|Reviews for Fullmetal Hero|
| ps2boy.zachary chapter 1 . 7/8
its ok but waiting for the next chapter of Naruto yamis favorite ghoul
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/5
Put kendo in Naruto harem
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/3
Apologies for the spelling errors in my lengthy review i wrote it late in the night and didn't really check it over but yea props to you for the code lyoko reference.
| revenant798 chapter 1 . 7/3
In all honesty I liked the first chapter it really got me wanting for the next but I have to agree with the other guy you already got 6 girls and you adding more that seems a little to much and I agree ab6him saying keep it to 3 or 4 but it's your story just suggestions
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2
1. 6 girls to your harem and you plan on adding more there either gonna be there for sex or sex theres no possible way to right them in as geniune love interests without doing way a large amount of chapters and going in depth for each indvidual girl and the time put towards that will generally take away from the larger narrative of the story even then generally every harem thats written usually focuses on girl over every one else im assuming that girl is mei so since the story has not gone past the first chapter yet i strongly advise that you minimize the harem amount so you don't either go through a burnout or ruin your story in the process if you want to bave everything manageable you should keep at 3 or at max 4.
2 having naruto use rokushiki techniques i hope their is an actual explanation for that humans in the one piece world and in the my hero world are vastly different they can train themselves to peak human at best in the my hero world any other increase strength is usually caused by way of quirk so im assuming this naruto has these superhuman martial arts techniques by scientfic modification as he seems to have a large degree of intelligence or by way secondary facet of a quirk kinda like how todorokis is a fusion quirk i hope theirs an explanation for that because that seems to be a glaring plothole i can't really get behind the idea of naruto obtaining this skillset by pure physcial training alone their has to be more to it.
for the code lyoko nod
4.i like that you felt it necessary to explain minatos fate by way of catching up too recovery girl but one aspect of suspense are things that go without saying if In the story theres kushina constantly throwing herself back into her hero work and naruto trying to improve himself and the interactions between the 2 characters leaves minato status as unknown or unexplained it builds curiosity in the reader and makes them question whats going on it builds up suspense for the next chapters it makes you questions these 2 characters motives and reasoning to keep pushing forward. this doesn't necessarily cripple your story to not go this route but it does leave with you less options right from the beginning and it might leave your readers partially uninterested. I can't say currently that minatos death has any impact but i can say you built up curiosity by being vauge on the 2 separate incidents that cost him his arms.
I can understand naruto having to work hard to understand his abilties by having to study in order to put his quirk too use. Overhauls and momos quirks bare extreme similarities for narutos. Momo can only create stuff by using fat from her body and she can only create what she understands as for chisaki his quirk is more along the lines of assembling and reassembling things he can change the shapes of objects by doing this as he is rebuilding them kind of like alchemy he can't necessarily change somethings fundmental makeup like changing lead to gold. Iw ould say narutos quirk is more like both of their abilities combined with a bit more versatility and the same restrictions as this uses up his stamina rather than fat in the body. I give you kudos for putting a restriction on narutos quirk instead making him extremely broken i do see him having trouble against certain students if it came down to it but again i hope that rokushiki thing gets cleared up.
Last but no least just a point on naruto's observational skill regarding all might and izuku i think bakugo was very suspicous of them since the first 2 episodes izuku and all might aren't really good at being discreet regarding thier meetings in the series and any friend of izukus would underatand how terrible a liar is for a narrative standpoint in bnha series they don't really question izukus abilities his closeness to all might or too much really i think any character that just oays attention enough would probably put 2 and 2 together like how all for one did thats all i have to say other then these nitpickings i believe your story has potential but it ulitmately comes down to the goal of your protagonist, the writing, and the amount of chaoters your willing to right theres alot to cover regarding your story so i understand why this might take a bit but a piece of advice if your story has not reached oast a 25 chapter mark and you take really lengthy times between updates its usually seen as your giving up or you may not have the time to put forward towards your story good luck.
| The lord of fate chapter 1 . 6/30
Can you please update Ren Phenex: Flames of Disaster
| issei chapter 1 . 6/30
add mirko too oppai
| WhiskeyPeak chapter 1 . 6/30
Great opening chapter, like Naruto’s quirk and love that Mei is in the pairing.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29
I really like this story. A mix of naruto, my hero academia, Fullmetal alchemist, and one piece(at least I think because of the 'shave')
| Skull Flame chapter 1 . 6/29
- Naruto having the powers of Edward Elric, in the MHA world. Sounds interesting.
- Mei's habit of calling babies to her creations will make some amusing moments.
| Sageofchaos chapter 1 . 6/28
hope to read more.
| pittsacee chapter 1 . 6/28
| Tanya von Degurechaff chapter 1 . 6/28
lol, OP naruto really likes to faint for some reason
| eniox27 chapter 1 . 6/28
Good stuff but the shave and iron body thing are one piece techs right? If so mind explaining how they are alchemy made, I know iron body could be by altering iron in his body but the shave?
| Reptil chapter 1 . 6/28
Awesome so far keep it up. Is the diff between him and overhaul that overhaul can destroy and combine stuff that he touches more flexibly while naruto can do the same but also change what his stuff is made up of. Like overhaul could take a round rock and turn it into a Spiked rock, naruto could take the same rock and turn it into spiked glass. Can naruto use his quirk with his feet or is he limited to his arms. Can he transmute his arms while they are attached. Can he affect non solid matter like fire water and air.