Getting Malfoy to actually work has got to be a trial for Snape.
As much as I find it a bit hard to believe Snape having temper tantrums in class (I do, still, seems a little off... being upset? Possibly breaking pens or kicking things hard enough to bang? Yes, but not yelling or otherwise... making it obvious).

The bits on Remus and Snape together make perfect sense how you have them written. I'm very much enjoying this story.

Love this! Excellent writing.

Just fyi Ginny's full name is Ginevra, not Virginia. See canon.

Lol. Wonderful chapter.

This sounds like a really good story. But is the last half or so of the story underlined? It really threw me off and made some words hard to read. Otherwise, great plot and character descriptions so far!

I've really enjoyed reading thus far, and I'm disappointed you didn't post the remainder on this site. Normally I never read fan fiction on any other site, but this time I will because I'm so keen to find out how this story ends! ;)

I am really enjoying reading this! I've got through 33 chapters in one day, it's so addictive and easy reading! I love the relationship between Severus and Harry, and you've portrayed Harry as Severus's son very realistically. Aside from his gradually changing appearance, the increase in confidence, the glare, the sneer, the devilish humour - it's funny seeing Ron and Hermione gradually pick these things up! I also like how Harry is learning from James's letter and trying to put aggravating feuds aside. I don't like Remus in this story as much as I normally do, but I think all the other characters are portrayed very well. I'm looking forward to reading more!

I LOATHE Hermione

I have mixed feelings about this story.

First, what I like:

I love your writing. It's understated and mature. You get the rise and ebb of emotion across without the usual crutches (eg: misplaced metaphors, exaggerated paragraph breaks or dash, inflated diction). Your technical prose is A. Which already makes you stand out from the usual ff net writers. On a similar vein, I feel like your scenes are precisely written to the point that I can visualize them - like the controlled way a screenwriter writes for scenes to film. I'm impressed with the length of the story, and the continuity from one chapter to the next. Severus' characterization is excellent, and probably plays a big part in hitting over 2000 reviews - congratulations on that!

Onto the critique. I'm including it not only to be an honest reviewer, but also, hopefully, to provide some advice for any future writing. Of course, you can take it or leave it. Here's what I think could improve:

The biggest weakness in your story is pacing and tension. Specifically, I felt bogged down in the middle chapters. To the point where I skimmed the last twenty chapters instead of properly reading them. In fact, I have to admit, I am on chapter 63 (skimmed for novel developments), and I can't bring myself to go on and read the last two chapters.

I'm disappointed that nothing truly unpredictable is happening. The buildup is so long, sustained, and linear, that without the promise of new horizons in sight, I don't want to read more, and I feel dismayed and bored. But is this a problem of your writing or of the genre itself? I think it's both, but I leave it up to you to analyze further and decide. If it's a problem of writing, that may be resolved by keeping a more meticulous track of why the reader cares about each scene as it happens. Not the question of, What's going to happen? but these questions: Who's getting in danger? What ante is being raised? What new factors are coming in? What's going to make the reader click the Next button? These are the questions to keep in mind, particularly as you edit. And as you edit, I would vote for much more extreme editing. Rather than speeding up the plot so that much content is crammed into one chapter, or ending chapters with cliffhangers, I would suggest cutting out scenes entirely that repeat plot points already established. To give a specific example, I would have edited Blood Magic down by over 1/2. This prevents the linear buildup that can be a turnoff. Obviously, this kind of editing hurts. Especially because you probably are aware of just how good your writing is, and it always hurts to delete good writing. But in the service of a more compelling story arc, and a better reading experience, I think it'll be worth it.

Then again, the lack of tension/pacing could be a problem of genre. After all, character studies and slice-of-life fiction doesn't require the same tension/pacing as an adventure or drama story. So, is it a problem of your intended genre not coming out clearly? Keep in mind that if the reader goes into a story with certain expectations, and they aren't fulfilled, then s/he will feel discontented. Blood Magic is a huge fic approaching 250k words. Thus it's even more important for me, the reader, to take into account the story summary, and let that determine if I'm going to stick around til the end. What is Blood Magic really about? When I first stumbled across it, I thought it was going to be rather emotional and dramatic - "Blood is a bond, but so is the memory of hate - or love." that, in addition to the categorization in angst. The summary held well to the actual story for the first 10 chapters. Then, the story became something else. Now I would say this story is more like - "Harry's year in Hogwarts trying to keep a devastating secret, court a friend, and forge and strengthen new relationships." I give you this kind of content-oriented summary, rather than the abstract starting premise that your summary had, because this fic ultimately did turn out to be much more "slice of life" than "drama" (which is what I would have categorized it for the first 10 chapters.) Blood Magic goes through the mundane details of Harry's every day, his problems unraveling so slowly that their revealing can no longer be considered the main plot point. Instead, the main plot point becomes Harry's mundane life, because of the pace the story went at. Which is not a bad thing. It is, however, something that you need to be aware of, and plan to convey to the reader, through summary, classification, and perhaps even author's notes, though I understand that you don't really like them.

Therefore, I would suggest being careful with the labeling and presentation of your fiction. It's tempting to say, "well if something's good, then it's good," and demote the importance of the label. However, the accuracy of the label is really very important, and not just to increase reader satisfaction. It sieves out which readers are going to read your story. If your summary/label doesn't match your actual story, then the readers who would have very much enjoyed your actual story as missing out because they're not the ones who picked it up. Especially if you are going into original fiction - then the presentation and labeling is something that you want to control as much as possible.

Anyway, that's my take. I have more specific thoughts on some of your HP characterizations, but in the hopes of giving you a critique that could apply for writing in any fandom, I decided to only go into the issues of pacing/tension and genre.

In any case, congratulations again on completing such a long fic, and on getting over 2k reviews. It's really a fantastic achievement. I hope that you continue writing and wish you the best of luck! *follows*

I'm rereading a few of my collectionsand stumble on this phrase "lupin is fond of handsome, dark haired boys" I'm not sure if jk were doing this consciously or not...lupin did been surrounded by a few of them...James, Sirius and a not so handsome In The traditional way dark haired severus...kudos to gateway girl for using this piece to create a masterfully crafted scene...and I won't be surprise if remus like the dark haired boy's harsh and cranky biological father better...XD

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I read this whole story, including the part not on this site, after being referred to it by a friend. I loved it! The plot, the characters, the interactions... It was all incredible. :)

I wonder why if they leave for so long thier childhood is not extended pass 17 if they live for hundreds of years wouldnt be a child last at like 30 or 40

oh i have a bad feeling about this

the whole about him not expecting affection is just sad

okay seriously he saw a door with several locks from the outside and he still thought the inside would be nice. I thought he was smart. WHy didnt he just take the kid like an normal person would do