Logan- this is great we finally see more of the facility. Also I love how you wrote my guy in this POV. It’s perfect as always and I like that he’s paying attention to the little details. That he noticed the opened doors and yay they finally are meeting each other.

Eden- woah the tension between Vanya and Eden is going to take this up a notch. It’s so interesting that they know each other and the anger they both hold over each other really shows how much they hate each other and the way this has caused problems for them. Also I’m excited to see what you will be in our of this tension.

Lior- I love him so much and the way he thinks an he’s such a mood. At the beginning of his section when he was talking about how he can’t be around people and tries to go to his cell. This was genius and I love every minute of this and I can’t wait to see what else you do with his point of view and what you can do more for it.

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command

Logan: he was in the middle of the pack it seems, in regards to accepting the voice’s conditions. The waivers still blow my mind, how there’s so much mystery surrounding them even now that we know for a fact that they do exist (even if it’s not in the same format as ffn productions would like the public to think). And I just love his this second appearance allows us to see how everyone’s developed during their time in prison. Logan seems to have grown into himself a bit more, from that shy boy who worked magic with technology in his intro, but if that’s for better or worse remains to be seen. I feel like he could be a wildcard.

Eden: that beginning! I love how it’s almost ike a continuation of Logan’s POV, even though it doesn’t necessarily have to be Logan taking a step into the room. And then we had the Vaden reunion. I don’t know what I had expected from them meeting again, but it definitely wasn’t this. Maybe I thought they would be friendlier towards each other, especially seeing as they seem very much obsessed with one another but I can also see why Eden wouldn’t be considering Vanya is definitely a reason as to why Eden’s here in the first place (and likely why the agency gave up on her). Very Excited to see them interact again!

Lior: yes smack her ’round the head! I don’t think I’ve made my distaste for Alex a secret to anyone (even though I can’t remember how it originated, but I’m nothing if not persistent) so I very much enjoyed the visual of her head almost smacking into that metal table. Whatever happened next, with Lior ending up on the floor, was super scary though. Maybe they installed something when everyone got that syringe in their thigh? Wouldn’t be surprised tbh. The whole thing with Lior being frustrated of being locked out was super interesting too, especially in contrast with a lot of the others wanting to be anywhere but locked up.

Excellent chapter. Everything about this story is just so damn fascinating.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

I CAME HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME BUT HONESTLY I AM FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW!

Logan is baby and i liked how he explained the whole number shit and is just as fucking confused as i am. inch resting to see how the place is set up. loggi is just so fucking confused and it is clear that he's become a bit more hardened in prison, even if he is now thrown out of his element. he is a man who lubs structure but now he has no structure to lub and idk i fuck heavy with him

EDEN! MY FAVEEEEE HELLO SWEETIE HOW ARE YOU? oh you are sad? big fucking mood. why are you sad? oh me, well i hate my dad, OH UR IN PRISON? thats way worse sweetie. hearing the reflection on the trial and how she feels so hurt by vanya (YET KEEPS THINKING ABT HER OKAY GAY BITCH) made me very sad because idk ik eden killed 11 people but she still deserves better. and ugh ofc my girl is so observational because she is Built Different and idk it is v inch resting how this is spooky yet similar and different to her whole spy observation shit. the hallway system gives me major psych ward vibes so do with that info what u will... AND THEN SHE SEES VANYA... and omg she is pissed at miss thang? honestly, mood, I understand why you would be ma'am. eden is all barkity bark angry and vanya is like "? bruh" hmm eden really thinks v is playing her no she is just CONFUSED wtf... at least they recognize one another... shit be wilding with them cant wait for implied prison seggs

LIOR IS MY SUPPORT TWINK! I LOVE LIOR! god he is also so angry. i keep thinking "tf is everyone so angry for" then i remember they do be in prison like deadass. but yes go off sir there is a reason ur dad is dead he sucks mad balls. and yeah he likes being lonely, okay z insert looking headass but also i relate. prison bitches be weird asf... INCLUDING ALEX AMD MOE WHO ABT TO THROW HANDS AND LIOR IS LIKE NAHH I WILL JUST BE ALONE AND DEPRESSED INSTEAD... he made points. i love how he is dragging everyone to filth. oh FUCK! what happened BB... okay then alex go off ig, nobody puts baby in a corner but cute of u for trying... stan lior

em ur writing is very good and i like it very muchly. stan in the cut and u

FFN- I can see that Simon is relying heavily on these waivers as a crutch. I can completely understand that. Also I wondered how they took all these people and having tubes and monitors seems just as horrible as the Capitol. This is starting off quite exciting and I’m intrigued.

Emile- I love him so much, he is such a sweetheart and what happened to him was awful. He took the fall for someone who didn’t deserve it, but I’m happy that he has found some freedom here. That he doesn’t have to live through or by others and can start living for himself. The ominous screen and the waiver I assume that no one can see scrawls over is scary and the idea of freedom would intrigue anyone in jail.

Bear- this was sad and I can see that Teddy will be the motivation that he will need to make it out. Also I don’t know if Teddy will be able to take his medication while in the cut, so I wonder how that will change things for him. He is already on edge but I wonder how that will change for him.

Vanessa- I like her a lot and this all seems so sketchy and illegal. Also they cut her hands up and she goes out into a pouring light of a hallway. I wonder were she is and what she has to do to live this new chapter of her life. Will her ability to take risks be useful to her now or never?

Ja, må hon leva! Ja, må hon leva!
Ja, må hon leva uti hundrade år!
Javisst ska hon leva!
Javisst ska hon leva!
Javisst ska hon leva uti hundrade år!

FFN - Production Office: that name! I see you (I actually didn’t the first time around, because I’m blind apparently, but Goldie pointed it out so now I must comment). This as a whole is just very neat. I love behind the scene things, so I very much enjoyed the fan theories in comparison to what happens in real life (especially with the waivers, which I understood and appreciated much more during this read-through!).

Emile: this is so beautiful. I don’t care that I came up with his jail arc pre-story, I’m firm in my belief that your writing made is so much better, and so much more impactful. And can we talk about how I relate to him on every level? I’m not religious, I’ve never been high, but the way you describe the emotions… it’s like you’ve taken everything you’ve learned about me these past months and put it on paper. Your portrayal feels very personal, in the best way possible. It make me love him, and appreciate your friendship, even more. Imma stop before I get too soppy, but just know that you’re doing an incredible job!

Bear: fine, you done did it. You’ve made me emotional over someone who I was determined to only feel neutral about. I don’t need more people in my like section, but here i am, a mess. I always felt sorry for the guy, and will never forgive his father for what he did to Butter, but bringing Teddy into the picture did the trick. It’s another thing I can relate to, I used to have a teddy bear when I was younger (not sixteen, mind you) that meant a lot to me, and i too had trouble sleeping without it. Ugh, I guess I’ll root for him too then.

Vanessa: there’s a lot of things to unpack here, president amongst them that she’s even more reckless than I had thought. We saw some of that in her intro, but still… I guess sentencing is the only thing she has in common with Emile after all. That’s not to say I dislike her, far from it. I think it’s very interesting that she’s not willing to give anything up for freedom. But then, being locked away seems to have given her solace, at least in terms of sobriety. AND THAT ENDING. Talk about full-circle moment. I’m shook, bye.

I’m so ready to get into more of the pre-games. This is brilliant.

Och när hon har levat
Och när hon har levat
Och när hon har levat uti hundrade år!
Ja, då ska hon skjutas
Ja, då ska hon skjutas
Ja, då ska hon skjutas på en skottkärra fram!

okay hell simon is sus as fuck yeah waivers my ass

and emile finding himself i’m upset what the actual fuck

bear’s bear? yeah i hate it here

HOO BOY NESSA KNOWS WHERE SHE IS

wtf is happening bye

Remy- woah the way that you began with how they were never too far behind each other. Then to end it with the same saying was genius Olive. Also to see that he now feels dead metaphorically because of his brother died. That was deep and I wonder what the implications will have on his game play.

Nieve- she seems very calm, cool and collected in my opinion. She seems to be almost normal even though she is at a shelter and uses drugs. She reminds me of someone who could be on skins in my opinion and I love for a fact that she seems authentic and genuine. Her sentences aren’t as wild as some of these people are up her but I’m nonetheless excited to see what you do with her.

Moe- his background was very intriguing and all this mess with siblings has been a handful this chapter. With all of these strained sibling relationships I wonder what will happen when we look at what will occur when the games come down to it. I guess we can see a world of hurt for him but I feel like he might pull out a win, might be a dark horse of sorts.

Ahem here we go again. I'm so slow with intros why am I like this? I don't deserve nice things

Anyway! Stunning as always! I love how you write these kids so effortlessly, and it's just so impressive how invested you are in their psych and trying to make us sympathize with them even when they've committed heinous crimes

Bear: he was such a wild ride from start to finish. I absolutely adored his background, whilst cults have been covered before in this fandom I just love your take on it, it's not the usual ,"cult demonic activities" typa thing that I'm so tired of, it's much more diverse and fucking disturbing once you read about it. Anyway I love Bear's background. I just wish he was fucking ballsy and got rid of his father's influence but I STILL do understand his behaviour, even his violent reaction, remember kids, this boy had never fucking interacted with humans outside of the small settlement he grew up in, he was just raised and abused throughout his life to become submissive to his evil parents well. The first scene with butter fucking GUTTED ME OK IT WRECKED ME THANK YOU EM VERY COOL! #butterrights
I honestly cannot wait for Bear to interact with others, it's going to be interesting to see how he's going to act, considering he's gonna spend extra time in prison before he gets in the cut

Vanya, now this bitch was so fucking wild but not as wild as I expected her to be, shes really going to be the type to eventually snap and fucks up everything around her, especially with her downplaying her trauma and Jura considering herself good at her job. VANYA YOU NEED THERAPY HONEY, I'm fucking so intrigued by her relationship with Eden and i can't help but to applaud Dyl and Linds on this amazing gay Collab yes good I support, the angst tho, THE FUCKINF ANGST...I can't wait to see Eden and Vanya interact again it's gonna be a fucking mess. So sad to see that Vanya's only escape from Timothy is by going behind the bars... FUCK TIMOTHY'S LIVES BYE

Matty, my words cannot describe how much I love this boy, he's literally just a softy and wants to paint walls why can't he have that why does it always get worse I aLMOST CRIES AT HIS POV THIS ISN'T FAIR FUCK THE POLICE ACAB
I'd not put it past these pigs to frame an innocent teenager but I'm still shook
him just thinking about his mother and feeling guilty about her spending money on lawyers to get him out of jail...it hit so hard I wasn't ready
I just love Matty so much and that's the tea FUCK
FUCKKKKKK

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command

Remy: call me biased, I don’t care, I fucking adore this man. Yes, I’ve read his form. Yes, I know what wicked horrible things you’re doing to him. That doesn’t take away the brilliance Ben created from that massive brain of his. Ugh, the part in the beginning about Remy and his twins always being together only for that thing to happen in the end. ”His heart may still be beating as the officers lead him out the bank’s front doors, but you need more than that to be alive.” HOW DARE YOU. This is not ok. I’m a mess. Bye.

Nieve: ok, you were right, she wasn’t quite as heartbreaking as the absolute monstrous sadness of the boys she’s sandwiched between, but that doesn’t mean she’s happy. Nieve is another one of the people who uses drugs to deal with her emotions, but can you blame her? She seems to have had to deal with a lot of hardships in her past, beginning with her parent’s deaths in the fire (I see you) to the foster homes she’s been put through (where she’s apparently been slapped? ew wtf) to wherever she was with Casey. I’m sad.

Moe: so I’ve been trying to repress everything about this POV since you let me read it in advance a few days ago, which I now realize was a curse. Cause I WASN’T READY. I’m still not. Why are you doing me like this? Ugh. I think I’ve found one of my ”themes” in close sibling relationship, which is weird seeing as I have no siblings myself, but here we are. Anyway, Moe brings me pain and I hate it. And of course the stupid swabs in the third section is some sort of foreshadowing that is going to bring me even more pain.

Favorites: Giovanni, Vaden, Matty, Remy
Like: Vanessa, Lior, Bronte, Ellie, Logan
Neutral: Ilya, Moe, Bear, Rylan, Nieve
Conflicted: Mara, Alex

I’m so excited about the pre-games you have no idea.

You're so evil.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

Okay this review is going to be short because I never fucking reviewed this and now AHHH ur updating tomorrow and I haven't reviewed and I don't want to get behind so um yeah lets do this thing! woo!

Mara: Honestly, I was not that big of a fan of Miss Mara. She seemed like just a clingy ass girlfriend and I don't really stan her at all, she just annoyed me and I think she would call me gay slurs

Gio: OKAY I FUCKING LOVE GIO! ANOTHER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TWINK! His story was so sad and seemed so realistic and gahh Gio is so human and I am a huge fucking fan of him man fuck Mr Nilsen all my homies hate Mr Nilsen gio deserves better

Ilya: Okay so she's a spoiled rich bitch who still shoplifts? Not really for me, but like I guess all of this is more her parents fault then hers. She's alright, I have no real strong feelings towards her, but I am moving Bronte to like because im more neutral about ilya okay

again, i suck and this was short asf but im hype for the next update

Mine: Vanya
Not Mine but I would die for her: Eden
Adore: Bear, Lior, Gio
Love: Alexandra, Emile, Vanessa (sorry nessa but adore tear is for my twinks only now)
Like: Ellie, Logan, Matthew, Rylan, Bronte
Neutral: Ilya
Dislike: Mara

it took this long for me to dislike someone. impressive. stan em i love her

Mara- I can see that she is a little too dependent on others. This could be a problem if she wants an ally. That she might not be pulling her own weight and has to rely solely on what that other person brings. Let’s see if she changes things up when her life is on the line.

Giovanni- woah that was a lot honestly and for his teacher to do that to him puts it on another level. Also for him to not say anything speaks volumes about how cops treats cases like this in any country. This hit very close to home for me and I’m now chewing for Gio unless my Logan happens to make it out but Gio is my close second.

Ilya- I like her and I can see why she did what she did. I mean if she wants to try and get attention from her parents this is definitely the route one could go down. She seems pretty chill and I don’t know how she’ll play out in the games but I’m excited to see what direction you take her in.

Okay I’m interested! When I saw her crimes on the blog in preparation for the chapter, I guessed she might be a stalker type and when we started with Ehan I guessed that he became the object of her obsession. So not particularly surprising to me personally but I still really enjoyed it. I think you did a good job making her more than a trope or a stereotype, but it’s still *very* obvious that she has issues and is extremely volatile and clingy and yk all that fun stuff. I think she has the potential to be a really interesting character, someone who’s good for getting the plot moving and therefore is always fun to have around for the reader and the writer.

Nooo omg Giovanni’s hurt me. I was so stressed during the whole thing, I literally did not know what was going to happen next. I don’t want to think about what Nilsen was gonna do and yet I imagine anyway. I’m really glad that Giovanni was able to escape but uh now he’s in jail and gonna die so idk how happy I am about that. It breaks my heart that there was an officer giving him the benefit of the doubt, suspecting that something worse was going on, and yet he still couldn’t get the help and protection he needed bc he was so afraid of his parents and the world opinion of him. He literally went to jail to keep his parents from finding out. My heart breaks for him.

Okay I’m conflicted about Ilya. On the one hand, I think I like her, plus some of the circumstances of her crimes remind me of Vanessa for pretty obvious reasons. I think overall I do like her but I am a little...confused? From the beginning of the first POV, it kinda sounds like her family used to be not very well off. Like, at all. And then all of a sudden they get super rich and move to this much bigger house...and she doesn’t think that’s suspicious? Not even a little bit? I guess I’m just a little confused about that part. But ignoring that, I really enjoyed her intro. Idk how well she would actually get along with Vanessa in terms of temperament and personality bc Ilya seems to be motivated by a desire to be noticed by her parents, while for Vanessa it’s almost...idk it’s kinda aimless for Vanessa, she just does whatever she wants when she wants in the hopes that something will give her meaning. And also I think Ilya almost wants to get caught, and Vanessa absolutely does not, she gets off on getting away with stuff. So idk they’re similar but also v different. But I enjoyed her!

Mine: Vanessa
Stan: Ellie, Bear, Bronte
Love: Matthew, Emile, Lior, Giovanni
Like: Alexandra, Vanya, Rylan, Eden, Ilya
Neutral: Logan, Mara
Dislike:
Hate:

omfg can’t believe we only have one more intro round left!

mara - comparing the first section to the last...my lordt! i love the commentary on toxic relationships and feeling betrayed by the one person you trusted. staring off all the lovey dovey and then slowly going downhill was a wonderful choice! i feel bad for mara tho :/ fuck ehan! but the way she attacked his new lady friend...damn ma! curious to see how she deals with the games!

giovanni - omfg I LOVR GIO SM PLEASE PROTECT HIM! this was so gay and amazing and ugh! finally being happy with finn even tho he wasn’t ready to come out yet due to all the pressure from his family/society...relatable! everything was so cute until mr nilsen had to be an absolute hoe! glad gio fought back, but i feel bad that his fear of coming out stopped him from telling the whole truth...SAVE THIS KING PLEASE!

ilya - i actually like her! being ignored by you’re parents suck, so it makes sense why ilya acts out. despite her lavish lifestyle, she just wants love and attention from her parents. shoplifting and purposefully getting caught can certainly do that...and since ilya’s privileged, she doesn’t expect any harsh repercussions...until her parents want to teach her a lesson. and then the money laundering? i can tell ilya will shake up the competition a bit!

can’t wait to meet the last bunch of kiddos!

hello! time for another review :3 you're so close to done with intros! that must be a nice feeling for someone who's spent as long as you have writing full SYOTs.

Mara is fascinating to me. I love the vengeful girlfriend type and I'm not surprised to see it make an appearance here. I think whoever subbed her made a great choice in giving her Indian heritage too; from what I know about Indian culture ~~from Lilly Singh's videos~~ it seems like there's a lot of pressure to get married early and find the right person. So this was a great combination of like cultural knowledge with a character and I really enjoyed reading it! I'm super interested to see more of her she seems like she could be fun to see in the Arena.

GIOVANNI MADE ME SAD I LOVE THIS BOY AND HE GOT THE SHORTEST END OF THE FUCKING STICK HOLY FUCK I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG AND TELL HIM EVERYTHING WILL BE OK even though it probably won't be dear GOD i hate the way that Christian schools do this to the kids who go to them and make them feel less than for being who they are so I'm very glad to see that also make an appearance here. Honestly what a good cast of kids you got! i would like to give him all of the hugs please and thank you

OK so Ilya will, i have a feeling, be one of the more polarizing characters in the story. But as a camp counselor her actions do make sense to me, honestly. Kids act up when they don't get attention and she clearly gets no attention. So while it is frustrating that someone who has everything would resort to stealing it's, to borrow a line from something i think I've showed you, a cry for help. So i don't adore her by any stretch but i get her. i truly do.

All in all a really good chapter! We're so close to the pregames and I'm so excited to see the twists you've got in store for us! great work :yellow_heart:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command

Mara Suresh: oh, man. Everything was so nice and happy in the beginning, I wondered what could possibly go wrong. But then we got to the part where everything in her life was about Ehud, and then when she didn’t like the way he reacted to her question about the sport thing (soccer? Idk these things) and the shower… everything just kind of spiraled. She’s an interesting character for sure, I’m interested to see how her obsession transpires during her time in prison and how that will affect her going into The Cut.

Giovanni Abruzzo: I know what you meant with sad gay vibes now. I love this guy - I just want Gio to be happily in love with Finn and skip in fields and have cuddly movie nights. Why couldn’t they just have a wonderful life together? But no, of course there has to be repressive values all around him, not to mention creepy teachers. Mr Nilsen might make me puke, just writing his name feels nauseating. And after having read that second section, I know why Gio was so thankful his friends were ok with his sexuality at the beginning. This is very sad (although the religion angle reminds me of Emile! Can they please be friends?)

Ilya Moriarty: I was worried, at first, that she would be everything I had feared she would be. One of those spoiled kids without any substance who rely on their status and money to get places in life. It became quickly apparent that there was much more to her, though, and I found myself intrigued by how she shoplifted almost as a way to get her parents’ attention seeing as they were constantly working and being away from her. She has some super interesting motives, I just don’t know how I feel about her personality as of yet.

Favorite: Giovanni
Like:
Neutral: Ilya
Conflicted: Mara

Happy Valentine’s my sweet empress! Love you lots!

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!