I came across your work "JSPR" and was captivated by the depth and diversity of the characters and world. I believe it would translate beautifully into a comic, and I’d love to help bring it to life.

I’m an experienced commission artist specializing in adapting stories into comics. If you’re interested, we can discuss the details, pricing, and payment methods in a clear and professional manner.

Discord: graphic_gold
Twitter: VKox139175
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I look forward to hearing from you!

After two years of waiting to see how you’d continue this story, I have to say, I was certainly entertained by what was presented here… though admittedly a bit jarred by the amount of exposition. Granted, Sherwood IS a Sherlock Holmes analogue so that’s understandable. And, while I’m admittedly not big on those mystery novels/shows to begin with, your take on a big crime solving angle like this was interesting to read through.

I will say though, the villains of this chapter, while they all seem to have clear cut personalities and appearances, still come off as kind of generic grunts aside from Clay and Cinnabar. Then again, I suppose that’s the point since we’re not likely gonna be seeing them again after this. Just a little nitpick since I really liked the rest of what this chapter had to offer.

As for the action scene, all I have to say is… damn, Sherwood’s pretty powerful if he can get people’s Auras to break that easily. Usually one would be able to take quite a beating before their Auras break, but I suppose since these grunts aren’t experienced Huntsmen, that’s to be expected. Also, I couldn’t help but notice how Sherwood just unabashedly left these lowlifes just utterly broken. Like, no remorse whatsoever, even if they’re just small-time criminals. Of course, he comes off as the type who’s rather emotionally detached, so I wonder if that’ll change in the future.

Of course, Sherwood DOES at least seem emotionally invested in finding this Moors fellow. One can only wonder just what sort of grudge he has against him, if any. And with the lead he’s found in Vale, sounds like he might be closing in on his target. Looking forward to where this all leads!

And with that, I think I’ve covered just about everything! Looking forward to the next update, my friend (and hopefully this one won’t take another two years, lol). Keep up the good work!

Great job with this chapter trailer of OC based on Sherlock Holmes. I can’t wait for the other two Oc trailers. Keep up with the good work.

So his semblance appears to be fast paced calculations to figure out every angle he can work to his advantage while his weapon is a magnifying glass with hard-light dust (probably to form melee weapons or other handheld gadgets) that can turn into a handgun.

Looks like the S part of the team is the brains, but he can still kick some serious S!

The explosion was fun.

Thanks for the help, Clay.

Hey! Loved the trailer, please go on! I'd love to see where this goes!

Finally got around to reading this. Sorry it took so long.

All in all, this is a pretty good start. Established a relatively mysterious character, his struggles, and his next step. Not bad at all. Very promising. I’m interested to see what happens next.

We even got a cool little fight scene too, always a plus. Beowolves really are the perfect cannon fodder enemies for “trailers,” aren’t they? Scary enough to pose a threat, especially the Alpha you threw in, but also believable beatable for our tormented protagonist, and a good chance to show off their skills.

I’m intrigued by the relationship between Ed and Jasper here. Especially the whole two aura’s thing. They really seem to be two people trapped in one body. I’d love to see their relationship evolve, or at the very least grow to be less at odds with one another.

Anyway, I’d be down to read more once it’s ready. Looking forward to that day.

Sorry this took so long I kept meaning to but then forgetting to check it out like you asked.

Honestly, the first chapter didn't really keep my interest. I had no idea what was going on for like most of the chapter, it wasn't until near the end I realized what you were trying to do with the character. A tip for the start, when you describe someone don't spend a whole large paragraph on just that. It should flow out more naturally. Like you can start on a few things but then add in lines like (I forget what he looks like by this point sorry so here's just an example) "His long green coat sways a bit as he moved, adjusting his black cut off gloves to feel a bit better against his tanned skin" see how in one sentence I got 3 descriptions out without resorting to making it sound like a police description report? Now you can describe things like you were but just not spend lines and lines of text on it. It can be a bit boring at times and you got to be aware of that for new readers.

The accent is a little annoying for me to read as I have to slow down and really try and see what they are saying but that's just personal taste there.

The fight scene was done well so you got nothing to worry about that.

Personally I just don't really care much for fics based around OC teams as the main characters. I just prefer to read about the actual characters of the fandoms for the most part. I mean side or non-main characters sure those are excellent to flesh out stories. It's just personal taste is all that I don't really like these types of stories. I find them hard to keep me interested as most OCs are either over powered or not very interesting, then you get the writers that make edgelords and those are never really fun for me to read.

overall it's a bit of a rough start, better way of description, some kind of reason why they are there would help as feeling lost for most of this chapter didn't help me get into it. Other than that it is well written, I just think I would prefer to read stuff by you other than OC based stories is all.

I really enjoyed it. Jasper and Ed seem like a really fun character to work with, especially Ed (I will be severely dissapointed if we never hear his say "It's chewsday, 'innit bruv!?") The way they work is also really interesting, both ability and chemistry wise.
I feel like you could go with partially being more descriptive though during fights almost. What you're doing is really good, but I feel like if you added maybe a little more it would feel more whole.

Still, the chapter itself was really good and I'm excited to see where you take this. Because it feels like this is going really good places.

I'm glad that you were able to post this, as i feel like the RWBYverse deserves more quality OC stories. I can't wait to meet the rest of the Team, too!

We need more of this

This is a more entertaining Hulk/Bruce Banner relationship you have going on here, and I find it rather interesting.

MajorBrony! You definitely did a good job with this trailer! Personally, you managed to reveal a lot about Jasper and Ed in this trailer without revealing too much of what you have in store for us!

Keep doing well, my dude! I hope you end up doing these character dynamics perfectly! I personally think that Jasper and Ed are gonna be mainstay characters honestly. I look forward to their development.

Awesome work my friend! :D

Definitely loved the whole Jekyll and Hyde scenario there, especially the transformation and the conversations between the two. Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Well, this was certainly quite the exciting first go-around! I have to say, Jasper seems like the kind of guy who definitely has a lot of mental health issues with a voice like ED in his head. Can’t wait to see how things with these two go (along with seeing just what your other OC’s are like).

I must say, I’m really digging how you handled Jasper’s weapons and Ed’s rampage was really fun as well. Can’t fault these two for one thing; they may not get along, but they sure do know how to fight! Also, great music choice. My favorite Skillet song.

As for who should voice Jasp, I’m really only familiar with the Leonardo VO you mentioned, so I’ll have to look up what Yusei sounds like. Plus I’ll have to refresh myself on what Drako sounds like as well for Ed’s voice, too.

Hm, headed to Vale, are they? Why do I sense shenanigans about to happen... In any case, as someone who’s very familiar with RWBY AU fanfics, I look forward to seeing how THIS one in particular turns out. Good luck going forward and I eagerly await the next update!

Omni