Reviews for The Focal Point
shai0 chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
Great story, great rendering of the characters. I was distressed when Snake vaished from Hal's radar :D
MsBokkyaku chapter 1 . 12/17/2007
This is wonderfully in character and sweet, yet not sappy. It's hard to find good MGS fics that remembers about Hal and Dave's friendship before they became something more. They're partners, no matter what they feel for each other, and I think you did an awesome job of preserving that. It's really all about trust and teamwork and dependency and adventure with a large sprinkle of gay hawtness...

DLASKJDLAS and I was doing so well with this review! I sounded almost coherent. Anyway, *faved*!

MsB
Redundant Goddess chapter 1 . 7/22/2007
Fantastic story, action packed and the scenes between Dave and Hal were brilliant. Very well done. R.G X
Konoha-Crash chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
wow, how sweet! I loved this story, one of the best ive read in a long time!
Elendraug chapter 1 . 12/27/2004
This is the first fic I've read in a while that actually had me "on the edge of my seat." God, I was so worried that this would be a brutally realistic deathfic. Actually, I would've been content if it'd ended that way, but the lovely shounen-ai was greatly appreciated as well. Thanks for sharing this.
dietpepsi chapter 1 . 4/25/2004
I read this a long time ago and never got around to submitting a review... bad Caz, bad! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I adore this fic. Actually, I've been carrying it around in a folder with some others due to my lack of an online connection and guarding it with my life. _ You seem to be one that's been writing for a long time and understands that a good fanfic doesn't need to be chock full of angst in order to be good. And if you -do- chock it full of angst, you do it quite tastefully!
A few of my favorite moments include:
"And without warning, the reassuring little green dot at the center of the radar blipped once, twice, and disappeared entirely."
There's more profundity in this single sentence than a lot of fanfic authors get in their entire 'career.' And I loved the "god forbid." Gotta love foreshadowing. ;)
Just as a nitpick, there were a few typos, but that really didn't detract from the overall value and meaning of the fic. I enjoyed it immensely. A job. :D And I'm adding it to my favorites list because I can. Probably will stalk you on AIM as well.
Whitney Johnson chapter 1 . 4/17/2004
Lovely!
kinneas chapter 1 . 4/11/2004
"Things were not all that different, now—there’d been no confessions of undying love, no timid first times; the world was still out there and he was still in here."
That line sums it up best, really. I enjoy this fic more than I can possibly put into words. You've managed to form a believable relationship without pulling out the shoujo manga-machine, with enough gripping plot and action aspects to keep your readers interested.
This is one of those fics that I print out and carry with me everywhere I go. Kudos to you.
Croik chapter 1 . 3/12/2004
Okay, so this story is old, and you're gonna wonder why you're getting a review for it now, but I just played through MGS again and was on a rampage looking for good fics.
I really liked this fic! It was well written and very sweet :D. Your portrayal of Otacon was excellent! It made me happy -
The only suggestion I could give would be not to switch between Otacon and Hal so much ;;.
Thanks for sharing this fic!
mouse chapter 1 . 2/19/2004
One of the best - and one of the most in character - great job. I REALLY liked this one. And you've got a great writing style, too. That helps. :3
The PenMaster chapter 1 . 12/6/2003
Oh, that's so good. I was just browsing through a search engine for MGS2 slash and I found this - I have to say, it's one of the best - if not, THE best - I've ever read.
Just. Wow.
FrozenBlueIce chapter 1 . 10/22/2003
*sniffles* That was really sweet. I'm a MAJOR Snake/Otacon 'shipper. Great story! Great descriptions! Great suspense! Wonderfully written! Need I say more?
Nicky chapter 1 . 6/19/2003
Kawaii I must say. Very neat & just the right length also. You should do more Metal Gear fanfiction, you have a lot of talent _
bittersweetKandy chapter 1 . 6/18/2003
Yay! There are not many good mgs/mgs2 shounen ai fics out there, so I'm glad I stumbled upon this one! You have made my day! Not too mushy, but very satisfying. And lotsa action and angst, too! Must've been hell for Otacon to see Snake just disappear and then fight off a bunch of soldiers in the same night... But it ended well, too - Snake and Otacon are just so adorable together in this fic! *adds you to fave authors list* Hope to see more stories from you soon!

bittersw33t
pikonako chapter 1 . 6/16/2003
Bravo! I liked your approach. I liked it very, very much. I find your version of their relationship very realistic. Looking forward to more of your stories. *goes off to read your other fics*
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