Reviews for City of Angels (SYOT OPEN)
KiraTheKittenCutie chapter 1 . 11/4/2020
Are you continuing this? If so are there any spots available?
BradiLain chapter 2 . 7/6/2020
Yes! I was so pumped for this chapter, I feel like a lot of the recent tributes I've sent in have been in the latter districts so I've had to wait to see my babies in action, but that is not the case here! Dio and Demi, geeeeeez, at least I won't forget which ones are the D1s with their names being so similar lmaooo.

I like Dio quite a bit actually. He's so right there in the middle of a crazy brainwashed Career and a seemingly sweet guy, which I love. It's nice to have characters that are more in the grey than being inherently good or bad. I love that his hair is his defining feature, that's such a mood. I can already see the sponsors sending him dry shampoo in the arena lmfao.

Demi's my hoe. I don't have a lot to say because I really don't want to ramble about my love for my own character, but I think that she and Dio will be an interesting pair. I wonder how he'll feel about her sticky little plan to play up a romance for the cameras. I love her to death, you got so many parts of her spot on. Can't wait to see more of the D1 pair.

Mine: Demeter (D1F)
Like: Dio (D2M)
Neutral:
Dislike:
Athena12 chapter 1 . 7/4/2020
Do you still need tributes?
I would like to give you one
Marie464 chapter 2 . 7/5/2020
Dio: I love this boy! He doesn't seem r really look like the average career and that makes him stand out. He's truly a really good friend and I'm so glad he volunteered instead of Kyanite. I wonder how the other careers will take it... that he wasn't the chosen volunteer. This dynamic will be interesting to read. An androgynous career is actually great, and he's way to precious for these games but it's what he wants.

Demeter 'Demi': "she was the best and she knew it" that basically sums her up. She definitely craves validation and attention. She wants to be the center of the universe and thinks she deserves it. Both of the tributes are confident but each in their own way. Demi knows she will win and that there is nothing stopping her from her dream. I wonder how the "relationship" with Dio will go... probably not that great considering he will probably just focus on the games and find her annoying but you never know.

-Tribute Chart-
Mine: Ada Wellsworth (D5F), Olive Flint (D7F)
Love:
Like:
Somewhere between like and neutral: Dio Walkhouse (D1M)
Neutral: Demeter 'Demi' Seoh (D1F)
Dislike:
Hate:
Love to hate:
Athena127 chapter 1 . 7/5/2020
Omg, I love the story!
I'm from Germany, so my englisch might not be the best, but i would like to create a character, if you're in need of one.
Athena127
Oliverhgd chapter 2 . 7/4/2020
Really liking the district one tributes, they were written really well and you did a great job of it. I can't wait to read more and see how they interact with both each other and the rest of the tributes.
AuroraMiri25 chapter 2 . 7/3/2020
Oh my goodness, Dio! My heart! What a SWEETIE, ahh. The hair flip! That's my favorite. So many exclamation marks, but I really do like him. I'm so excited to see all the Careers together, and their dynamic. And Kyanite! What a friend. What a softie. Love that. I'm super excited to see more of Dio.

Demi Demi Demi... How exciting! I saw some... interesting things about her in the Discord lol, excited to read her for myself. Ew, how old is that man? No, Demi, no! I mean... Okay, you do you haha! Maybe he's not that old? Probably not. Ahem. I LOVE that Demi learned the video word for word. That's iconic. Everything about her is haha! Oooh I wonder if Dio will cooperate with the whole relationship thing. And I just know Agentille's feeling threatened right now loool. So excited for that dynamic. I love Dio, I... am a little scared of Demi, but she's intriguing me with the whole arcade thing, and the thing with her family. Very excited to see all these Tributes interacting, and how the alliances will turn out. One thing that I would say - and this is me being on the more nit-picky side - be careful with your tenses, and that all the verbs are in one tense or another, like "walks" vs. "walked." I didn't see a lot of those, just a few little inconsistencies. And I hope I didn't offend you at all with that, you know how much I love these Tributes, and the chapter lol. See you very soon, lovely chapter! :)
kremit1000 chapter 2 . 7/3/2020
GIRL YOU HAVE ME SHOOK WITH THE WRITING. I ALWAYS GO INTO D1 LIKE OH HERE WE GO AGAIN BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. You really showed the dynamics of district one really well. They are lowkey the worst lol.

Dio- So Dio is an absolutely amazing. I love that he's not like the typical career boy in terms of his looks. Most D1 boys are always that masculine make a girl (or guy really) swoon type. But oh honey. An androgynous career boy with long hair! That's so different and I adore him. His relationship with his friend is cool too, how he volunteered for the supposed to be volunteer haha. I usually don't root for career tributes but he is absolutely precious. I'm excited to see how he'll react once Demi starts working on him haha. Hopefully he'll be smart enough to not fall for her flirting. I'm sure she'll get someone edventually though.

Demi- A seductress? Okay queen, she'll be alot of fun to watch. I can totally see her manipulating one of the boys into being her bodyguard in the areana. She's such a perfect bittersweet career. I'm gonna love hating her once her brutality comes out, which I'm sure it will of course. She reminds me of the more evil version of a character I read about in an SYOT YEARS ago. I forget the author but she did a series of amazing ones and in one story the D8 girl was a prostitute who seduced one of the careers of protecting her until like the top ten when she killed him believe. Crazy story. Crazy arena too

Here's my chart so far
Love: Dio
Like: Demi
Nuetral:
Dislike:
Hate:
dirtwolf chapter 2 . 7/3/2020
oh. my. god. i. loved. this. chapter. i absolutely adore the way you portrayed Dio. you seriously did him justice and i knew without a doubt that i put him in good hands. i loved how you included the important bits of his backstory and how he came to be in the current position that he's in. the reactions he got at the reaping from everyone were so reflective of the character of d1 and the great deal of respect toward the social practices and etiquette surrounding careers. i am in love with Demi as well. she is endlessly entertaining and has the perfect balance of traditional career characteristics and unique traits as an individual. i got such a kick out of reading her POV and seeing how she viewed Dio. this chapter really was such a fantastic read.

halloumi, you really are such a talented writer! i look forward to the coming chapters and meeting all of the other tributes. i know that every chapter will be just as awesome as this one with you behind the wheel. thank you so much for accepting my character and going above and beyond with him! you rock!
kremit1000 chapter 1 . 7/3/2020
So I didn't reveiw the first chapter yet although I read it last night and submitted a character so here we go! I'm super excited and I love the writing so far!

Cassandra is certainly... A capitolite. A good game maker who seems "empassioned" to her craft. The whole idea of imagining them as Angels is lowkey disturbing but like in such a capital like way. Like it's putting these tributes in such an idol like position but still playing with their lives. Messed up.

Tiago seems like a sweet guy! I wonder how he won his games though the landslide makes it seem almost like he won by accident nearly? I feel bad for him, as I do with all the more sympathetic victors. I'm sure he'll be a great mentor

AND OH MY SANTINO IS THE WORST. I USUALLY KINDA LIKE THE WEIRNESS OF THE ESCORTS BUT HE IS JUST THE WORSE LOL

also I am so excited for this arena! Is it gonna be like heaven?! Believe it or not I almost wrote an SYOT all the way back in middleschool with that kind of theme. Oh what a mess it would have been.
CreativeFanatic chapter 1 . 6/28/2020
Interesting to see the different viewpoints through the POVS. Your writing is great, it flowed well and was descriptive but not overdone. I’ll be sending in my D9 Female through discord!
silversshade chapter 1 . 6/28/2020
whoop whoop, exciiitement!

i like cassandra! not too sure if i should tbh "send her angels off to heaven" ok u weirdo lol, but the idea of a head gm procrastinating made me giggle. its a nice, normal touch to a character that could easily fall into the evil head gamemaker trope - she seems rather, human? but then the layers added to her - the blatant ignorance - oh what ever would we do without the capitol! cassandra babe, i hate to break it to u, but i think you might've fallen victim to some propaganda! just the arrogance that capitolites have is so funny to me. chefs kiss.

stan tiago! baddest bitch i love him. he's just nice, yanno? like a decent guy - i think he'll make an excellent mentor. the bit about sending penelope's family money was ):

oh santino. i feel like you're going to be a love to hate. like you're vile and brainwashed, but you're so funny (':

halloumi i love your writing, everything flows so well and i love the pacing. can't wait to read more!
dirtwolf chapter 1 . 6/27/2020
i loved this first chapter! you are such a wonderful writer! the flow of your sentences is impeccable and your descriptions of the scenes and characters paint such a vivid picture of exactly what is happening. i have no doubt that the entirety of this story will be just as awesome and immersive as this first chapter! i can't wait to see more from you! also, i absolutely adore Tiago. i support him with every fiber of my being, no doubt about it. amazing work!
BradiLain chapter 1 . 6/27/2020
Cassandra! Yes girl. I don't know too much about her but a green couch is a hell of a mood. Is it bad that I'm reading way too much into it? I'm going all English teacher, I'm like if this couch is green that needs to symbolize something lmao. I'm reading it as like freshness, rebirth. Rebirth fits really well with the angel theme. I never would've connected the dots between Los Angeles and City of Angels bc i'm straight up a dumb hoe, but I am living for it. I have so many thoughts in my head about what she could do - an abandoned city, a city in the clouds, a representation of heaven? I don't know. I'm living for it. Cassandra herself I really enjoy too because i feel like a lot of people take their gamemakers in inherently 'evil' ways to make them a classic villain, but she screams really neutral to me? Like, yeah, she's a gamemaker so she doesn't have her head totally on straight, but she doesn't seem like a snake to me. Maybe time will tell on that but so far she's got my stamp of approval.

Tiago seems like a sweet guy. I feel like a lot of Victors have the sentiment that he does - hating the Games, living with their nightmares. I enjoyed this brief introduction to him, although I would've loved to see him have a little bit more interaction with the world around him. He's very sympathetic, but I don't know if his desire to bring home a winner to District 12 will happen so soon after his own victory. Also, love the motif of angels being consistent and having a showing in his POV too. I'm a sucker for stuff like that. Haha

This escort gives me life. He is me. I love it. His outfit sounds horrendously garrish but you know what? I am no fashion expert and Santino clearly knows what he's doing. I like his vanity, I like how oblvious he is. I'd love if there were a few layers even deeper to him too, but I digress. It's all gucci to have a character that is just enjoyable to read and Santino scratches that itch for me. Love him.
Great little intro! Can't wait to see what you bring us next.
AuroraMiri25 chapter 1 . 6/26/2020
Oooh so exciting! Our gamemaker seems very enthusiastic, and I'm a little worried about that lol. But it looks like our Arena is going to be Los Angeles? I could be totally off with that, but it seems that way lol. And Tiago! So sad. These Victors kill me. Santino! Why would you waste a perfectly good crepe? So rude. Anyway, your writing is spot on and you're already building suspense! So excited to see what you do with this :) Have a great day!