Reviews for Invictus
Sh4wn chapter 7 . 1/3/2021
“Tis but a flesh wound” lol! Love this story
Nyll-Winter chapter 7 . 1/3/2021
Alright, so I think I understand why Kakashi did some of the things he did now. I got it before, but even then I felt like it just wasn't explained enough and I felt that he was being unnecessarily brutal.

Now, however, I see that he never planned on going anywhere near that far and it was the protagonist who actually pushed him to this point of near inhumane training. Thank you for this chapter it really cleared up some confusion and improved my opinion of Kakashi.

Once again, the POVs are amazing and I really enjoy how you continuously grab an issue and turn it into several enjoyable chapters. The reasoning behind Naruto dropping chakra-control exercises is actually pretty solid, and I whole-heartedly agree with the "I don't want Naruto to be ridiculously op come academy" statement. Those kinds of stories require specific circumstances in order to be enjoyable, this is unfortunately not one of those times.

However, the protagonist will keep up some sort of physical training, right? Some experience fighting in hand-to-hand combat is never a bad thing even if some of the stances and techniques will be less useful when he grows, and improving his physical body will not necessarily stunt his growth unless what he's doing is particularly strenuous.

But he has no need to improve his chakra capacity, and chakra-control should come after his growth-spurt so maybe at around 9-11? Should be enough time to get a decent enough control of their chakra before they become genin unless they decide to graduate early.

Loving the story so far and whilst I would ask more questions, I'll refrain and end this essay-long review and wait for the next chapter, that's about it see ya.
GreatT'Phon1of4 chapter 7 . 1/3/2021
Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Naruto's such a little shit.
Vini666 chapter 6 . 1/3/2021
this excuse for naruto not to train is very bad, he had better not even started training. the self should have good control and a weaker body, this way he would be strong but having weaknesses.
DragonNOOB chapter 6 . 1/2/2021
Well now even though these kind of stories are literally a dime a dozen. Somehow excellent stories will sometimes fall threw the crack if you look hard enough. I am deeply amazed to see how well written this story is. Many stories are written well but few are written this well. Keep up the amazing work.
plums chapter 6 . 1/2/2021
Honestly... you've totally destroyed Kakashi as any sort of reliable / positive character going forward.

Naruto cannot NOT respond to this. Seriously, give him some sort of positive means to respond/react/pursue other than him.

Naruto learning to fight and still never reacting to abuse is just as bad as canon's dumbass who can't fight his way out of a paper bag and never responds to abuse.
GreatT'Phon1of4 chapter 5 . 1/2/2021
Ouch. Stabbing Kakashi in the giant festering wound that is Rin and Obito is just cruel. Especially since he knows what happened. Hopefully he's smarter about people and life than Kakashi was at his age.
Nyll-Winter chapter 5 . 1/2/2021
Looking forward to the story so far and I really must applaud you for how you grabbed something you didn't want to write about and turned it into a little arc and an extremely enjoyable prologue/few chapters instead of just skipping it with a halfassed vague explanation of the events. I don't mind the stories that do that kind of thing but I just really must applaud you for that, it was an extremely unique way of going around the problem whilst still giving yourself and the audience an interesting prologue.

You nailed that shit.

Question though, will this story be taking after the anime or the manga? For example, in the manga, Hiruzen apparently ordered the termination of the Uchiha's but in the anime, it was actually Danzo who went behind the Hokage's back and ordered Itachi to do it. Just curious about which one you're planning to go for.

The split POVs (Especially Sarutobi & Inoichi's) truly brighten up my reading experience, holy shit, they're just great and really make reading this interesting. And I love how you wrote about Hiruzen's thoughts on why Naruto is acting the way he is and shifted over to Orochimaru and what reasons he believed he has fallen so far into darkness.

I like how you don't make the entire village out to be same delusional, rampaging, moron stereotype that this website's so fond of. And overall making them serve some other purpose besides antagonizing the protagonist.

The character's actually feel like living breathing people that experience life like we do instead of bland, boring, NPCs, written to just affect the protagonist in some way. The protagonist showing fear and nervousness to battles he will soon, in less than a decade have to fight, and how his actions can quite literally affect whether or not the planet is destroyed or not, makes him feel more life-like and also tells me he is not some naive child under the assumption all things will work out and this makes me like him MORE.

The fact that the protagonist has a sister is the icing on the cake for this story. It's so fucking sweet.

I'd love to see how far you take this story! And whilst I would ask more questions, I'll refrain and end this essay-long review and wait for the next chapter, that's about it see ya.
Enduroman1 chapter 5 . 1/1/2021
Okay Im loving the story so far hope you update soon
Eddyonline chapter 5 . 1/1/2021
Great series, happy that I found it when it was just starting. Love the concept and way your developing the story. Can’t wait to see how the story will change with a hard working Naruto, as that’s the best part of this type of FF to me. Overall, I really like the story so far and can’t wait for the next update.
GreatT'Phon1of4 chapter 4 . 12/31/2020
Thanks for the shenanigans. Keep up the good work!
Flygar chapter 3 . 12/30/2020
... did Inoichi seal his mind?
Flygar chapter 1 . 12/30/2020
...I think you meant writing instead of righting, but that could have been on purpose.
Hit1903 chapter 3 . 12/30/2020
Why doesn't he remember. It would be too boring if he doesn't remember anything worthwhile
Val'Hor chapter 1 . 12/27/2020
This looks promising but there are too many flashbacks, I think it would be better to give the scenes in the chronological order than going back all the time. Your flashbacks take so many words that what you used to introduce them becomes unnecessary filler. Keep up the good work, there doesn't seem to be any problem with you grammar or your writing in general.
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