|Reviews for Sisterly Love|
| Pond the Wiener Dog chapter 7 . 10/25/2003
Muahahaha told you i would come and review this! lol like i saiid in my email i think its great! lol well i'm off to read "somewhere else" so until i review that! lol farewell for now, namarie! Radiion
| cysne chapter 7 . 9/15/2003
I’m sorry to say that I this shall be a bit brutal... There are some things which I must say that you might not like to hear/ read, but it’s necessary, otherwise I’d be lying with every little teeth I’ve got...
The first thing that jumps to the eye is the primordial state in which this fic is. It feels like nothing but a sketch. The story could have been more developed and more worked on some aspects (that were left suspending in midair as it is, so much potential gone to complete waste). It’s like when you add spices to food to make it more interesting!
Another thing is characters and their space. It was suffocating the way things went by. You gave them no room! One day, Legolas goes to Rivendell to accompany a mysterious stranger, the very moment he sets eyes on her he’s in love (ok, there is always love at first sight, yeah... but still...) at starts hugging her all over, so that the next day they’re all intimate already and kissing. I tell you, it was suffocating – no better word than that – how fast the story unravelled itself. Remember, characters are meant to be like real people, and hence they’re all different, each has their needs imposed by their unique personality! You can’t overrun that!
It wouldn’t have been this serious, were you writing in metaphors (?) or (don’t know how to say it in English) alegorias (Allegories? Allegoric?). Things work differently there, I know, but this is not the case. I’m not sure I’m making myself very clear, but if you don’t understand what I mean, you should read Gil Vicente’s “Auto da Índia” (Again, I know only the Portuguese title, but “Auto” is a “theatre play” and “da Índia” is, well... “of India”!) I highly recommend, everything becomes very clear there as time and space are very relative and years go by as seconds do. If you’d like to read it and can’t find it, let me know, I’ll be more than glad to personally translate it for you and send via email!
I don’t know if you’ve ever read any of my stuff, but I’m going to give you some lights on a couple of my “golden rules” in writing. I dunno, maybe you’ll find them actually helpful...
1) Filter what to write – I usually try to write only things that are important/ matter to the story, instead of stuffing and overloading it with useless straw. I think it actually helps in creating a more realistic environment, as stories are told by someone’s point of view. Therefore, one must realise that what this someone is going through is his/ her present (there are exceptions, of course, but this is your case here), while the writer/ narrator is reporting to the past. Present stuff always feels more important than past, right? There.
2) Write. Sleep on it and let your mind un-saturate of the story. Next day, reread what you’ve written as if you were the reader and not the author. Remember, readers know only what you tell them, while you always have the advantage on seeing clearly the scenes you write about and the plotline. I like to think of little ants with no idea of where they’re heading, while someone above sees their whole course as one full thing alone. Keep that in mind, I think it’s one of the most important things you have to keep in mind when writing.
And (the subject always seems to come around, doesn’t it?) Mary Sues...
The real problem with Mary Sues is how unrealistic (and, therefore, unbearable) they can be. Everyone (be they man, elf or dwarf, since we’re in the LotR universe here) has their qualities and their flaws. No one is perfect. No one can be the best at every little bloody thing they do, there are always things at which you’re good/ excellent and things at which you’re bad! That is the way of life and there is no changing it!
I’m sure there were lots more stuff I wanted to say, but my sweet, darling computer did me the favour of deleting the text for the review that I was going to send you. This is a second shot... And unfortunately that’s not all. I tend to loose track of all I wanted to say, and I’m sure I even forgot more before that, so you’ll have to settle with this.
Another thing I want to tell you is not to hesitate if you’d like to comment/ ask/ whatever anything! Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m almost starting to feel that you’re some sort of ‘protegé’ of mine when it comes to this... Heck!
Say... Now I’m wondering on something... how to put this...
I have a little idea for a story that’s still on a very sketchy phase. And I mean VERY, there’s no ending and only the main streaks are vaguely defined! Anyway, it would be like a Romance/ Humour fic that takes place in Mirkwood after the end of the war. Would you like to co-author it? I wasn’t going to write it, but if I had someone else working on it with me, then things would certainly be different! I know you don’t have much time – I don’t either! – but we could take it slowly... I actually considered giving it up to another author, but then at the last moment realised that it was MY fic, and I had to have a say in what it was going to become...
PLEASE, let me know something, ok?
| Legiodith chapter 2 . 6/20/2003
Ju! This is coming along great, keep it up! _
But ... I wanna know why Phoebe is smiling in a rather evil fashion in the darkness. o.o
Update soon! _
Namarie, mellon nin,
| cysne chapter 1 . 6/15/2003
*Love is in the air... ta-na-na-na-na-na...*
oops! sorry, couldn't help it (and i absolutely hate that ugly... well... corny song! urgh!
anyway, doing good! hope you get more people reading this one! *crosses fingers* ;)