una completa tormenta de mierda esta esperando a Scav cuando regrese a la tierra XD

I can understand wanting to change things up but it's about the route to get there. The weird 'required update or the system will break' thing and then randomly nerfing the mc within the same chapter then a pretty much reboot restriction setup just feels bad.

The actual restrictions are neat for a challenge and I think will lead to an interesting arc of the story, but the method you used to get there is so jarring and random that it kind of just makes it feel like a lazy last-minute afterthought rather than something you actually sat down and planned out. Like there are so many ways they could have been handled that didn't make the system break for no real reason besides plot convenience that was introduced in the same chapter making it look like really lazy storywriting handwaving. At least you made him a paladin of Deus ex machina which makes sense considering the amount of bullsh*t you pull out to railroad things.

Why randomly nerf your mc? Just present it as a challenge as part of a quest or something. Randomly going 'oh my perk just randomly stopped working because plot' is just lazy. There are ways to work around abilities without making them inconsistent. Breaking trust in the system just means more drama and 'yeah sure totally' for anything else built up in the future.

The scene with Victor is entirely unnecessary. The 'poison bullets' coming up as a status effect and then suddenly gamer body doesn't work on it just felt like a forced event in order to get Jackie to take him out around town, but he could have just done it anyway there was no reason for doing it. He even mentioned he needed to get his hands on some cyberwar already or you could have lead with being a doctor and maybe gone and talked to him about getting certified. Adding a random exception to a rule for plot convenience is lazy and a bad precedent.

oof, rather than putting like 5 flashbacks back to back just have everything go in order of events. There was no point in doing a scene where he's just about to try out the ODM then skip forward only to flashback to him trying it on again.

Flashbacks are kind of a trap for beginner stories. If you ever consider using one sit and think on 'do I really need to jumble the timeline?' it's always better to just have events happen in order than to jump around randomly in the timeline of events that happen. It can have an unintended effect of giving the payout for something before you give any build-up.

The only reasonable times to ever actually use a flashback are
1. After a character that's supposed to be very smart does something as a payoff for all the odd actions they have done up until then. It helps show off that everything was according to a plan.
2. When you f*ck up and need to add something to explain a detail for a plan you eventually have. Though this should be used very sparingly.
3. When you want to show how another character reacts to an event. This is normally paired with a POV shift, whether it be something like a internet form like PHO from worm or other characters watching what happened due to the MC's actions. This also needs some care though since you need to stop yourself from just repeating information over again, adding personal thoughts of the character and other interactions is vital if you want something more than just 'silhouette in a dark room cackling to themself'
4. When a character is telling a story to another. though that's still a bit more like a flashback POV shift but can be more specific.

These are pretty much the only reasons someone should ever use a flashback, anime and movies get more leeway because of the more visual medium.

I'm giggling at the thought of the scab Clinging On to the side of the rich people's habitat like a limpet just siphoning off resources and occasionally murdering a security crew.

The scabs in space is great, it's a nice little interlude and something to look forward to. Will he ever make it back to Earth?

This story is childish. The MC behaves like a Chuuni, giving 'inspirational' speeches and shit. The author doesn't realize it makes his MC seem utterly moronic.

rIp! TEaR! i AM a SLayEr! GrRrRrrrR!

That pretty much sums it up. Honestly? Reading this, I feel embarrassed for the author. It is not bad as far as the plot goes, to be honest. But the way some things are written are just embarrassing.

The author is copy-pasting that stat sheet far too much for pointless word count fill. This is just the first chapter but it was here like 4 times or so. It's crazy.

Guys still up there

The first chapter was long and extremely good... I have much more to 'S GOOOOO

Nice start

normally, i hate it when you put restrictions on characters. However, i believe it works great with gamers. considering gamers tend to have multiple abilities or classes. limiting access to a single class or restricting certain abilities could lead to new abilities or evolving or even learning how to use that class more effectively.

i dont understand why no one questions the power source

Just a little nitpick, with blacksmithing, the very first thing apprentices do is making nails ( just a metal spike with a flat head), Then knifes( a flatter sharpened nail) horseshoes ( curves, ridges and holes, making holes in metal is hard), you got the order wrong and as an apprentice blacksmith myself, that kills me inside. Besides that, cool story bro.