Oooooh... an actual good Dumbledore with miscommunication/misinforms/misguided instead of manipulative kind?! What a find!

also, please come back. I don't want to read the final chapter knowing it'll be the last of this fic.

You dead? Plz be alright, I miss this awesome fic

Wtf is this chapter. Mc over explains and laid out information which werent even asked and the other characters take it and believe it like some 2d characters. They didn't even for a second wonder where did he get that information from or how or why he has this information.

This was super sod breaking for me

I absolutely love how well developed and planned this story is. I'd love to continue reading it, but alas, it seems to be discontinued and on current hiatus.

Maybe work on just basic grammar, huh?

I like this kind of gamer elements story. Please continue.

meyes! gamer-fem!harry fic, yippie!D
“oh no… sexual descriptions of minorsO

Welcome back, Old Man!

1500th Comment!
More than 20 months since an update :(

What is the name you're using over on AO3? There are dozens of authors using 'Hawk' and variations thereof over there.

The first chapter was amazing but this is a little disappointing. The blocks of text of the MC talking is so long and it's so much information at once, it quite literally broke the pacing of the story. Not only that, the characters are merging and everyone is acting the same, which is not good news. The MC went full SI here, and the other characters too.

This was great update pls!

Just so you know. It's legillimens not legimens. Legillimancy. Not legimancy.

It's not even that the MCs plot is bad. He has good ideas.

But... it really should not have been used NOW. As I said previously, the story BARELY EVEN STARTED. With 200k word count, the author should have been way past the Fourth Year at Hogwarts. Yet, we started in summer break before the fourth year and we are STILL THERE!

And now the author is just adding BS to prolong the time we spend there. Sure, have your 'what is the system' plot. But have it once the story fuckin progress SOMEWHERE. As it is now? I couldn't give a bigger shit because I am here for Potterverse gamer story and it was NOT DELIVERED.

This just turned into garbage.

Don't get me wrong, it was bad before. The author has a good idea but he is mentally ill. He overexplains every unnecessary and pointless tidbit. These 200k words in 20 chapters? You could compress that into 5 chapters worth of 30-40k words of pure story. The rest is just the author ranting about shit that barely has to do with the story. In the middle of storytelling this mf really loves to just go off the rail and start ranting.

I am at ch 17 and the MC basically did not even leave the starting line. Hogwarts did not even start yet. This author would need 20 MILLION words to finish this story. Talk about shit pacing, huh?

Another problem, the author put many issues in MCs path. And so far they have been interesting. But this last one? The system 'corruption'? Yeaaah, no. That ruined it. Firstly, the MC has enough issues. Another does not need to be added. SOLVE some of them first and progress the story ffs! Secondly, making the system broken... it was the thing that explained how the MC can pull his BS and now you want to fuck with that? And the MCs attitude is just casual? It is highly unrealistic. The biggest resource the MC has in his fight against Voldy is the system. But he seems to want it to 'uninstall'?

All in all, there are a lot of shit points and the author clearly lacks the ability to THINK before writing.