|Reviews for A Dragon Called Ranma!|
| Ganheim chapter 5 . 1/12/2010
after he got so far.
[before he got too far?]
Okay yeah that does suck . . . bite me!
[Lame breaking of the fourth wall]
is he rich?" Nabiatrix asked.
"If he can afford to dress so badly, he must be." Kasumian noted.
"So women cant be fighters
"It is a complicated story."
"Then don't tell it." Ryoga said.
Baka!" That could
My to my highly trained
probably be to hard
that it wont have
[There’s a difference between “loose” (not tightly connected) and “lose” (for something to slip away)]
you two insane crazy women
The girls took turns slapping him.
[For how long…?]
that's the Castle Anthrax!"
[There’s only 150 of them]
my name is Ukygowain,
(Yes, yes I *would
[I know corny jokes may be funny, but try to avoid parentheticals and breaking the fourth wall with mid-chapter ANs. They look bad in narrative]
a fighter what was
saw Sir. Ryoga
a church quire sang
lunged for the wizard screaming. "I'm just joking
[The narrative indicates that “Arkane” is screaming that she’s joking. I think adding some narrative indicating “Happerlin” fleeing in panic or dodging or something would help the scene]
little Perfume just grew breast.”
[Missing plural indicator]
Kasumian as well, the three ran around
[Repetition – you already named them, then referring again to them (the three) is superfluous]
you don’t...need wife
I cant do it
Well, that was rather amusing.
| Kirinin chapter 5 . 3/19/2005
Heh heh! Oh, this was so funny! I giggled quite a bit. The weird formatting was annoying, tho. I hope you have fixed it in the sequel.
It's hard to write a really good, funny piece. Kudos!
| Talantus chapter 5 . 8/11/2004
well that was fun though it sucked for ryoga... he's still P-chan... he still directionless... and you made him stupid...(sometimes...) well okay he's naive but not stupid... anyway THIS is a fanfiction... so its ok...Bside... exept for that fact i liked your fics... hehe i think i'll read the next one... see ya!
from the self-philosopher, talantus
" life is like a lasagna of dirt... you just have to choose the level you want" ( i know its a pessimistic way to see life... but its the only one i could come up right now...)
| Cap'n Chryssalid chapter 5 . 2/5/2004
A... nothing justifies procrastination like a good fanfic. Very amusing!
The palace itself shook, Sounthur groaned. “G-guards?
| alanna28 chapter 5 . 11/30/2003
That was hilarious, a little jumpy in plot but fun. I especially loved the names. _
| silver-aura chapter 1 . 11/1/2003
this isn't really a review, but HOW COULD THEY TAKE CHARLOTTES WEB OFF THE SITE? I was almost done, too . hmmf. i sympathize with you, my story got kicked off, too.
| Kyryal-Neko chapter 2 . 6/27/2003
i was wondering when you were gonna give ukyo a neat little midievel name... actually, her's kinda sucks. i wonder what you're gonna name shampoo! -
| Kealakai chapter 2 . 6/24/2003
I sill say poor, poor, ryoga
| Kealakai chapter 1 . 6/24/2003
poor, poor, ryoga
| Kyryal-Neko chapter 1 . 6/19/2003
slightly disturbing... but all in all a good piece. this should definately be interesting if nothing else. oh, and i happen to like the new names; especially nabiki's-
| ChesireCat354 chapter 1 . 6/19/2003
I love your story. Finally a story about Ryoga. I have a question though. Did you use some of Monty Python: Quest for the Holy Grail? But just a question. Anyways, love the story. I hope you get a new chapter very soon. Hope the next chapter involves the meeting and even slaying of Ranma!
| Pammy chapter 1 . 6/18/2003
*Shakes head* Too too funny, especially the names...Nabiatrix? Crazy author. _
| TirGhost chapter 1 . 6/17/2003
Well I'll give you points for originality and then some cause it was a fun read