Reviews for Brockton bay s resident Angel |
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![]() ![]() There are some pretty serious structural issues here. Poor word choice, sentence structure, the building of paragraphs. Basic grammar and story structure. Second, I'd guess that you're very young or inexperienced, because the story as you've told it speaks of a fundamental lack of understanding of how people interact as adults, and how law enforcement works, as well as a very...immature view of morality. Third, it feels almost as if you've never read the source material. If you are serious about writing, I think you would greatly benefit from joining a writing group or forum that can provide strenuous, real constructive criticism to aid you with your basic grammar, and give you some pointers on writing in general. Good luck. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thanks for the chapter. It's kind of inconvenient for Taylor not to be able to maintain a 100% human form or curl his wings, but it's definitely worth it in exchange for that power. If I'm not mistaken, hadn't Uriel flamed Taylor clean after she asked? Shouldn't she be clean? |
![]() ![]() ![]() looks like the 4th paragraph from the end of this chapter was truncated and moved from the end of the third to last paragraph. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Not gonna lie, love the story but there are a ton of typos. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Pretty good story You idea that racism is worse than sex slavery is laughable Yes the empire certainly bad but then not that bad compared to the other gangs The idea that the angel would have a problem with them is laughable having you read the Bible that's the most racist piece of tripe I've ever read Racism is the least of your worries when reading the Bible The idea of the PRT would allow a suspected murderer no a confessed murderer walk free that easily she is a suspect in over several killings and any prosecutor would be jumping at the heels the prosecutor her She may have been able to use the self defence of 1/3 party in using deadly force to pintail she confessed to having the person at her mercy And if there's one thing I know about the United States they hate the idea that they would allow this is laughable yes they can use the argument she's too strong to politically important but I would expect they would definitely press charges and as part of the punishment plea laid down by an actual court to serve her time instead of prison under the supervision of the state |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hmmm...Cauldron saw something last chapter. I wonder what their plans for Taylor are. |
![]() ![]() Yay! |
![]() ![]() well |
![]() ![]() ![]() Amazing chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() You have an enjoyable story here. I cannot wait to see where you are going from here. Thank you for your hard work. |
![]() ![]() ![]() A "Nephalem" is a half-angel/half-demon. A "Nephilim" is a half-mortal/half-angel. |
![]() ![]() ![]() yea the PRT, well sorry for Dragon as she is chained to her fate as well, looking forward to more |
![]() ![]() ![]() GG good for her, cannon wise she is an absolute monster really, but like the more reasonable and sane GG :) look forward to more |
![]() ![]() ![]() very good story looking forward to more |
![]() ![]() What the Bible actually says angels actually look like Eye covered interlocking wheels Ophanim Ox/eagle/lion/human faced four wings hooves Cherubim six wings covered in eyes two wings covering face two covering legs Seraphim |