|Reviews for A Different Kind of War|
| Simianpower chapter 2 . 4/27
Goblins, will reading, alliance. UGH!
And the Minister for Magic, the most powerful member of the government, uses a BAR for a private meeting? Is the Leaky Cauldron the only building in town that has rooms? Does he not have his own office somewhere? Honestly, that's like the President of the United States coming out to see some prominent member of society and taking them to a roadside inn for a chat where he shares state secrets. The whole minister thing fell kinda flat. I prefer the canon version; this one's too over-the-top.
Finally, nearly every paragraph has multiple sentences awkwardly stapled together with commas. Usually they're the first sentences in the paragraph, but not always.
| Simianpower chapter 1 . 4/27
"I hope you don't mind, dear, but Professor Dumbledore gave everyone in the castle a copy of your key because, well, he can and your opinion on the matter is irrelevant. We only mention it after the action's done, because none of us actually respect you as a person, you see. We just demand that you protect us from the natural result of this kind of arrogance, and expect you to do so with a smile. You're sixteen now, so you're marginally useful, but certainly not worthy of being treated as an actual person."
It's Ginevra, not Ginerva.
Watch the verb tense shifts (sometimes in a single sentence) and run-on sentences. Commas are not periods and shouldn't be used as such. There are several extra or missing apostrophes, assorted grammar mix-ups and word misusages (e.g. tomb used where tome was meant). It's not horrible, but one or two mistakes every couple of paragraphs.
It's nice that everyone's presented here with warts and all. Fleur's an arrogant bitch, Ginny a bigot, Hermione a jealous swot who cannot stand being upstaged in anything scholastic, and Harry an impulsive dick. Too frequently the character or characters at the heart of a story are presented as perfect. There MAY have been some exaggeration of everyone's flaws, but if so it's not by much. I do hope that the deviations from canon that we saw here snowball quickly, because book 6 is one of the worst.
| deathlyhallow0 chapter 20 . 4/22
Love this story hope you update soon!
| Pander II chapter 20 . 4/22
Oh boy. Dumbledore is truly facing a lot at the end if his life. I loved the inner-battle Harry keeps having as he slides into more and more usage of the unforgivables. Your explanation of the way Inperio works feels really good and it's a bit of worldbuilding a certain canon author never mentions if i recall correctly. I believe I'm all caught up now. Just in time if you're to be believed atleast. I look forward to seeing s grand old reunion and for that thing Fleur "needed to do". You've got me anxiously hooked. Maybe enough I'll even read and review the next chapter you put put in a reasonable time. /shrug who knows. Thank again for the time and care you take with writing Ajax.
| Pander II chapter 19 . 4/22
Oh boy. Harry and Fleur playing house? The twists and turns you have are amazing Ajax. Espionage is a lovely business and I can't wait to see what Dursley finds out. As always your dialouge is top notch and I quite enjoyed the accounting goblins. I've also never met an anti-trope I love more then the goblins. Thanks for writing this Ajax. You take all the time you need to write, you're such a busy guy.
| Pander II chapter 18 . 4/22
You've packed a lot of emotion into this one. I was wrong with the red-haired man being Bill, I should've thought that it was too simple answer for you. The note, the thing that Fleur has to do. I've got a sad suspicion it isn't quite what I'd hope it'd be. Thank you for writing this Ajax. You're one of the best at building up to events.
| Pander II chapter 17 . 4/22
The cliffhanger is real. I'll have to be quick here to read more. I love how you've got the pair of them going around searching for clues. The Ogden dialouge felt well done and Harry not being able to tell of he was lied to was a good touch. I can't wait to be tortured with reading Bill's name some more. Thanks for the clever dialouge Ajax. You provide a wonderful form of escapism.
| Pander II chapter 16 . 4/22
Two kissing scenes in 16 chapters? You spoil us too much, or you've got something truly wicked planned. Knowing you as I do, I'll go pop some popcorn. The breaking down of what sort of felt like Fleur’s pedestal is interesting to see. I probably had it built up before and seeing the as Fleur put it, "human" side of her is great and nothing really feels out of place. The feelings are real, (as much as they can be in fiction atleast) and with those come the confusion, complications and the consequences. I've got a few more chapters and then I'll be caught up. I haven't given my routine apology for taking so long because I feel like the words have lost meaning now. I'll just have to keep complimenting you as compensation. Thanks again Ajax for doing the hard part so, so well.
| Pander II chapter 15 . 4/22
Quick note: I love how Harry mentioning Fleur being a veela took until chapter 15.
Enter stage right Gellert. The pacing of this chapter stuck out to me. The pair were chased away and I felt like I was just managing to keep up. The feeling of safety at the end was amplified especially due to the pacing. The reprieve from the chase for the conversation between Dumbledore and Gellert was well timed. I'm forget of I've read the next chapter or not, but I can't wait. Thanks for sharing your brilliance Ajax.
| Pander II chapter 14 . 4/22
I believe in closing in on new content. I believe agter next chapter was where you took your break to work on the outline. One of the things I wanted to comment on is, how you make everything lovely to read. You blend dialouge with understandable inner thoughts to perfection. You use this mix to add bias to the story and it gives you characters a lot of life. I don't feel like I could've necessarily commented fully on it a few months ago, but that balance can be very hard to write and the way you write it astounds me.
The kissing scene was lovely. I'd joke you need to do another fixing of a poll in Flowerpot, but I don't really feel like you'll need to. The buildup, as Dumbledore said the stolen glances, made the kiss feel very significant. The attack of the Burrow coming right after should have some lovely representation as a punishment for "the forbidden" kiss. Thanks again Ajax for your dedication in writing.
| Pander II chapter 13 . 4/22
I had thought I already got to this chapter review wise. I must've read it atleast 5 times already. Your characterization of Fleur deserves nothing but praise and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. I loved the dialouge were Dumbledore said, "I possess the same heart that once fell in love and a pair of eyes to match." It feels like such an odd thing. but I'm not sure people think of Dumbledore’s love life on a day-to-day basis. Thanks for writing this Ajax. I do enjoy your writing immensely.
| AviciiFrvr chapter 20 . 4/21
This fic is extremely well written. Looking forward ro the next chapter.
| qjhaynes chapter 2 . 3/27
I loved the bit with Shiverbane and the coin! Did you get inspiration from the Set Barristan quote on Targaryen madness?
| gomez36000 chapter 14 . 3/23
| gomez36000 chapter 13 . 3/17
i choose to believe the book was Sadlaska. nothing will change my mind.