|Reviews for Puck's Saga: Latte|
| Doom chapter 2 . 6/16/2003
Hey this really good Kaze very SaGa like. Nicely written as well.
| The Rushing Wind chapter 1 . 6/8/2003
The Angel of Yorkland? A camouflage rune? Hmm...very interesting! This is a good story, but there are a few punctuation errors, like commas where there should be periods, and periods where there shoudl be commas. Its only in a few places though, and sometimes things can get messed up like that when you upload, especially if its done in MS Word.
Anyway, great story you have going on here! I can't wait to read more! _
| Seizalyn chapter 1 . 6/8/2003
Interesting cliffhanger! _ Well, other than what Algus has said, I don't have much to add- except that I hope that you delve into why Jones hates Mondo so much I liked the humour slipped into some of the lines, particularly (paraphrased):
Puck: I'm from Latte!
Mondo: Never heard of it.
Puck: *falls over*
Also, I'm guessing that Puck has her own reasons for hating Trinity? Interesting that she mentions Wakatu... maybe her reason for joining Latte has someting to do with that massacre? Anyway, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!
| 6thisaccountisdead9 chapter 1 . 6/7/2003
0.o it had a nice ending, I'm hooked now. You might want to work on cleaning up a couple of your lines For instance:
'Drat it! How can I get to Mondo.?' thought Puck
You could say Drat it! How can I get to Mondo? Puck thought quietly as her face paled.
Keep her interior monologue in italics, though that's just a charismatic change and not as important.
Also, through in contractions, for instance 'Yeah I am feeling rather nauseous!' could be changed to 'Yeah. I'm feeling rather nauseous' or 'a bit nauseous.' It just makes it sound a bit more real. Also watch punctuation, a period would be better there then an exclamation mark.
Other then that, your story was really good, and I'm really looking forward to it. Not that I'm criticising mind you ;) I make some of the same mistakes in my stuff. Anyways, nifty story like I said. Keep writing.