|Reviews for Nocturne|
| Timid chapter 6 . 5/8/2004
The first three or four chapters of this fic were excellent. The introduction of Ukyo and the magical aspects dropped the enjoyment level a lot. Then finally the ending just plain dissapointed. The writing was impeccable throughout, being you're strongest point. But in the end it was the actual story itself that turned into a bit of a letdown.
It seemed you spent half the story setting up a really interesting situation, and then the rest diffusing it in a way that made everyone happy. That all but completely robbed the fic of any emotional impact it may have had. Reading the last chapter it felt I wasn't reading about real characters. They were only cardboard cutouts, handled in a way that wouldn't cause a stir to the dynamics of the main pretetermined relationships.
The whole thing ended with a whimper.
| JohnnyG chapter 5 . 4/2/2004
This story is excellent. You have a very nice writing style and from a technical standpoint it's almost flawless. I only have two suggestions, take them or leave them at will. First, you might want to consider smaller chapters. While I certainly don't mind, as other reviewers pointed out, you might get more response that way. Second, and I can only say this because it's something that I struggle with too (and has been pointed out to me repeatedly), but you should really stick to a single POV per scene. You do a decent job making sure we know who is thinking what at a given moment, but sometimes it's not always cut and dry. Maybe it's just a style thing, but many have repeatedly tried to beat it into my head not to switch POVs like that within a scene. But both of these are really just nitpicks. I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of your story. Keep up the excellent work!
| Preventer Squall chapter 5 . 3/26/2004
I really do like this fanfic of yours. Took me afew days to finially get to the end, but it was entirely worth it.
Hope you'll be polishing off that last chapter in the near future. I'd like to see how you're going to end it.
Who knows? Maybe you'll give Ranma his girl form back.
| dogbertcarroll chapter 5 . 11/5/2003
I like the way things are working out for
Ukyou and Ranma.
I wonder if Ranma could give people Jusenkyo
curses without using the water?
Kaede and Shampoo's fight was impressively done.
Ryoga lies abought Ranma getting cured by Shampoo?
Or is it something he believes?
Ranma frowned. "Hey, there's only one of us here
who's supposed to get compared to a flower, and it
sure ain't me."
"but that ain't the F-word they're interested in"
"the five-day-a-week class schedule was the only good
thing to come out of the principal's Hawaii fixation"
I never thought of that. Most authors write them as
having a 5 day a week school schedule without explaining
why it differers from the rest of Japan.
Happosai turned out to be a lot eviler then I thought
he would be. I wonder if their powers are really gone or
just lessened. There has to be a connection left for them
to still be able to use some of them. With training
they may be able to build back up their strength.
| Katie chapter 5 . 10/28/2003
This was one very good story! So much happened, that I can't even begin to cover what I liked best. You did such a great job with all of it! I am really looking forward to the next chapter!
| TetsuoTsubushi chapter 5 . 10/27/2003
It's a really good story. My only complaint is that you did make up some words here and there. Ex/ Noncomprehension. I doubt that is a word, but I may be wrong. Whatever I want to see how it all ends.
| Lumias chapter 1 . 10/24/2003
Wow great story it is my favorite story ive read heron fanfiction so far but my only complaint is that you could have broken the chapter down into multiple chapters to help keep track of where i stop reading if i dont have the time to read chapter all at once
| Kasuga-sempai chapter 5 . 10/23/2003
This. is. what I call QUALITY. Of course it is not really surprising from a seasoned writer like you. Anyway, I can't wait to read the final chapter.
PS: I'm glad you stripped Ranma's power-up off. I'm kinda sick with too much "Ranma Almighty" fanfics.
| Adyen chapter 5 . 10/21/2003
This is... quite a powerful fic. Normally, in Ranma fics, Ranma tend to be able to keep or recreate anything he's used or had. This...
Whoot. I'm looking forward to the last chapter.
| ariel stormcloud chapter 5 . 10/21/2003
| NemesisZero chapter 1 . 8/11/2003
hey, how's it going?
Well, you pretty much already know what I think of the story from when I first saw it at "the-site-which-will-not-be-named". I'm just updating my favorites section and decided that this ought to place somewhere on that list.
| Deadpan chapter 4 . 7/27/2003
I enjoy this story very much. It is among my top ten for the exploration of the psycology of the characters and what the long term effects of the chaos and tension are. However, I am not sure about giving ranma a power up like this. Ukyo needed one if she was going to keep up with Ranma and the others, but giving Ranma another batch of superpowers seems a bit excessive. Especially water-based powers with a cast full of Jusenkyo curses. Despite those reservations, I still think its great and I eagerly await the next installment.
PS: Is your continuity here pre or post Saffron?
| ariel stormcloud chapter 4 . 7/26/2003
| dogbertcarroll chapter 4 . 7/26/2003
Ukyou shrugged. “Nah, if it gets to be too much of a problem, I’ll just relocate and change the name.”
*grin* She always did have good business sense.
I liked the interaction with the elemental. It
made a lot of sense. Most just write elementals
as powerful humans.
Shampoo really pulled a Ranma in her fight with
Kaede. She underestimated her opponent. *grin*
Ranma's reactions to Ukyou still seem off somehow.
He's planning on asking her to defeat Shampoo in
hand to hand combat for him and he hasn't though
of what that will do to her.
Genma actually standing up for Ranma? Thats a
shocker. It's not really OOC just rare enough
to note. It takes a special set of events to
bring it out.
Ranma with control over water? Hm. Well at least
anytime He and Ukyou got bored they could hang out
in the trench and no one could bug them. *grin*
Ryoga and Kaede? Hm. Not a bad match really.
She's a lot like Ranma. I wonder what his
reaction will be to finding out he almost killed
So she now knows she can win Ranma's love? *grin*
I thought for a minute Ranma would come back as
twins. Gemini is a water sign after all.
| SKOOKUMCHUK chapter 1 . 7/26/2003
Great story! I like the way you slowly built up your characters and events till Ranma realized that things must change both for his as well as everybody else. I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters.