful of commas, maybe try using "-" more (I believe they're called hyphens, but I'm not completely sure) and simply making the sentences shorter. I feel, personally, that using too many commas to expand the sentence makes them...clunkier to read? Not as smooth, essentially. Take this little excerpt, for example: "It was still raining hard, but the worst of it seemed to be over, and Sonic spoke up again after a bit, when Tails had quieted to miserable sniffles in his arms." I would simply adjust it to: "It was still raining hard, but the worst of it seemed to be over. Sonic spoke up again after a bit, when Tails had quieted to miserable sniffles in his arms," because the previous version felt like it was dragged on for too long, making it not...smooth(?) to read.
Of course, I may have noticed these because it differs from my writing style, who knows? You also said you wrote this real quick to get it out of your system, which I completely understand! All in all, I enjoyed this very much and thought it was very cute and overall well written! I didn't think the ending was too abrupt either, and I loved the adorable interactions between Sonic and Tails.
(Oh dear...I did not mean write that much! Apologies for my rambling)
| SharpDragonKlaw chapter 1 . 6/8
This was adorable! Its showed just how good a big bro Sonic is to Tails! I especially enjoyed the little brotherly roughhousing moment they had, just playing around and being kids.
| Fiobri chapter 1 . 6/8
I'm 'aww'ing now. So cute and heartwarming. I love the trust that's between these two. Thanks for writing, I've been looking for something like this! It's well written too!
| SuperTailsFan0812 chapter 1 . 6/8
Awwww. Poor Tails, This story was so cute. I too love the friendship between Tails and Sonic.
I wrote a story that involves Tails' fear. It is Called Sonic-X: Astraphobia and it was my first ever fic. Please go check it out if you have the chance, Just warning you there will be lots of Crying.
I must admit when Tails was fluffed up when he heard the thunder, that got me good as I share the same fear but not as serve as Tails though.
Anyways, here are my thoughts: The start of the chapter was written amazingly and the part where Sonic met Tails was so good and well written.
The part when Tails and Sonic were playfully arguing was very very cute. And the part when Tails leapt at Sonic was adorable too.
The part when Sonic was comforting Tails was so sweet that it really melted my heart.
The scene when Tails was sleeping melted my heart too.
This is your best one-shot yet! :)
I can't wait for the next chapter of Alien's Hiding In The Garage and Generic Beginnings.
| Ieju chapter 1 . 6/8
This story is amazing, and I'm confused as to why this doesn't have reviews yet.
Honestly, this gives me Rising Star flashbacks.
Anyway, keep up the good work!