|Reviews for Daybreak|
| Dragon Torretto chapter 37 . 9/28
Still seeing the improper word usage errors.
Embrys anger/tirade at the beginning carrying over from last chapter becomes a little ridiculous. Be angry sure, but spitting mad and devolving like that... At a certain point it’s ridiculous, even a turnoff to story readers.
Sams anger is also ridiculous, thankfully we saw less of it. I’m bothered by it though because he has no relationship with the MC, so his behavior is disrespectful and illogical. And as seen with the hand raising, his emotions like this let him get away with abusing his power as the packs Alpha. That’s not a great leader to have how Sams been portrayed this entire story so far.
| Dragon Torretto chapter 21 . 9/28
Dear, some of those improper word choices... Most likely autocorrect, but are so common it’s getting getting painful. I’d recommend getting a beta reader because these would very easy to avoid with just a skim through read. And instead of Ang for example when clearly referencing Angela being sick why she couldn’t come to the movie. Yes, it’s obvious with the rest of the context, but these errors make it seem you’re not proofreading your own story because of how common they’ve been. This is constructive criticism, friend. If you truly can’t find a beta reader, I’d be happy to help with this much in the future.
| Dragon Torretto chapter 19 . 9/27
I think the story’s well written/described, despite word usage and some minor mistakes throughout. It does feel more like a summary at chapters like this and anticlimactic end of the James threat prior. Still, I’m interested with the fluid characterization/events. Good deal
| Dragon Torretto chapter 15 . 9/27
This might be the oddest error Ive seen in fics, suggest use replace for same, which seems to be used in place of Sam I think every time this chapter
| SweetMarianna98 chapter 54 . 9/9
Yay! More chapters! I love your story, though it's hard reading about the aftermath of Xiaoxis' death.
| SweetMarianna98 chapter 52 . 9/9
Are you having problems with fanfiction That last chapter shows oddly and is incomplete.
| whfgwiwjsjc chapter 50 . 8/25
this story is incredible! some clever twists and i love what you've added as your own.
| ShardAura chapter 50 . 6/15
Bruh I enjoyed this story more than I thought I would. CANT wait to keep reading!
| Vivian Willis chapter 50 . 6/6
I absolutely loved this story it was probably one of the best books I’ve read in along time️
| BoredBitch87 chapter 7 . 3/26
He showed her his glitter stick
| jhaenox chapter 31 . 12/24/2020
i dunno whether i should be happy he love her so much that he'd stay human for her, or feel complicated because what i wanted for them is forever.
thanks for sharing ur story... ur idea is certainly unique. see you later
| jhaenox chapter 3 . 12/23/2020
wow, two years and she still hadn't seen the doctor? you're missing out lady! those nurses must be swooning every corner at the hospital at the glimpse of mr. mcdreamy
| moonguardian101 chapter 32 . 12/21/2020
WOOOHOOO! I just checked this out after I came to see the story on Fruits Baskets, but you are doing great! Thank you so much!
| Indigo chapter 3 . 12/14/2020
This has potential but it's rough around the edges, could use a beta for sure. Also, ch. 3 repeats itself in the middle of the chapter so I'm out for now. Maybe will try to pick this back up later.
| JustAGirlLostInAStory chapter 32 . 12/15/2020
Please let it come out in January! I loooove that Carlisle has chosen to become human for her! It does now make me wonder if Rosalie and Emmett could become human by being around her a lot. This could definitely give Rosalie a chance to have the family she always wanted! Keep up the good work. I love a good story that leaves me with questions!