Reviews for Invictus
RuneFather chapter 58 . 12/21/2022
Awesome
Little-Red711 chapter 21 . 12/16/2022
still don't like ino. she should know better. I think what she did was extremely stupid and shitty and no amounts of sorry is gonna make up for that. she knewher dad told her he was almost killed by someone so obviously traumatising and her going on a about its her fault that he's so bitter and hateful acknowledged the fact that she recognised that he was traumatised) he had trauma but she still did what she did not expecting backlash from that. so I think it should be swept under a rug as a "she didn't know" type of situation. but she did know that he had trauma and still did it anyway so it is not OK. own up to the fact that she made a mistake that wasn't OK and she needs to not use her clan jutsu every where
CrackedCeramic chapter 17 . 12/7/2022
Holy fuck another thing I just realized is that the only reason Naruto hasn't killed Sasuke at the beginning, isn't even really because Sasuke is a child who hasn't done anything. It seems like it was done for nothing else but his own peace-of-mind.. Atleast according to what he says during the Uchiha Massacre chapters and prior, and also what he said during chapter 19..

Huh.. Cool.
CrackedCeramic chapter 19 . 12/7/2022
"It would have been so easy to drive a kunai into Sasuke's head following his clan's massacre. So easy, but I decided to give him a chance."

I physically can't take this shit anymore. Not in such a short time span. I'm still trying to deal with chapters 17 and 18..

I'll keep this one short tho. The fucker didn't give Sasuke a chance... At all. Nobody has given Sasuke a chance in this entire story. Not Itachi. Not Inoichi. Not Hiruzen. Not Naruto. No one.

He tore Sasuke apart when all Sasuke did, was the same thing EVERYONE WHO TOOK KAKASHI'S BELL TEST DID!

He never gave this version of Sasuke a chance.. He never tried to have a heart to heart to him or anything.. He has been judging Sasuke upon who he [thought] he could've turned into in the future rather than who he is now.

The only person to give Sasuke a chance is Hinata & Rin.. And that shit has only JUST started right after chapters 17-18, and even then they're all still barely more than acquaintances. They aren't friends. Even in the Academy all Naruto and Rin did was piss Sasuke off rather than genuinely bond with him..
CrackedCeramic chapter 18 . 12/7/2022
This entire story is great but I had to hop off the guest account just to say this in a bit more of a personal manner.. These past two chapters have been the SECOND most painful chapters I've ever read.

The only reason these chapters aren't the MOST painful, is because the most painful award belongs to a fic that had a character(Naruto) go through the worst things a person being could possibly go through, every chapter over the course of dozens of chapters.

And tho the story may have disguised itself as a 'fleshed out Story', in retrospect it was probably just some absolute sadist psychopath's content dump.

Regardless, these two chapters are ranked #1 as the outright worst chapters about Sasuke that I've ever read..

This shit is genuinely sickening.. It's so bad I needed a fucking content warning, and it's literally just words on a screen.

Even if I disregard my endless complaints about every ethical and illogical word and action Naru said to 'Re-educate' or 'Fix' Sasuke.. Everyone else's opinion of Sasuke and prior and even CONTINUED treatment of him is pretty horrible. This is honestly worse than most bashing stories tbh.

—oOo—

I have no idea why anyone would think, physically beating and humiliating a traumatized 12-year-old, brow-beating them into submission and then ADMONISHING THEM: for normal human reactions, and judging them on actions they haven't made yet, based on a person THEY HAVENT BECOME YET—

—calling them numerous hateful things, calling them similar to someone who scarred and traumatized them, and then painting the kid as this terrible bad guy and horrible person at the end, is at all a GOOD IDEA

All that, and the most prevalent part of it is, that despite taunting Sasuke and giving him a whole new nightmare concept (Sasuke being the same as Itachi) Naruto goes on to take the moral superiority and verbally destroy Sasuke whilst making himself out to be this 'Great person who just wants to protect his friends' in the midst of it all.

And even after all this, and after putting Sasuke in a near catatonic state, the genius fucking plan is to leave him by himself? Leave him alone so he can YET AGAIN, come to what can very easily turn out to be an extremely faulty conclusion? And what will they do if he does? Blame him AGAIN?

—oOo—

Sasuke had nobody in this story. He had nobody in the original show, and somehow in this story he has even less.. Nobody cares for him in any way. Every concern 'about Sasuke' loops right back to someone else. So they're not really concerned about him at all, rather than concerned about the harm he can cause someone else.

Hiruzen & Anko? They don't care in the slightest about his mental-well being.. He's clearly more of an asset than a human-being. He's somehow regarded as even less than a Jinchuuriki.

Naruto from the beginning never cared. He's a giant hypocrite. Nearly everything he said about Sasuke can be picked apart and either applied to Naruto himself or dismissed entirely, but I'd be here all fucking day if I did that.

Kakashi? Kakashi somehow gives less of a fuck than Naruto does.. He has no intention to guide Sasuke in any way shape or form.

They all want Sasuke to be this perfect person, to be completely different from Itachi, to be this kind soul, yet they put no effort into making that shit true.. In fact they do the opposite, yet still expect him to be grateful and happy regardless.

Nobody guides Sasuke here. He's a 12 year old who went through some shit, and their response to that is to use some fucked up 'mind healing' to put him back together JUST ENOUGH for him to somewhat function as a regular human being and then they discard him alone with nothing but his own thoughts in the place his family fucking died in..

And when he inevitably lashes out in some way, or isn't stable, everyone gets disappointed in him as if they ever showed support in the first place.

—oOo—

Kakashi's first thought after understanding everything Naruto did to Sasuke is that "Yeah im disappointed in him." The minute Sasuke's own well-being is even remotely hinted at, it's immediately looped right back over to "Oh, if he's this reckless he can get his teamates hurt!"

And then Kakashi contemplates throwing him back in the Academy and possibly discharging him from the Shinobi corps in general..

So essentially, instead of helping the fucked up kid: Just discard and throw him away if he isn't good enough..

Like really, imagine he did discharge him.. What the fuck would that do? Do you expect anything positive to at all come from that? Do u expect Sasuke to at all be able to live even a slightly positive life if you do something of that nature?

Oh right, I almost forgot, they don't CARE.

If he lashed out after that they'd probably just lock him away and call it a day, patting themselves on the ass as they moan about how "It's such a shame" or "What a waste" as if they haven't directly led him to this point in the first place.

—oOo—

In this story, everyone else matters more than Sasuke. Raging has inadvertently written Sasuke as the most tragic character in the franchise. If I was in his shoes I'd kill myself.

I'd rather experience Naruto's, Kakashi's, or even Gaara's backstory, all at once, over this version of Sasuke's life.. They finally succeeded in browbeating a traumatized 12 year old into submission..

You said you tried to be 'unbiased' with Sasuke here, but I don't think you tried at all. You're a very self-aware and reflective person, there's no fucking way you can reread chapters 17 and 18 and think that entire sequence of events was fair or even remotely okay.

Bc I've seen some crazy shit but I can say bar that one other story I mentioned, these two chapters have been the worst I've ever read.
ghr501 chapter 58 . 12/7/2022
Fuck I love your fic so much please pick Hinata or both I don't want you to break Hinata or inos heart.
LoveLifeForever chapter 10 . 12/5/2022
I think I remember why I probably stopped reading this last time. Danzo living after this night is not excusable given your predilection for helping people change in this story.

This, this right here, is precisely what you talked about a few chapters back when you spoke of sticking to the plot too much out of worry about changing things.

Killing off the Uchiha actually didn't bother me for the reasons you already outlined, but Danzo should have died. You cannot leave a loose cannon like that alive in the village. Otherwise they would have just hushed up Orochimaru's experiments and moved on "for fear of the consequences". Boo fucking hoo.

IT'S WHY THEY KILLED THE UCHIHA IN THE FIRST PLACE, FOR FUCKS SAKE!

This strikes a nerve because we see it sooooo much in reality. And this story is about as far from reality as you can get.

There's no excuse not to level the playing field, secrets be damned. Just fucking call every secret a false flag attack and declare Danzo a nukenin posthumously.

Itachi already defied expectations. What's one more death in a night of such bloodshed? That... is what should have happened.

I'm gonna keep going, but one more shit fest like that will probably be it for me on this story.

You're a great writer, but you fell prey to your own fears. Ironic, no?
ZhaWarudo chapter 58 . 12/5/2022
Finally caught up. Excellent character development, good humor that in the first half bordered on crack.
You realized the problem yourself and went numerous times to edit old chapter, but I'd say there is still 15% too much pervy joking in the first half of the story.
Don't know what you were thinking, if it was worse before that and you didn't intent to write crack.
Incessant joking can get obnoxiously annoying.
Sasuke is basically a saint with how Naruto couldn't hold 10s of serious conversation with him, and continued to be a massive dickhead even after the bell test.

Naruto also disrespcted jonins in joint team training, acting like he was there to troll instead of train.

Dunno why you keep calling A, Ay. Did not no one try to correct you and where did you come up with that even?
No matter how well written this is, I won't be reading your other stories. Because you hide the lack of divergence with drama and humor. You could argue you did plenty of divergence, but all you did was a bunch of small twists.
How many times did Naruto leave Konoha? How long did it take for him to finally leave?
There are thousands of fics like this, and dozens of same quality and similar story.
For the same reason I won't be reading again the 7 years of Hogwarts with a twist, in a generic time travel Harry.
If you wrote Minato,Danzo,Hiruzen, Orochimaru or some Uzu MC, that'd be great. How would Danzo without bloodline or tailed beast become more than S rank, now that's a challenge.
I've read an SI who got into Orichimaru when he attempted to posses Sasuke, and he turned into an Ara Ara woman, now that's original and funny but not crack as expected.
There was one where Uzu SI made drones and just noped shinobi who tried to invade.
One where Elemental nations is just another island on the Grand Line.
What I haven't seen is ninjas in space, dunno if you like sci-fi. I'td be great if not just one or few, but the whole planet interacted with a galactic power as in WH40k or Starcraft or Mass Effect.
ShadowLightning1 chapter 39 . 12/4/2022
Often in Naruto fanfiction the Forest of death is one of the less interesting parts that both the author and the reader want to rush through to get to more interesting parts. In this fic The forest of death is full of great character moments and has the best fight yet. I remember reading it while the chapters were coming out and it made me excited for more. And now that I'm re-reading it I still love it.
hruaia chapter 10 . 12/4/2022
That sucked, you should make a drama tag on the front, as of this chapter it is mostly drama and un needed ones at that. There were a few justified expressions but, naruto or mc is quite dixlexsic dont know the right word but simply he is written is different feels for each chapter is how i can best describe it
ZhaWarudo chapter 51 . 12/3/2022
third time,in 3 different chapters, needed killedneeded killing or needed to be killed
ZhaWarudo chapter 47 . 12/3/2022
Ashina calls out on Naruto's lie about dreaming the visions, and then it gets ignored and he starts believing it, coming up with reasoning himself.
ZhaWarudo chapter 47 . 12/3/2022
I didn't expect it but here we go again, small gardening tool and a shit weapon only peasant ninjas used, is used to parry the massive leverage of a gigantic sword.
I've read fics that try to balance canon and add realism, no one fixed kunais as good for throwing explosive tags and literally nothing else.
ZhaWarudo chapter 46 . 12/2/2022
Nope, Orochimaru knew about Sasori, he's the one that removed his mind control from Kabuto, making him a double agent.
ZhaWarudo chapter 45 . 12/2/2022
that was stupid of orochimaru to continue to use ashina after the first disaster, even if for some reason he believed he didn't warn konoha
Ashina wank is a bit too much
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