Pretty great first chap

Please continue this fanfiction. I've started to read the rewritten version of this but it does not feel the same. I think this is just better especially david's character and story including how he trains his pokemon. His lineup of pokemon is also incredibly strong and at the same time, not being ridiculously overpowered like other fanfictions.

Bros naming sucks lmao fkin Dory hahaha

Bro you named your Bulbasaur Deku thats a disrespect if i ever seen one.

glad to see you back. I'll go read rewrite. avoid being so merciful if rewritten. No way Mr. Mime should have gotten off with 3 attempts, sometimes best to show seriousness. mr mime execution for safety

Yayyyy

Glad to see you are back! I liked this story so i am excited to see how it progresses in the rewritten version.

Being realistic about them being 10 years old and not making the age older is a choice

Well I’ve finished reading this story and it was great
You came up with a lot of great lore and scenes that sound very plausible in the world of Pokémon
Hoping that the rewrite carries the same spirit of this story

Keep up the good work

Sudowoodo and Togepi have their nicknames and I think they suit them
As for Mr. Mime he’s definitely more of a trouble maker and difficult to handle than Thalia was
It also looks like I was right about Dory being chosen to go to his aunts
As for Kara she sounds like a perfect partner to train with and team up with for any competition

The scavenger hunt was fun and the chariot scene was epic
Avery’s partner and father are real pieces of work and I feel sorry for Avery, plus now I understand why he’s the way that he is but at least he has good morals deep down

Togepi is just as cute and curious as ever plus full of potential, looking forward seeing what nickname David will give him

That adventure in the Safari zone was interesting too bad he ran into Avery again but David did make a new friend in Kara the fighting type specialist and caught two new Pokémon
Looking forward to seeing seeing what he does with that mean Mr. Mime and what nickname he gives Sudowoodo
I wonder which Pokémon he’ll send to his aunt in the Orange islands, I’m betting Dory or Thalia (so his aunt can help the water type control her rage better or the electric type to be spoiled)

Seriously, I'm so happy you're back, and if you happen to get upset with the comments on this site, I recommend Royal Road for you to launch as well. You will see many people making interesting and more rational assessments.

It always nice seeing Ash and his friends and David was a big help helping Ash plan out which Pokémon to use in the future Pokémon Masters gym battle
As for David’s gym battle it was excellent as always and Dory really to to shine

David had an excellent strategy to get the police to raid the Celadon Game corner by faking some evidence using Loki’s ability but it was for a good cause
Looking forward to seeing him bond with his new Togepi

Got to admit I didn’t expect Sabrina to have memories of other Pokémon universes (anime, manga, games)
Although it sounds like David’s abilities regarding to obtaining information from throughout the Pokémon franchise is more impressive and mysterious than I thought

He put up a good battle against Sabrina and he will be more prepared next time, although he really needs to increase Dory’s training to control her outbursts of rage during battles

I’m glad David and everyone escaped the ship alright
Plus him helping take down Team Rocket at the Pokémon tower with Agatha of the elite four along with her advice helped set him straight after being shaken up after the events of the ship and Dorys rage during his battle with AJ, hopefully the next time David meets AJ they can talk things out
Loki the Zorua is a welcome addition to the team

The events that happened at Grandpa Canyon were unforgettable especially with the surprise appearance of a few characters including a certain Pokémon ranger from Almia
But the biggest surprise is David finding Togepi’s egg before Ash, unless it’s a different Togepi