Reviews for Magical Mayhem
anonymous chapter 6 . 3/27/2004
melluvben chapter 6 . 1/19/2004
Oh my gosh you have to finish, and quickly I'll die without it.
great story
cloudofcalm chapter 6 . 9/2/2003
Okay, except for the thing where most people think, and write Lorne as gay, it was a pretty good chapter, even if it's from the annoying one.

I liked the first bit, with the line, 'So, how often do you dream about Britney Spears?' Very, very funny, and you got the timing right.

You still need to work on your proper noun capitalization, and various other small things, but considering what this story starts with, it's a huge improvement.

Now get off your butt, and work out a plotty story, rather than update bad ones.

Pyro Bear chapter 6 . 9/1/2003
Okay. Time and time again I told you, Disney World is seperated into different parks. But that's the only part that made me go "bleh". I do look foward to some plottish parts.
huffybuffy chapter 5 . 8/13/2003
Please update! good story though. You need to have a bit of a broody angel though. the story isn't the same without him.
Reve Brulant chapter 5 . 7/8/2003

That was really good! I can't wait for the trip to DW it sounds very interesting. KUTGW!
jan chapter 5 . 7/4/2003
i like this story so far when connor asks his dad if tammy can go have angel tell him no it's a "family" vacation
jan chapter 5 . 7/4/2003
i like this story so far when connor asks his dad if tammy can go have angel tell him no it's a "family" vacation
Illyria04 chapter 5 . 7/3/2003
kool keep goin
Jamie chapter 1 . 7/2/2003
Hey, I went back and read Angel's Gift and you said that Connor was 13. So he should be twenty. Dawn too for that matter.
Pyro Bear chapter 5 . 7/1/2003
It's okay if it's short, I love Veronica, now we can use a bit more color, eye color?
Jamie chapter 4 . 6/30/2003
I'm a little confused about something: wasn't Connor already with Angel with Skylar was adopted? He was 13 right? So if he was 13 when she was adopted and now she's seven wouldn't he be 20 and not have to go on the family trip?

I like your story, the only thing I wish you would do is address the fact that some of the other family members might feel some bitterness about Sky always getting her way and being Angel's favorite. Dawn is starting too, and I hope that goes some where.
Jen chapter 4 . 6/28/2003
Much better, though Connor is horribly out of character. Skylar was much better. Much more seven-ish, though it would be nice if you had other characters (besides just Dawn) think she was a bit much at times. Parents get exasperated with their kids all of the time, so we need to see that dynamic grow a bit. Family vacations are often the most wearying times when you have young kids. Also, characters like Gunn would definitely have trouble putting up with a kid for a five hour plane ride or (heaven forbid) a long car ride.

Still, much better, though the father/son dynamic you're trying to develop between Angel and Connor reads as forced, out of character, and just kind of weird.
Pyro Bear chapter 4 . 6/28/2003
Very cool on Skylare being a bit whiny and so no Tammy huh? Too bad, always could be fun. But the Incredible Hulk is Universal, although it is in close enough I guess. They can go to Sea World too...hehehe. Sea World...I had fun there.
cloudofcalm chapter 4 . 6/28/2003
S'better. A few slips, namely, Fred's 'waste', but well done on the revisions. It's much more in character, and the chapter itself works well.

Glad to see Chad back. Like the Chad. [grin] He funny. My mind is kinda not on fic atm, but I decided to check this out, anyway.

So, much better.

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