|Reviews for You got an A on the subject love|
| Vera Cobb chapter 11 . 2/5/2009
You're writing has definitely improved since you wrote this, but I enjoyed it anyway. You write Lorelai brilliantly. The ending surprised me, coz' I really didn't think this was set post-Wedding kiss. I would have expected a very different dynamic between Rory and Jess if I'd realised. Rory already knew how she felt about Jess when she came back from Washington. She's so indifferent to him in the beginning of the story that it feels more like mid-season 2. And her falling for him all of a sudden feels a bit trite. But nonetheless, it was a cute story and I know that since this, you've definitely improved heaps. And I should know, coz' I've spent my night reading most all your other GG fics instead of working on my own.
| astinlane chapter 11 . 6/12/2005
The story was ok. I liked the Dan part even though it was a little creepy. However, Jess was kind of ooc and so was Rory (mostly in the end). But it wasn't bad at all.
| smile1 chapter 1 . 9/26/2004
I know that it might take me a little while to leave a somewhat detailed review of all of these chapters, nix that, this entire story, but I am going to try and I will (!) succeed, even if I have to run upstairs during commercial breaks to get there so prepare yourself for...something.
Wow, I haven't read this story for a long and I just noticed how long the first chapter is...and how in character, especially Luke. Let me be my helpful self by pointing out some examples:
Luke: "Because this is a diner and that's what you do in a diner when you want something, you order"
Luke: "Do I really have to take this serious?"
And that was Luke for you. I could picture him saying those things to Lorelai. Speaking of Lorelai:
L: "Luke, my man. Why isn't my coffee ready, yet?"
Great opening line (so to speak). It was an excellent way to start this chapter and your story with. It definitely reflected the Gilmore Girls sense of humor and Lorelai's personality. (and her love for coffee)
L: "Like a heart attack, so I would say that's pretty serious"
Okay, this line might be a little cliche, but because of how you added it into the conversation it was actually pretty funny and it made me laugh.
Lorelai: "I think Rory would appreciate it if you would be a little bit more specific"
Yep, totally in character.
L: "Now? After just one cup of coffee? I predict you'll collapse before you've reached the door"
This line doesn't seem like something that would be used in the show, but at the same time it does seem characteristic for the series. I think that this is my favorite line of this entire chapter because it's so simple, but brilliant.
The conversation/interaction between Jess and Rory was in character and the background you added to their dialogue made it even more in character. And making Jess have a black eye right in the first chapter definitely adds to the intrigue and makes me wonder to what is to come.
Having Dean sitting on the couch waiting for Rory when she comes home is an excellent way of opening this chapter because it seems as if it's connected to the last one, Dean face a pefect reminder to the convo Rory and Jess had.
R: "You look terrible"
Now that is a way to greet your boyfriend... It's a really good line, though. It's in character and the response almost comes over as innocent, as if Rory hadn't been expecting the damage to be so well done.
R: "The door is the other way"
Pretty cold and harsh, but it does give a bit of a perspective on what she is going through and that Jess is her friend and that Dean is her boyfriend and that she is indeed caught in the middle.
Dan: "So, what are you doing here all alone?"
R: "Sitting mostly"
Dan: "And besides that?"
Dan: "Nothing serious I hope"
R: "I won't bore you with that"
Dan: "So are you planning to continue this very interesting sitting and thinking-process?"
R: "I might get a cup of coffee in a little while"
Loved that small piece of dialogue. It shows that Dan has a sense of humor and therefore has a way to find Rory's heart if he tries.
Dan: "I'm saying that I think that guy is your boyfriend and I see his bruised face and I put two and two together and..."
R: "You get four..."
Hilariously brilliant and in character. :-) The dialogue between Dan and Rory is really well done, different from the interaction between her and Jess and her and Dean. You can clearly see that Dan is his own character and that he has a personality that is different from everyone else's.
L: "What problems? All those awful A's they've been giving you at school? You're right, that is a problem"
Definitely in character.
L: "No, that was the beginning. Then the midgets walked into the livingroom with a blue box and the Blair Witch did her witchy-stuff on me and I was flying through the room and she put me in the box. And I was getting all claustrophobic...but then I was in Wonderland with Alice and she showed me around, but then she turned into the Blair Witch...and I screamed and ran away, but 'hello, it's the Blair Witch we're talking about here' so I couldn't escape and..."
I actually forgot about this until I read it again, of course. Maybe a bit too much, but it was still funny.
L: "They hate me. They always give me the black screen"
What more do I have to say? ...Let me just add a :-) for the effect, though.
The story at the end about the...never mind, I'll just copy and past it so you can see it for yourself.
R: "It is real love. You just have ups and downs in a relationship"
L: "And this is a down?"
R: "A big one"
L: "Like a valley?"
L: "How about a really deep valley?"
Lorelai walked towards her daughter and hugged her. Rory hugged her mom back.
R: "A really really deep valley"
L: "Don't worry. I'll hand you a ladder so you can climb back up again"
R: "I know you will"
L: "There's no way I would let my daughter die in a really really deep valley"
R: "The only question is if Dean and I will get out of the valley together"
L: "You're asking the wrong person, I just walk around with the ladder"
I loved this chapter because of how simple it was. Just Lorelai and Rory talking about boys.
Goodbye sweet college guy and hello creepy stalker dude. Yep, Dan's transformation is definitely visible in this chapter. It might be a bit rushed here and there, but the dialogue was really good and you showed me that there is more than one side to him.
This is one of my favorite chapters of this story. I liked the conversation between Dean and Rory because of how normal and in character it was, of course the roses were there to remind me that something was going on, but I forgot about it for a little while when Dean and Rory were talking. The fact that she was so scared that she started to cry added to the effect of this chapter.
J: "Well, I can't deny it. This guy sure doesn't know when a girl is not interested"
This sentence was so in character, especially the second part.
He realized he was still staring at her.
R: "No, you have a 'something' face"
J: "A 'something' face?"
J: "And what does a 'something' face look like?"
R: "Pretty much like yours"
J: "Well, sorry to dissapoint you, but my face is obviously a 'nothing' face"
R: "Are you in a position to judge that?"
J: "Well, it's my face, so I would say yes"
R: "You're not the one looking at it"
J: "Good point"
Ah...this had something romantic to it, but you still managed to keep it amusing to read.
And I loved how Jess played the role of a good old-fashioned hero in this chapter. That's so sweet of him and it shows that he cares about her.
This was a really cute chapter. It's nice to see this other side to Jess, the more caring side. I also loved how Rory called him and he offered to come over and how he waited for her to fall asleep at the end, very sweer.
Not a lot to say about this chapter; it didn't stand out as the other ones did, but it was still good.
Dan: “How’s my princess doing today?
| Gail chapter 3 . 8/28/2003
Ok the Dan things a bit odd, but cool.
P.S. Blair Witch was SO not scary
| KBecks87 chapter 11 . 8/10/2003
good job. nice ending.
| iiiiiiiiiiiii chapter 5 . 7/31/2003
Ahh! Dan's starting to scare me, but as of yet, I'm still reading this story, which can only mean one thing: I'm obsessed! *laughs evilly* Seriously though, good work. :D
| smile1 chapter 11 . 7/31/2003
YAH! GREAT ENDING! Notice me not being crtical and stuff ? ;-) Just kidding. It was pretty good, but I'm just too lazy to leave a detailed review. I'm still tired from the one I left at chapter 10. Rain check okay ?
Bye, smile :-)
| rorynjess4ever chapter 11 . 7/28/2003
this is definetaly one of my favorite story's ever! if i didn't add this to my fave stories i'm definetaly going too! i love how you write! that story was really! oh, and the last chapter was so perfect! Great Job! :-D
| JeSsFrEaK8 chapter 11 . 7/28/2003
Great story I loved it
| Sarah-Angel1 chapter 11 . 7/28/2003
Well, that was good! I can't wait to read more from you. :)
| tegan chapter 11 . 7/28/2003
good ending, im so glad that they are together! hehe im all giddy, i love when everything always turns out good! i absolutly loved reading this story, so thank you for taking the time to create it! i can't wait to read more of your stories i think you are an awesome writer, anyway, great story!
| Jade-Tessier chapter 11 . 7/28/2003
i love it! yay happy shipperness! keep it up :)
| Coolio02 chapter 11 . 7/28/2003
Nice ending! Rory and Jess ended up together, yeah! This was an awesome story and you did a good job on it:)
| smile1 chapter 10 . 7/27/2003
I finally read chapter 9 and 10. I know it took me long enough. Yeah, I know I already reviewed chapter 9, but I think I can leave amore detailed and longer review, so here I go. Ready to be blown away ? DO you feel the wind ? No ? Well, that's probably, cause I can't controle Mother Nature. Oh well... Well chapter 9 was pretty good, though chapter 10 was better. (I can't read chapter 11 yet) I have a few comments on chapter 9, but I tried not to be too critical, so...don't hate me. :-)
I thought chapter 9 was very dramatic, especially some parts. I thought it was great the way you said that Dan looked a little desperate. I mean that showed that he was just in love with a girl he could never have. And OMG the way Dan kept using cliche lines...I so hate him! And it was great the way Jess defended Rory, even though I personally think he overreacted a little by smashing Dan against the window. I mean, I know he was mad, but just dragging him out of the diner would have done too. But then you surprised me by actually making Jess talk to Dan. It was a sweet gesture in a way. It was also funny when Lorelai told everyone to sit down and asked those customers to leave. Even Luke obeyed.
Okay, a little unrealistic that Rory only now realized that she didn't love Dean anymore, cause Jess 'saved' her from Dan. But it's fanfiction and a creation of your mind, so maybe it could happen, who knows ?
And chapter 10 was fine the way it was, the break-up wasn't too dramatic and not too casual either. You know like, hey, I wanna break up. Why ? Well, cause I decided to jump some other guys bones. Oh...well that's cool. Know what I mean ? Very good job. I'm glad you made Dean the nice guy, I mean he was worried about Rory, not too possesive and he seemed to understand why she broke up with him. That was it, if you find it annoying just say so and I'll stop doing this. I actually like leaving long and detailed reviews. Though I'm not even sure if they are just that. But I try. And sorry if I was being too critical at some points, sorry. Didn't mean it like that.
Bye, smile :-)
I'll read chapter 11 tomorrow.
| Jade-Tessier chapter 10 . 7/26/2003
i like it- it's not as messy as most of the narco breakup scenes are. love it- keep it up