Damn, these chapters are so long, I'm having trouble keeping my reviews brief... eh, fuggit.
Oh, also- HE'S BACK, EVERYONE! MR. PSYCHO HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! This either means his personality was moved to one of the other cast members, or Hayate's lurking somewhere on the station. If I'm being honest, I kinda hope it's the latter. I was surprised when I realized his name wasn't on the cast list, since he was such an important character for the original story. Only question is, if he's making a comeback, how will his relationship with Alice change? They didn't Meet Cute this time, so I'd assume there's a low chance for romance.
Oh yeah, speaking of Alice, her backstory is slightly altered. Well, more like it has more focus this time around. In the original, it mostly seemed to serve as a dramatic connection between her and Hayate, with the occasional reference to her asylum days. Here, we actually get to see some serious, deep-seated trauma. Sweet.
Haha sexy fanservice time except oh no Bridgette has tragic backstory syndrome too. Sad.
Man, Kosaku's such a cool guy, it's no wonder all the dude's want him. Well, okay, Jin only seems to want him for his body, but regardless. He's really just this cast's gentle giant character, isn't he? I mean, that's what I expected, but still. One of my favourites, from the newbies, so far.
Honestly, I'm hoping Rene survives for at least a little while. His original appearance really did him dirty, especially since he got executed for nothing. Since Jin seems to recognize the idea that he's not planning to strike right away, hopefully everyone's more hesitant of voting for him simply because of appearances. Especially since they all die if they get it wrong this time around.
I'm just imagining everyone's reactions when they check their Monopads and see the new rule: "Don't commune with the dead, please." Shuhei's would undoubtedly be the funniest.

Everyone: Stop trying to start fights/confront Monokuma, you're gonna get yourself or someone else killed.

Scrappy: (）︵

In all seriousness, I'm glad to see people are calling out my fighty boy as too fighty and are trying to help him not get himself killed. Hopefully some of it will stick, but I can make no promises.

Sorry I haven't been leaving any reviews myself, I've been occupied with real life stuff for a while and haven't really found the time to get things done as much as I'd like. I've got the chance now, though, and I will take it!

In general, I'm happy to see this lines up with the rest of your work of being really good. The writing is good, the characters are interesting, and I just can't wait to see what happens next, even though I know I have to. When the next chapter comes, I'll be sure to read it!

I was among those that thought the mask might belong to Mr. Psycho. I'm curious who will fill that role with Hayate not here. Or, if he still exist like Giselly and is still Mr. Psycho, what exactly is going on with the missing mask, and why it was there in the first place. Whatever it turns out to be, I'm sure it'll be interesting.

I like getting to see Amanda at work, though I think I'm already starting to worry about her. That mention of the smile becoming a bit more forced just sort of...doesn't sit well with me, you know? Hopefully it won't actually get too bad, and she's able to talk out her own issues with someone, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Nerai and Shuhei talking about Mr. Psycho. I already went over my thoughts on him, so the duo. With Nerai being a part of Interpol and Shuhei being skilled in so many different areas of science, I feel like this was team up that could've been expected, but I'm still excited to see what happens from it.

Hollie continues to show how she knows business and knows it well! Showing what the product is like just enough to get people interested, and having only one session free of charge before they have to start paying. Not sure about actually saying that out loud, but at least she's honest. And now I'm worried about Bridgette as well. The scar is worrying enough, but then leaving after that mention of BDSM. Did something happen to her with it, I wonder? Again, we'll have to wait and see, but I am expecting some sort of explanation for it, and I'm sure it will not be a pretty one.

Then, another child I'm worried about! Yippee! But seriously, I'm not that surprised that some of how Kikurin acts is, well, an act. While it was possible for it to be real, her actual profession sort of gave it away. Another person that might need to see Amanda for self-esteem issues if she thinks she needs emotionally attach herself to people just to survive, though at this rate, I'm not sure if that's actually going to happen.

But oooooh! Is this the start of a crush I see? Maybe I'm reaching, but the interaction between Tim and Kosaku was cute, especially with Gabe and Saiko egging him on. Robotic wingmen make the best wingmen, apparently!

I would be remissed if I didn't note my boy doing exactly what I expected him to do, trying to start a fight with the unfriendly neighborhood asshole. I'm glad to see him make friends, but I'm even more excited to see him make some enemies. Raise that tension! And, thank you Kasumi and Jin for keeping Scrappy from doing something stupid, you two are very appreciated.

Finally, my favorite segment! Frida, Galexialyn, and Daniel! Questions about who, exactly, came before this group, based on the ashes and blood Galexialyn found? What happened to them that made Monokuma didn't want getting discovered? More is revealed about Frida, proving she's a lot smarter than she looks, even if she still may be a bit too trusting. And, most important question of all...Daniel, are you okay? Is the morgue the only place you can feel comfortable sleeping in? If so, your weirdness levels have officially surpassed Noelle. Congratulations!

Anyway, another good chapter, I'll be happy when the next one comes!

It seems my serial killer persona is making a return! How wonderful! And Shuhei and Nerai seems to have a good understanding with each other for the moment, I wonder how that will play out? Monokuma's first motive is on the verge of revelation, what's it gonna be? What's it gonna BE?! Can't wait to find out!

Heya!

This is gonna be a much shorter review than last time, still I think you deserve one for the amazing work you and the Hands do!

First off, I said it already in Discord, but that 8th rule is incredibly worrying! Only the first killer will be considered the blackened and the following ones would neither be punished or rewarded? Hmm, very interesting! Sounds like a great way for a murderer to either continue causing chaos (like in SoT) or for one to get a redemption arc/character development! Or heck, what if the cast takes advantage of this rule to kill a psychopath like Dylan without consequences...*thinking emoji* I'm already looking forward to see how this will be implemented in the story!

That scene between Amanda, Kikuko and Kosaku was adorable! Man, Amanda emanates such strong mom energy! Well that's no surprise knowing her talent, but still, wonder who of her or Haruto would make the better parent... I do want her plushie Cookie though, those eyebrows, hehe. Do we have the return of the family trio? Mommy Amanda, Big Bro Kosaku and Lil Sis Kikuko? Though like my sister Poomi said, I can't help but feel like Kikuko is faking somehow...Well she is an actress... But more importantly, that slate-grey mask! Is that... Mr. Psycho's mask? In any case I don't feel anything good about that mask... Inb4 this mask has a similar effect to the stone mask in JoJo by giving them superpowers and making them evil!

Really enjoyed that scene between Kaiyo, Bridgette and Jingai! Jin sure has cemented himself as being one of my favorite new ocs! I just love his energy! Aah, I wanna join their pajama party too! And, as Poomi said, Kaiyo sure loves to ramble... Hopefully I'm just being paranoid and that it's just a quirk of hers...But yeah, I agree with her, man, it's just the first day and y'all already talking about crushes and stuff? XD Killing games are the last places I'd try to find love, but some people gotta release stress in different ways I guess...

Mmm, I'm getting the feeling that Konyu doesn't have the most delightful past either... Her pragmatic and (obviously) materialistic nature gives me the feeling that she didn't grew out in a very privileged household and had to fend for herself to survive...Although I could be totally wrong and she just loves money, lol. Curious to see how her plans and Rene's are gonna affect the future events...Boy, it's like we're playing musical chairs in that briefing room, very ominous, oooh.

Pffft, that scene with Shiori and the bra X'D What the heck are you trying to do, Shiori? I bet that's Alice's bra, haha. And then, Galexialyn appears and offers her a magical plastic surgery so she'd fit that bra, lmao I was laughing out loud while reading that scene! And then, as if that scene wasn't absurd enough, Noelle appears out of a dryer machine! Meow~ I love her, she's definitely another one of my favorite new ocs, she has the best lines! But man, imagine if she dies in the dryer machine, who would be blamed for her death? Galexialyn who activated the machine? Nyaelle as a darwin-esque suicide death? Or Shiori who reduced the time, but still didn't stop it? I feel like the latter is more plausible, lol. I'm already prepared for her unavoidable suffering anyway. Most likely, at least one of the original FH cast is going to die, (or hell, they could be the first victim, just for more despair, I like to say I am prepared, but who am I kidding, I'm still gonna be devastated aha).

Gosh, Shuhei sure likes to ask a lot of personal questions, could you try to be less intense, lol! Though to be honest, I'd be curious too, I feel like Alice's family members are gonna become important in the future... Aaah, that scene between Timothy and Nessa was great, nice philosophical talk we got here, and I want a room in space tooo (although without the killing game, please)

Loved that cooking scene between Frida, Scrappy-doo (I'm always going to call him that from now on, I'm sorry) and Daniel! Haha, that carolina reaper chocolate, it reminds me of all those spicy food challenges I used to watch on Youtube! Scrappy-doo was adorable this chapter, lil hungry guy, it was a very wholesome moment, to see him and Frida become friends! Speaking of Frida, she was very cool this chapter, hopefully that was truly a joke and that she doesn't use blood as an ingredient in her chocolates... Though if that slate mask does turns out to be a JoJo-like mask, a bloody chocolate might be useful mmmmmmm

Anyway, that's all for now! Awesome start so far! As usual, wishing you lots of inspiration, and am very much looking forward to the next update :D

Another exquisite chapter from ma man. I kinda figured it would be Tim-Tim giving the nickname to the lovely AI with the handsome creator. Timothy is becoming one of my favorites now, I hope he can use technology to get him to end game. Nessa with the memory erased really leaves her vulnerable so I'm glad Tim was the one first introduced to her, so there wouldn't be any funny business.
My favorite interaction was probably the final one of the chapter between Frida, Daniel and himself. I especially like the chemistry between Frida and Daniel I hope to see more between them in the future...which means one will probably die soon... But I'm hoping for more chocolate all around xP

Awesome work all around Crit, my next review will be more detailed (And big brain plays) I can't wait!

gg
logal

Finally carved out some time to catch up with both stories, the new Tranquility looks great so far and I love the new cast members! Looking forward to seeing how this goes!

-JC

Holy Cow! I wish I had found this SYOC while you were still taking applications. The amount of time you put into each character is really impressive. There are some really fun interactions within these first few chapters. I particularly like Jingai. He's not what you'd expect out of his talent and his demeanor and lines are hilarious. I don't think there's a single character I'm not enjoying though. I can't wait to see where this goes from here.

(Also posting the comment here, hope you don't mind!)
Ok here I am, finally! Warning: this review is all over the place, is about the last chapter but jumps over the other chapters and is written in a stream of consciousness type of way. It’s getting late (but not too late) and I’m on fire. Metaphorical Red Bull cans surround me. Let’s go :D

Starting with Kikuko, I’m slightly suspicious of her somehow? She’s so chirpy and excitable, which is really cute, but it also makes me feel uneasy! (I feel like her backstory is going to be horrible, and her childishness is a front. Maybe she feels like it’s her duty to act like she used to because that was her talent and now that she’s grown up, she feels like she’ll be talentless if she doesn’t live up to her public image/their expectations?) Gaaah, theories, theories!

Kosaku is cute as always! I love his nickname Himbo, it definitely fits him like a glove. His innocence makes me think that he’s or used to be a very sheltered person. A gentle giant. 10/10

Amanda seems really nice and of course, motherly (that’s a given). I like how she acts like a 30 years old mother (I feel like her hugs are the best), but I’m also interested in seeing her other sides (sometimes we forget that despite their talents, they’re actually teenagers hehe)

Does the mask belong to who I’m thinking? Is this the return of… Mister Psycho? Oooh, I wonder if Hayate is going to come back in some way? (I’ll probably end up being totally wrong)

Let me just say that I love love love the dynamic between Kayo, Bridgette and Jin! I am scared of Kayo’s fate though; I feel like we’ve already learned a lot about her, which makes me worried for the future… Please let her survive a bit longer! (Or maybe it’s simply due to her rambling tendencies which are adorable btw) Jin is hilarious and his chemistry with Bridgette is great, they would make great partner in crimes (as in wild shenanigans, not murder lol) I would love to be pampered by them!

I’m really interested in Rene this time around, mostly because we didn’t get to see much of him last time! I’ve always thought that his talent was one of the more unique ones. I’m also looking forward for more interactions with Shiori even though they’re quite different—I think they’d make a cute pair (as eventual friends, even if Rene is begrudging about it) I know, I know, I’m reaching. I’ll admit that a good number of my theories actually come from my sister (my head empty, no thoughts) and one of them is that Konyu’s commercial activities aren’t limited to what’s legal… What if she was involved in some sort of black market? Or even some sort of human trafficking? (organs and all that jazz) It’s a bit sinister, yes, but who knows? In all cases, I love her constant marketing and advertising antics!

Next up, we have a trio of lovely, level-headed ladies consisting of Nerai, Kasumi and my dear Hollie. To be honest, I misread the first part and thought that they were entering some kind of large mouth sculpture and uh, yeah, that doesn’t sound mildly terrifying at all! I’m very curious to learn about Kasumi’s past, being related to Kamukura and all… Plus, it definitely seems like something bad enough happened to her and you know I just gobble up angst- She’s also one of the characters that I remember the most because I can visualize her thanks to Squalina’s drawing hehe. Going back to the first chapter, I was pleasantly surprised by Nerai’s softer side around Alice (not that she ever was that aloof or standoffish). She definitely has a soft spot for our favorite nurse/field medic. I also have to mention the Hollie and Noelle scene from last chapter which was absolutely hysterical! Poor Hollie, having to drag around a (fun-sized) human in a bag when she can barely even lift a dictionary! I’m pretty sure her breasts are the only source of her weight.

Speaking of Noelle, I had already read a few of her quotes before and let me tell you, she doesn’t disappoint! Her randomness and quirky personality are… something (that’s a compliment!) Let’s pray that she doesn’t end up killed by a washing machine (not the best way to go, meow.) Of course, the whole segment with her, Shiori and Galexialyn was gold! I too wonder how bras twice the side of my head can possibly exist… I love my witchy girl so much and I’m sooo glad to see her back with Xialyn! Their first appearance was definitely less eccentric/creepy than last time but I’m not complaining! (*prayer circle for them to survive both*)

I know I’m being paranoid but whenever a character divulges a bit too much (even if they’re being vague), I just get super nervous for them! That’s how I feel about Alice right now, haha! She can’t die yet, it would be such a waste of a gorgeous new design! Shuhei is back too, but without his waifus Natalie, Miyaki and Giselly… I’m sad. Still very composed and stoic, but for how long? (insert diabolical laugh) Is my inner Monokuma showing?

Timothy is way too adorable. Please, please let me join his protection squad. I just want to hold him in my arms and tell him that everything’s going to be okay (that would be a lie). I also really enjoy the personalities of his little robots Gabe and Saiko (if I may call them that). Nessa totally reminds me of Detroit: Become Human which used to be an obsession of mine. So far, I already really like her and she’s an interesting addition, as a neutral party. I can already hear her robotic voice in my head.

Somehow, the image of Daniel in a pink apron, pink oven mitts and a pink ruffled headband popped in my head… And I can’t say I dislike it. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if his favorite ingredient was human meat (à la Hannibal Lecter.) You can’t convince me he’s not a psychopath. Even if I don’t trust this guy one bit, I really do like his personality and I enjoy his scenes a lot! Frida is another character who I feel like is going to quickly end up in my list of faves. I mean, an Aztec priestess a chocolatier? That’s like, the best combination ever. I just pray that she doesn’t end up as a killer, pretty please? I loved her interaction with Scott (who’s just awesome btw), they have such a good dynamic! With Daniel as the dad, Frida as the mom and Scott as the rowdy son, they certainly make for a peculiar family. (I would pay to watch that show though)

Okay, I think we’ve got a rather colorful cast! And a lot of characters whose name starts with a K, it gets a bit confusing sometimes- I’m really, really invested in everyone, so I wish that they all get the chance to shine before their inevitable demise. Sorry for taking so long, school just started but I really wanted to let you know that I’ve read and enjoyed immensely every chapters! Good luck for the next chapter !

We got several interesting moments for whoever it is behind Monokuma during that briefing room scene. They are at least very different from Junko, being more interested in the thrill and adrenaline they get from the high stakes game rather than a despair fetish. The fact that they want to enjoy watching the students break makes them almost seem more depraved or sadistic. There’s also the point of them specifically saying that “someone else” is the psycho, although I’m not sure if that’s just a jab at Nerai’s past, another student with a hidden dark side (that mask is suspicious), or a hint to their identity. Regardless, it’s harder to guess their identity when the circumstances surrounding the Hope’s Peak Killing Game are so vague at this point. I’ll be definitely keeping an eye out for any hints I can get.

Awesome introduction phase, rules are always important to follow, and this seems to be one of the more competent group of students right off the bat. I mean no one was killed during this phase so that's one plus for them so far (even if Mr. Doo-Louis was close to being offed). Most of the rules being the standard affair, until we get to number five...why do I get this feeling, that someone is gonna bite it from one of the airlocks. I guess it could be used to murder someone (maybe no trial since finding the body would be no bueno).

N3554 being shackled to the station is sad ;( maybe someday she'll be set free like a beautiful moth in the night sky. I hope the students can respect her duties...of keeping them afloat, if not I demand the airlocks to be released! On another note Jin being stressed about to many people is justified, "normally 16" is the count for a killing game and the amount of pieces you have to worry about on a chessboard...I know this could be considered a red flag but I think it's 2 obvious.

Great work again Crit(and Hand) I loved the interactions in this chapter, and look forward to what's in store next time. I'm glad I was able to create an OC that will give Monokuma the free space to have quality time with the students :)

gg
logal

I gotta say, I really like what you did with the cast. You state that you split the cast 50/50 on new characters and old, but I think it's more accurate to say it's split into three groups.
Group A is the originals, the ones who appeared on Horizon Station. Group B would be OCs who appeared in previous stories, but had nothing to do with Horizon Station. And Group C would be complete newcomers, who never appeared in one of your stories yet.
And the three groups are mixed together quite well, I'm already interested in the different dynamics at play. I think Galexialyn and Daniel is already my favourite, hope to see more out of those two.

Hmm. N3554, huh? I'm assuming it's supposed to be some kind of assistant to the Captain, whoever that is. Interesting. I did always like it when there were multiple "masterminds" in control of the game, it always made things more entertaining.

Hurraaaay! The first chapter is out!

Without further ado, let’s go review it! Sheesh, it’s only the beginning of the school year and already, I’m procrastinating on my homework? Well, you know me, being a sporadic commentator and all, if I don’t leave one the very day it’s out, I’m probably never gonna write it, so let’s get it done quickly!

, Bridgette, ever so bouncy as usual! Whoa, I have like no originality in jokes whatsoever. This girl just emanates that stereotypical outgoing American vibes, well duh, she’s American, but yeah, she’s a ball of fun, if a little crude with her words! For some reason, I didn’t think Kosaku would be as cheerful, I like him a lot! Pff, Himbo as a nickname, fits him well, ah he actually kinda reminds me of Gonta, huge, but a cinnamon roll! Scott is a cool guy too, smol but a true fighter! I dunno why, but the first time I read his name, I immediately thought of Scrappy-Doo…This is definitely intentional, right? Kikuko is an interesting character, and just like the typical child, seems very peppy and excitable! Although I’m having the odd feeling that she doesn’t have such a happy backstory…Maybe she just reminds me of Kotoko in both name and talent…Oof, I hope I’m wrong!

in Wonderland, more like Alice in Space! Ahh, I’m happy to see her again, she was one of my favorite character from Final Horizon! This time, she is known as the Ultimate Field Medic rather than the Ultimate Veterinarian. I’m curious what changed in her past… And she woke up right next to Nerai! It’s always interesting to see two characters who already knew each other interact! Aww, their relationship is so sweet! I’m looking forward to learn more about their common history with the apparent slaughter of Fenrir and all. Huh, Nicholas became Nicole… Interesting… Mmm, wondering if Mr. Psycho still exists…

, Timothy’s adorkable, I love him already! He sure does have a lot of companions! To be honest, I had to reread like five times before finally registering all their names. Lol, for a moment, I thought Coppelia was also a robot, please, don’t die, Mrs. Labrador! I’ve only known the dog for one chapter, but if anything happens to her, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself! Ahem. Yeah, Timmy and his friends definitely need a protection squad. At least we already have Alice and Nerai that could make a nice pair of moms. Warm and nurturing mom and cool and badass mom. Wait, am I shipping them already? Although I like their dynamic, it’s still early, let’s see what happens next. Inb4 Timothy is actually evil and the mastermind…

now, after some mostly wholesome scenes, we’re having a more macabre one with our two beloved edgelords…Aha no, but really, they both seem pretty dangerous with Galexialyn being well, Galexialyn and Daniel being an all-around suspicious guy(all those picrews that Lckikoin made, jeez…) I’m fully expecting at least one of them to become a murderer (if they aren’t already one, which has less than 0,1% chance of happening). There’s a reason why we tell children to not enter a truck that offers free candies! In that case, Daniel’s the truck. A truck painted with the blood of his victims. Huh, our occultist seems much more serious in this story’s introduction than in FH’s where they appeared more eccentric with that "I’m gonna cuuuuuuuurse you!". Actually, I prefer the new one much better. Feels less silly and more ominous as expected from the leader of a cult.

, it’s my daughter Shiori! It’s been so long since we last have seen her! Too bad she has to go through yet another killing game again (what is it now, the second one? Third one?) The little witch’s application has been fully revamped for this very purpose! Oh, looks like she’s interacting with our favorite grumpy boy Rene! Poor dude had a very unfortunate fate in SoT, so I’m happy to see him getting a second chance at life (and pain)! Looking forward to see what kind of development he’s gonna get, especially with Shiori being here now. I remember in FH that evil mad scientist Dr. Momota revealing that she managed to become friends with him. Speaking of which, you’ve written my girl very well, soft-spoken and reserved, just like she’s supposed to be! Oh, I almost forgot, Mr. Bon Bon better be back or I’m gonna throw a fit. Just kidding. Absolutely kidding. This Ultimate Bunnies Fanatic is not idiotic enough to bully one of my favorite writers on this site!

6.I think it makes a lot of sense that Shuhei introduced himself as a jack-of-all-trades of science, he can do everything, but he’s not the master of anything. Mostly intrigued about the mention of Miranda Bailey, who, if I remember correctly is Alice’s mother…Amanda seems like a nice young lady with a southern charm, I’m looking forward to see her interactions with the child star or some of the younger students. Kasumi Kamakura…What an interesting family name…Kamakura-kamakura yaaaaas queeeeeeeen! I'm sorry. Couldn’t help myself. I wonder if she’s related to the founder of Hope’s Peak Academy…To be frank, I don’t have a lot to say about this trio of academics besides that they seem like probably the sanest group introduced yet.

contrast with the previous set of introductions, this trio is one of the most colorful yet (in every way)! Out of those three, Kaiyo seems like the less eccentric, but still, she’s a cool girl, energetic and friendly, which kinda reminds me of Asahina who I liked a lot in the first game. Those tattoos, man…I wonder how much she spent for all of them… Like someone said on the discord, Frida’s kinda a mix of of Hammy Gundam and Religious Angie. I really love her concept! Such a creative idea to make her an Aztec priestress! I wonder if there is an Aztec god of chocolates… Ultimate Chessplayer, more like Ultimate Crossdresser! Such a contrast with our previous prim and proper (and sociopathic) Chessplayer in SoT! Normally, I’d say I’m not into super loud and vulgar characters like Miu but I actually do like Jin a lot so far! What Frida told him was kinda rude so it was satisfying to see him reply with such confidence. Lmao, "fatherfuckin"! He has some of the best lines so far (besides a certain cat girl)!

but not least, we have a trio of remarkably interesting girls here… First up, Hollielujah, Hollie moly, it’s Hollie Eisenberg! Beware, people with trypophobia, the Ultimate Acupuncturist is ready to drill hollies in you! Praise my lazy attempts at creating puns… I loved this girl in Oasis so I’m happy she’s back (also she’s my sis’s OC, so of course I have to stan her) Her deadpan tone and calm personality offers quite the contrast to the Miss Karen and Miss Kitty Alien. Anyway, Konyu is a fun girl, I like her talent, kinda reminds me of Anna from Fire Emblem! I’m imagining her doing infomercials: "If you buy one, we’ll offer you a second one for FREE! " or "This product might give you some light side-effects like headache, a fever, intense itchiness, all sorts of cancer, or well deaaaaath." As for Noix/Noël/Noelle de Coco, where should I start with… I absolutely adore her! My gosh she’s such a riot with some of the best oneliners! Pfft, that MySpace line, I actually chuckled out loud at some of her quotes. Now you’d think I’d be finally done with the cast, but noo, there’s our final character, Nessa, the Ultimate Artificial Intelligence! For some reason, I kinda imagine her looking like Aiba from AI:The Somnium Files… In any case, she’s one to watch for, wonder if she’ll be a good AI or an evil one…

Boy, that was a long one. This was an amazing chapter! So much improvement since your first SYOC! Keep going! For my part, I’m very excited to draw the whole cast! Hopefully, I’ll be done before the whole story is completed, aha. I actually started writing this review yesterday but only finished it today. I’m sorry in advance if I don’t manage to write another one for a long time… Anyway, yep that’s all for now, I hope you have a great day!

Greetings, earthlings. I'm Captain Noelle, and thank you for choosing Coco Airways for your flight this evening. There are no trained pilots on board, zero parachutes, and the food comes straight out of a freezer, but at least we're not United Airlines. Anyway, remember that if you're going to smoke while we're flying, then open the door and do it outside. Thanks.

Oh, and no pets are allowed on board. Meow.

This walking stereotype, the bouncy girl, gets a pass from me. I appreciate that I don't have to put in the effort of creating a dumb nickname. She's already done it for me. Still, it sort of feels like I need to chop her head off with a claymore or something. Redhead, big boobies, uses nicknames, makes stupid comments... Yup, I must destroy her. There can only be one.

I'm surprised that Scrappy-Doo made it into the cast. I thought the fans hated him. There's even a Tv Tropes page about it. Well, he's a lot shorter than I remember him being, and he was already smaller than a football. I've reached the limit of my attention span for this scene already. Bye.

Blimey. Imagine your first distinctive descriptor being "buxom blonde". Right, that should tell you a lot about your role in the story. So I guess this side character will be the source of fan service or something equally demeaning. It'd be nice if she were at least something actually helpful like a veterinarian. We have cats on board who need to be looked after. Meow.

There are so many characters in this next scene; I'm not even going to bother with it. Wham. Bam. No thank you, ma'am. Hard pass.

Nap time. Satan, take the wheel.

Nap time is over. You can keep the wheel, Satan.

Galexiaxiaxialyn "Galexialyn 'Galex or Xialyn' Chijimatsu" Chijijijimatsu's name is so long—I'm robbing you of a second to breathe—that I think I'll just call them "It". You know, like the clown or the novel or the movie, or the movie about the novel about the clown. As for the other person here, this Edgar Allen Poe meets House wannabe makes me wanna... I just remembered I've never actually watched Poe's TV show, and the same goes for House's poems, so I can't actually diss anyone. You know, I don't think that's candy he's sucking... But hey, don't let his preferences distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table. I know because I was there for it myself, meow.

I'm tired. Nobody actually thought I was going to do this whole chapter, right? Good. I didn't want to have to say mean things about the little witch either. I was prepared to do it, but my creator—the guy who role-plays as a spider and is typing all my lines right now, putting words in my mouth; help, my oral cavity is being violated—happens to be incredibly biased. Shocker.

I got the last word in this chapter, which means I'm absolutely the protagonist of this story. Of course I am—I'm the cutest girl here and will obviously sell the most merchandise. Welp, thanks for cheering me on. I'll make sure to do you losers proud and die like a proper decoy protagonist should.

#ImagineBeingKarenIn2020

It's good to see the king himself back into the fray. I really enjoyed the chapter, all the character interactions were flushed out in a timely manner. My favorite interaction being Alice, and Nerai. I liked the chemistry between them it really pays off to know someone right off the bat, I'm sure their bond will continue into further chapters (until death of course).

I love the premise of the story, my favorite movie of all time being 'Alien', this will definitely keep me invested. I'm very pleased that you chose to have my OC to be part of the Space Station...I know I kinda submitted for a part that was never specified to be in the story...but I'm glad you have eh use for Nessa xP.

The interaction at the end of the chapter was an interesting one *eyes narrow*, Konyu Genkin might be my favorite character in the story so far xP , I hope the Karen thing doesn't last...then there's Noelle... leave it to Trust to have the most bizarre character in the cast, I hope she sticks around for a good amount of time though xD. I have a list below of my earlier game predictions...that will probably be obsolete in a month or so but I might get one character right, only you guys know.

Mastermind: Nerai Watanabe
Survivors: Kasumi, Shiori, Daniel, Timothy
Has the most handsome charismatic creator: N3554 (Nessa)
Has the most beautiful creator: Kosaku Tekkin

Keep up the great work Senpai~!
I look forward to make more detailed reviews in the future!?

Senpai~!