Reviews for Jaune Arc: The All-Rounder |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Yeeeeeey! God, Karmealion, your chapter is like a sip of fresh water. I spent quite of time going through Harem Barrage community, looking for normal RWBY harems with more than 60k words and not on hiatus for years... What I found? Nothing :)) Or just nothing interesting enough to give it a try right now, when you are fully in story after first chapter. So yes, I've very need this chapter to up my mood a bit. )) Ok. To chapter itself ) Father is still overprotective - don't say I like this, because it will lead to much more suffer for Jaune after he will "lay his hands on father's little daughters". Just hope girls will protect their boyfriend, otherwise they risk becoming widows before becoming mothers (and it wouldn't be grimms fault), haha Jaune is doing cool. His interection with girls - oh, I really like it. Also how he gave Black some feed for thoughts. Glynda... yes. She is really good here. Like her a lot, wish her end in the harem (always liked teacher/student spices in the fanfiction, it always such a lot fun or drama, I prefer first XD ). I have a lot more to say, but it is hard when you are from Russia (sorry for my mistakes) and usually only read English and rarely write yourself. So, as always good luck with all your endeavors. Drooling for the next chapter. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Congrats, you upended my expectations of how Blake would interact with Jaune and made it exceedingly entertaining not to mention her comparing Jaune to the apparent cover of her book. Also surprised with the everyone is accepted rule since other stories literally used Initiation as qualifiers(cullings in some of the darker ones) to attend Beacon. Still, with that stipulation in mind, I do wonder how different Initiation's rules and conditions for victory will be in comparison. Also intrigued by the gender ratio in general. I would hazard a guess and say that it was due to a lot of men dying off in the Great War but the fact that this is the norm after Aura's discovery and propagation is unusual to me but I guess that's another reason why Jaune's family is overprotective of him. Still nuts but I can see why they did what they did. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The whole outfit thing at the end there feels very jarring and forced. It makes absolutely no sense, outside of Goodwitch deliberately and intentionally intending to insult and humiliate Jaune. We know there is adequate clothing to wear at Beacon, because they supply uniforms to their students. At the very least, Goodwitch could easily have provided a pair of real pants and shirt, if nothing else. Then, on top of that, her behavior as she forces him to change in front of her, while openly staring at him? That's creepy as fuck. Especially as you explain soon after that this is a reverse gender world, so its exactly as creepy as if an older guy forced a younger woman to change in front of him into whats effectively skimpy lingerie that they would then have to wear in public. Like... the fuck? Huge tonal shift, man. Very jarring to my suspension of disbelief. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thsnks you for making this story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() A nice calm before the storm chapter. Now with more students then normal enrolling to beacon, would any if them might recognize our Arc boy? or worst, working for the arc fanily... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thanks for the chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thanks by the chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() The real question is, what will the teams be? |
![]() ![]() ![]() And so now initiation beckons... It's an interesting suggestion, going for an imbalanced gender ratio in the world of Remnant. It would explain an awful lot, even in the show. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Voy a suponer que es igual a uno de los personajes de Ninjas of love y ese traje no ayuda a su causa. Jajaja magnífico trabajo me encanto este capitulo, sobre todo los diálogos de Nora y Ren. Espero con ansias el próximo capítulo muchas gracias. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice sweet bridge chapter into I guess more branching off of canon events as initiation turns into a value demonstration exercise on top of being able to join beacon and choosing teams |
![]() ![]() ![]() Overall, I think you've found your "groove" for this story now. The action started to seem passable in the last chapter, and with you moving back towards more character drama like in the first chapter, the story is starting to play to your strengths again. Good job. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your action scenes need some work. Having comic-bookie sound effects to punctuate a scene does not work well at all. At best it makes your writing cheesy, at worst it makes an important scene outright laughable. |
![]() ![]() Wierdly unexpectedly good writing for a Harem fic. Will impatently wait for updates until it dies in an indefinite Hiatus 4 chapters from now. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The Best. It's just the best, from what I've read until now in RWBY fanfiction. This story has exactly all what I like in harem stories, and I have absolutely nothing to complain about. With all this, I don't know what to add )) Maybe just wish you best luck in everything you start, would it be real life or fanfiction, you real earned my deep gratitude, and you deserve it, dude :) Hope for next masterpiece chapter as soon as possible. |