|Reviews for The Bet|
| Sakura Snape-Malfoy chapter 18 . 3/10
Just thought of something. You never said how old Harry is. All we know is that he graduated from Hogwarts and that a former group of 1st years were there when he was a 7th year.
| Sakura Snape-Malfoy chapter 15 . 3/10
Why is Harry crying so much? He's not the one pregnant, Severus is. Why Ron for the Potions assistant? He was worse than Harry, he probably ranked up there with poor Neville. Why not Hermione? She was better than Ron, Neville, and Harry.
| Sakura Snape-Malfoy chapter 13 . 3/10
I didn't say anything for the chapter 7 review because I was hoping it would be explained a little bit more later. But, the reason why Harry and Severus were separated for 24 hours wasn't explained very well, or at least not to me. They should have known that Harry and Severus love each other, and why would they think that Harry would abandon his children? They should know that Harry wants a family.
Now for this chapter. The explanation was really vague. Isn't Voldemort dead? Why would Harry have to return to the Dursley's? It would seem that Harry would have been better protected at the Manor. Did they decide that Harry should go back because of Dudley? Who decided that Harry needed to go back there to begin with? You really haven't mentioned Petunia since Harry got there, what's her take on Dudley becoming a father? It's an interesting idea of Dudley becoming the Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts; would Kara be teaching with him since she does at least know quite a bit about the Wizarding World? I do like nice Dursleys.
Final comment. Other than not having detailed explanations it is a really good story. I really hope that you take this a constructive criticism as that is how I'm meaning it as and not just trying to be rude or mean.
| Lisa1312 chapter 7 . 11/24/2013
I do not get it . How can they not be mad? I would be furious! they have a good relationship, what right does albus have to test it ? especially in such a way! and worse harry and sev just go "oh well no matter". If someone had a mental breakdown they arent going to go "oh well" about it the next day.. As you can see ı am just a bit frustrated with their response.. but good story overall..
| DevoraDeath chapter 18 . 6/18/2013
| Azrael Jinsei chapter 18 . 2/13/2013
Thank you for writing this. I look forward to reading the sequel, but am sad that Lucius died.
| A Smouldering Soul chapter 18 . 10/14/2012
| JustPlainAmy chapter 18 . 7/12/2012
This was absoulutly adorable and it had me laughing the whole time :)
| Twipotterfreak28 chapter 9 . 6/26/2012
so it's three in the morning... I'm tired... and I'll continue reading your story tomorrow- er- later today. I will never judge a story before I have read the whole thing first, but there were some things I loved and hated.
*Harry/Severus- they are so cute together!
*The pregnancy- gotta love mpreg, you write it well.
*Ron- you did a good job on him. Very in character.
*Severus, to me, lost some of his toughness in this story. He seems a little... mushy.
*All of the characters use the words 'like', 'yeah' and 'so, like' a lot, making them seem very teenage girlish.
*It's very confusing. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, if you catch my drift, so I would've liked it more if it were easier to read.
But hey, you're the author! If you were going for OOC characters, then you're doing a very good job. Can't wait to finish the rest! Oh, and where's Draco?
| Saddened Brokeback Mountain chapter 1 . 2/12/2012
I can already tell that I'm not going to like Severus's character. Story's good but Severus would never say "so right" or "yea", even in an alternate universe. I may be the only one complaining but these little things matter.
If you're going to write Harry Potter fiction, do it in character and don't let your own thoughts interfere with the characters.
It's a novice writer's mistake.
| DestielDelenaPotter chapter 18 . 1/27/2012
What a great story. I liked it. A little more detail woulda been good but it's good just the same. Keep up the writing.
| AkiraNatsume chapter 18 . 1/26/2011
Those are short chapters.
| phoebuscat chapter 18 . 11/21/2010
Oh dear! Oh d-d-d-dear! Where do I start...
This was... rather bad. No true story-line, no tension, no real slash. Nothing except bad typos and grammar errors. For example, it is "too" (as in "I love you, too.) and not "to" (as in "I love to sing.") Then, you have all those sentence fragments. Ever hear about punctuation? Also, Harry and Snape are way out of character! Things like "Holy fucking shit!" are americanisms and no true Brit,much less Snape, would yell that. Neither would Harry cry at the drop of a pin! Hell, here is a boy who in canon hardly ever cried even when he had cause! You don't really understand your characters, do you?
| Griffin Raven chapter 18 . 9/16/2010
I personally think that Severus and Harry make an excellent couple, as they do seem to fit so well together. After all Severus would never be so tolerant of anyone else "boucing" about like Harry does sometimes, hehe! Or that Harry is often able to persuade/or get Severus to go along with almost every-thing he either suggests/or plans.
Darn it, people do seem to be continually interupting Severus and Harry in there moment of expressing the undying love for each other. Its amazing just how Harry was able to look past Dudley's past behaviour towards himself and help Dudley and his girlfriend in there time of need. Something tells me that Severus wouldn't reverse the youthling potion which reduced him to roughly 25yrs of age, even after the pregnancy. Loved the name's of Severus and Harry's three girls Apolla, Nova and Naomi!
Oh, was chapter 18 the final chapter of this story or what? Because in the summary of this story its marked as completed yet on reading the story inside its not marked as complete. So if you could clear this matter up, please? Anyway I loved the story...though its a shame that neither Severus or Harry, took any form of revenge against Albus (for his continually interruptions) or against Vernon and Petunia Dursley (for how they treated Harry during his childhood)?
Hmm, if the other students don't know about Severus's pregnancy then do they know that Severus is married to Harry? Then just how will they explain away the sudden appearance of Apolla, Nova, Noami Potter-Snape?
| Griffin Raven chapter 11 . 9/16/2010
Somehow I can definitely imagine Severus grudgingly accepting help from Harry when he's further along in his pregnancy. Even if Harry told him after Harry wrote to Albus about doing so. Its a totally different kettle-of-fish for Albus to hire someone to aid Severus during his potions lessons when its needed...but I don't think he should have done so, without at least some input from Severus himself!
Because I definitely think that Severus would find it much easier to accept any weakness (ie. morning sickness, fatigue, food cravings or general trouble moving around) and therefore needing help from Harry. But I don't think Severus would want any other person to see/or view him like that, it would ruin his perfectly preserved imagine "harded, greasy git of the dungeons".