Reviews for Harry Potter: Thinking like a Thief |
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![]() ![]() Harry Potter should have lost. Tom and his followers had More money, more political influence, better training, more experience, just more and better everything. Dumbledore not only set the Potters up to die but controlled Harry all his life. Even his wife was chosen by Dumbledore. Ginny Weasley was conditioned by Molly and Dumbledore to BELIEVE she loved Harry. After the way the Dursleys treated Harry he had no clue what love is. Harry Potter was a victim of Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore was the TRUE Dark Lord of the story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I loved this story! Some of the grammar and syntax left me scratching my head until I realized the author was most likely using voice to text software. I recognized some patterns of speech, rather than a truly written style of writing this story. But all in all, it worked in the end The last chapter was a bit anti-climactic, but it did work. Kudos! Job well done! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I apologize, in advance if my previous review aggravated your seeming frustration with those of us who criticize. But when creating a work of art (and your story IS a work of your art!), any writer needs to develop a thick skin. Just ignore what you wish to ignore, but take to heart all well-meant constructive criticisms. In my opinion, such as it is.. |
![]() ![]() ![]() One glaring error in this great story, in terms of grammar: the word "god". I realize that many people don't believe in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic Deity. And even more folk want to climb on that bandwagon for whatever reason. But when writing a story, the author must conform to certain grammatic rules, always in relation to overall structure of the story itself. And the capitalization of pronouns is one such rule. The first letter of any name is ALWAYS CAPITALIZED. And I capitalized those two words to call attention to the importance of this "rule". And in this manner, and when indicating the one actual Judeo-Christian-Islamic Deity, He is almost always referred to simply as "God". Please note the capitalization of the first letter of His name. The author would and indeed actually has referred to all other characters in this estimable tale by their names with proper capitalizations; at least insofar as I have observed up till this point in the story. Please do follow this basic format of individual names. Because it's one thing to call a being a "god", such as Zeus or Apollo, or a "goddess" such as Athena or Isis. The first letter in god isn't capitalized since it's not a name here. But the first letters of these "gods'" names ARE capitalized. But Jehovah, or Yahweh is usually referred to in English as (and very simply) God. And since the word is employed as an actual name, the name of the supreme deity, this name's first letter must always be capitalized. And please pardon my rampant pedanticism, but I am a credentialed teacher, and felt a short lesson in grammatic structure was necessary here, as too many errors tend to distract from an otherwise beautifully constructed story. Please do keep up the good work! |
![]() ![]() ![]() In point of fact and in law, Harry did NOT commit murder, until he shot the 3rd mugger in the head. The mutt was shot, dow and incapacitated. And the other two, all excusable in NY State cp law as justifiable homicide, self-defense of a 3rd party (the original victim). The three had used illegal "flick knives" (switchblades?) and those are considered deadly weapons under NY State law. I was an NYPD Sergeant, served 28 years on the job. The only offense Harry could've been arrested for was illegal discharge of a firearm within the city limits of New York City, and simple possession of a firearm. Both are class A misdemeanors unless used in the commission of a crime. And that Harry DID commit in shooting the 3rd man in the head. Same basic scenario as Bernard Goetz, the "Subway Shooter". Google old Bernie up. His brother was Dr David Goetz, chief of emergency Medicine at Our Lady of Mercy Medical Center in the Bronx. He was cute, Doctor Dave was! |
![]() ![]() For God's sake wise up! Stop using BUT multiple times in single sentences. That is dreadful writing. Awful grammar. F£%*ng annoying. Buy a bloody Thesaurus. Get a clue. For example, but/though/as can usually be interchanged to vary from aggravating your readers. Arrrrrgggg! Just stop it! Ciao. P.S. apart from the dreadful grammar the story is fairly good. Try proof reading before posting. And DO use spell and grammar checking please. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good Solid story. Thank you for writing. C |
![]() ![]() ![]() good |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey, I know it’s been a bit since you wrote this, but I just barely found it. It was recommended on a discord server as a good read. And I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for writing. I hope you’ve kept it up, and I intend to check out anything else you’ve posted. Thanks, G. |
![]() ![]() I enjoyed this story. Thank you for sharing it with us. |
![]() ![]() Yeah, Filch makes no sense except as a pity job. |
![]() ![]() "That he's been accepting bribes is serious as it is, and it will have many consequences if it's known to the ICW" So much for the ICW. It's now publicly documented, yet they do nothing. About as useless as the EU which is what I assume you based it on. You've got Orban in Hungary and the EU isn't doing shit about kicking him out. This isn't even getting into why you think the ICW has the authority to kick someone out for taking bribes when their only stated purpose is to ensure the Statute of Secrecy. Taking bribes has nothing to do with that. |
![]() ![]() I mean you're writing fanfiction on a site that actively solicits reviews. Complaining that some people who didn't like your fic posted a bad review on a site that actively encourages reviews is a little unrealistic? |
![]() ![]() ![]() The light are just as bad as the dark, albus could of stop tom but choose not to and now tries to make harry a killer |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interesting premise but tedious writing and constant of backtracking and repeated informations killed the excitement quickly. Skimmed to anti-climatic last chapters I was glad that I didn't waste my time to read the entire fics. |