Reviews for Kahs-wan Ritual
Kehlan chapter 13 . 3/3
Did I ever tell you just how much I like T'Vish? She is so calm and polite but she completely wiped the floor with that shopkeeper. I think Mimi has made a good friend there.
RobertBruceScott chapter 13 . 2/26
It's not every day you get to out-vulcan a vulcan..

This is a fun chapter and a fitting analogue for the varieties of prejudice we experience daily. One of the many purposes of sci-fi (or I should say uses) is to hold a mirror up to our culture.

Thanks! rbs
RobertBruceScott chapter 12 . 2/23
I really liked the interlude with the carpenter. An appropriate individual to pass along Surak's wisdom and it provides a good contrast with the other shop keeper.

Interesting that you chose not to resolve that issue - a good emotional cliffhanger.

Thanks! rbs
Kehlan chapter 12 . 2/22
Poor Mimi. Somehow you really don't expect this sort of discrimination and racism (for want of a better word) from logical Vulcans.
I do like the first shop keeper, the artist. Although maybe it is the artistry that makes him more open to new influences. There's a very interesting correlation as well between the Phoenix and the Firebird.
And Ive said it before and I know I will say it again... I REALLY like T'Vish and her burgeoning friendship with Mimi. That's going to confuse a lot of people.
Kehlan chapter 11 . 2/21
I do wish I could have been there to see the look on Sordd's face when she told him she was going shopping with T'Vish... and Mimi's realisation that her very logical husband is nervous of the Priestess. I think T'Vish likes Mimi and is going to end up becoming a sort of Vulcan mother figure to her, much to everyone else's surprise.
RobertBruceScott chapter 11 . 2/20
I'm glad you decided to separate this into three chapters. It helped give this part of the scene more weight and focus on Sordd's surprise and hesitation about Mimi's pending interaction with T'Vish. Which gives T'Vish more substance as a character and builds some suspense about which characteristics make her a potentially intimidating character.

Thanks! rbs
Kehlan chapter 10 . 2/15
Avarak is doing very well. You paint a vivid picture of the dangers he faces and make it all feel very real, as though we too are in the Forge.
RobertBruceScott chapter 10 . 2/15
Really nice pain control meditation - and also fear control mantras. These give a really good look into an alien culture.

And are potentially useful...

Thanks! rbs
RobertBruceScott chapter 9 . 2/8
We could definitely use some of T'Vish's serenity in these days. Very well drawn character and a fun exploration of vulcan culture through her presence and through Mimi's POV.

Thanks! rbs
Kehlan chapter 9 . 2/8
Oooh, a cliff hanger. I hope that Avarak will be all right.
Have to say, I really love the conversation with T'Vish, that priestess is just brilliant, she is so down to earth (or should I say Vulcan?) and displays a very logical kindness to Mimi. I hope we see more of her.
Kehlan chapter 8 . 2/1
Nice exploration of how scary this must all be for Mimi, and how alien it is to send out your child to maybe die without any help. We are forcibly reminded that Sordd is not human and does not think like a human.
and quite a cliffhanger, to know that a child has been injured and they don't know if its Avarak or not. And even if this child is not Avarak, that doesn't automatically mean that Avarak is ok.
RobertBruceScott chapter 8 . 2/1
Happy to be of assistance. As I remarked earlier, this chapter, with its exploration of the alienness of vulcans is what science fiction is for.

Thanks! rbs
Kehlan chapter 7 . 1/21
Nice cliff hanger! And don't worry about Canon. As you say, even canon isn't sure about canon. Stay true to your own canon and be consistent within your own interpretation of the Trek Universe and you'll be fine.
I do like your attention to detail. Your chapters are always full of interesting information without sounding like a school text book.
RobertBruceScott chapter 7 . 1/19
Nice detail on the inner eyelid - a feature of vulcans that saved Spock's eyesight in Operation: Annihilate (original series).

And I'm assuming we have encountered some sort of carnivorous plant - which gives an alien feel to the landscape and introduces an element of classic horror - the seemingly innocuous turned deadly.

I'm a big fan of strong, short chapters like this that pack a lot of content into a very small word count.

Thanks! rbs
RobertBruceScott chapter 6 . 1/9
Nice balance between description, dialogue and action. Both sections have a nice flow - it looks like you spent some time editing.

Also enjoying Avarak's thought process. Good balance between Sordd and Mimi's emotions.

Thanks! rbs
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