Reviews for The Guise of Family
LtKettch chapter 1 . 3/19
Wonderful story. I love the interaction between Harry and Lyra. I also love that there is so much mystery still surrounding them and the island. I think it’s great that you have added such fully fleshed out original characters.
I don’t know what to say about Whispers and Brandt. They are just awesome. I keep rooting for the “goodness” in Brandt to triumph and lead the House of Black into the light. Maybe with the combined forces of Lyra, the Tonks, Sirius, and Brandt.
I know much of the sequel is already written, but please don’t let Arcturus corrupt the Island. Well I’m off to find out what you wrote. Thanks for sharing your work.
CoSmO333 chapter 105 . 3/17
amazing thanks for sharing
tylor13roney chapter 21 . 2/13
i wonder of there is any actual reason he lied about the scar
tylor13roney chapter 8 . 2/12
if harry does not become dark ill call bullshit lol.

i dont mean dark ill conquer the world.

i mean dark ill kill all the fucks who did this to him.

for fucks sakes even the abbots did nothing to help the boy who lived their fucking idol.

i would not blame if harry just wants to burn the wizards down just for not truly caring or helping him.

and if he forgives Dumbledore ill truly be pissed haha
Aausdmr chapter 25 . 2/10
Ok couldnt even make it through the full chapter. What the hell was that? Talk of a new house being founded after a millennia because of a random girl? Yeah noping outta this one. The reminder in how you absolutely newtered the parseltongue ability was also a sucker punch. Shame. Potential wasted with cringeworthy plot progression.
Aausdmr chapter 25 . 2/10
Ok so that hat stall thing is so ridiculously stupid i have half a mind to stop here. But ill try continue since its actually well written despite this. Hopefully no more cringeworthy shit again.
nexusplayer chapter 27 . 2/7
Slytherin in the house
Guest chapter 8 . 12/12/2023
Volunteer Insomniac chapter 17 . 12/6/2023
I really liked the island stuff, but I'm really not liking the Britain stuff. it doesn't seem like it's been thought through like the island stuff, to me it seems like it's not being treated seriously, and the logistics of how Dumbledore has been "taking care" of Harry don't really make any sense unless he's just a horrible person that sees Harry as just a chess piece to be sacrificed, especially with how him being missing is being covered up.
and the way the characters are acting and talking, isn't Snape meant to be a complete ass with lily as his only soft spot? I can imagine him sympathizing with Harry now that he knows what he's been through, but he seems to instead just be antisocial and friends with McGonagall? and as an occlemancy master he has to make McGonagall stop him from hurting the dursleys?
I've definitely enjoyed the first 15 or so chapters, but with how the rest is written idk if I'll keep reading. I think the concept of the first 15 chapters could have just bee the entire story tbh because it's very unique and well executed, and has a lot of potential that seems like it will be cut short atm.
Volunteer Insomniac chapter 15 . 12/6/2023
I again have a problem with the dialogue, I think you're giving away too much info directly through dialogue. e.g. here Dumbledore talking about investigating where has gone, he says "you may want to visit Arabella figg who lives near them. she has been watching them for me and used to occasionally babysit for Harry as well." I think this is explained in too many words and my image of Dumbledore is of someone who enjoys saying things indirectly. the way I'd write this is maybe "I'd heard from Arabella that she was keeping an eye on harry" or something similar and add extra info if necessary. I believe that the dialogue is too straightforward or at least presented that way.
Volunteer Insomniac chapter 14 . 12/6/2023
I think the dialogue needs some work, it feels off to me. imo the dialogue doesn't feel very natural, as people, children especially, aren't able to express traumatic memories as easily as Harry and Lyra do.
other than that, good chap
Volunteer Insomniac chapter 2 . 12/5/2023
good chapter, though imo it seems a bit stiff, (im goijg to use the first paragraph as a example) as in it just tells you about the dursleys, but another way that I am personally more partial to is providing the same information through in-universe means e.g. Vernon comes in all happy, talking about securing a rich investor. this tells me he is high-up in his workplace indirectly which I like a lot when i see it.
I can't find anything else that can be improved, pretty solid overall.
envirosue chapter 16 . 11/4/2023
Omg chuck norris jokes hp style. Oh how I laughed! Thank you
nexusplayer chapter 58 . 10/24/2023
The rainbow serpent is hailed as a creator god that shapes the lands!
Even mentions of it having eggs that cracked open during a flood
nexusplayer chapter 36 . 10/24/2023
Quidditch is bull shit.
It's a catch to win game.
You can't change my mind
635 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »