|Reviews for A Saiyan With Magic|
| Blake2020 chapter 2 . 3/31
| Blake2020 chapter 1 . 3/31
| Zuchiku chapter 9 . 2/13
I like the idea though to me the story feels rushed up to this point. To have everyone in the group find out about Gohan in one Chapter seems wired and also to let Gohan explain everything at once as well. He is naturally a very open person but I would think even at a young age he woul hide certain things. There are seven years for his friends to find out more about Gohan or atleast a full year.
I like like how you started to describe more in the previous chapter compared to the first. The first was less fun to read because the speech was hardly build in to the actual story. You can defenitly work on combining the sentences more with each other.
What would also be nice in one of the first chapters is a better explanation how the two worlds DBZ and Harry Potter are conected. Did both of Gohans Parents went to Hogwards, just one of them what was with the rest of the gang? If Gohan knew of the magical world how come he didn't know about Harry. Also when Harry was with Gohan before the start of the school didn't he figured out some unusual things about Gohan?
As a writer you have a lot of options to incorporate what the different people in your story think, feel, how they act or how their facial expressions are. You just need to find the right words :)
Try to put the picture you have in your mind from the scene in to words so that other people can imagine it as well.
| super saiyan432 chapter 15 . 1/8
why didn't govan just punch the troll in the gut or something. Also this is exactly like the books. Make it a little more original
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/13/2016
It's great but you need to get Gohan's powers more in character. Like flying and strength and muscles. Gohan's saiyan identity should also be focused on. Great job on the story though!
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/24/2016
Ok now im only on chapter 5 so idk what happens later but so far it doesnt seem right you are doung what every other writer does and just follows the original story near exactly gohan loves animals hed probably pet fluffy or something he had a really hard to controlling his power when he was much older in the anime and manga so he should have some problems here and he almost certai ly wouldnt care about what it looks like or how he could do something when people especially his friends are in danger against the troll, hed just punch it in the gut and knock it out immediately so no one got hurt
| Basket in a Nutcase chapter 5 . 8/23/2015
Duuude, why didn't Gohan beat the troll to a bloody pulp?
| Basket in a Nutcase chapter 2 . 8/23/2015
Aww, why hasn't Harry met Goku yet?
| thehomiewhowrites chapter 22 . 5/21/2015
This is really cool! I am definitely enjoying this, and I can't wait to see how this is affecting the future!
| thedarkpokemaster chapter 22 . 4/17/2015
lol oh this was a good one and so Year 2 has come to an end
| Super Saiyan 4 Sa'ad chapter 22 . 2/21/2015
another awesome chapter i can't wait for the next chapter
| Link60fly chapter 22 . 2/20/2015
| Archdruid89 chapter 22 . 2/20/2015
Here are some new ideas for future chapters.
*) Gohan should probably have a job a Capsule Corp. when Chi-Chi says he's done enough studying.
*) When Gohan trains people in Martial Arts and Ki, he creates a magical tattoo of the Z-Fighter ‘Z’ along with a one-star Dragon Ball for all of his friends that he names “Honorary Z-Fighters” from their training.
*) Before the beginning of Fifth Year, Gohan decides to recruit the Giras (race of Giran) to join the Z-Fighters and Order of the Phoenix against Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
*) Since there will be some people that don't believe Harry about Voldemort returning, if someone who was trained by Gohan and was given the Z-Fighter tattoo commits treachery/betrayal against them like with Dumbledore's Army (such as Cho's friend Marietta Edgecombe), their tattoo will disappear with a burning sensation on which spot it was placed.
List of "Honorary Z-Fighters:"
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Videl, Krum, Fleur, Cedric, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Hannah Abbott, Katie Bell, Susan Bones, Terry Boot, Lavender Brown, Cho Chang, Michael Corner, Colin Creevey, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Seamus Finnigan, Anthony Goldstein, Angelina Johnson, Lee Jordan, Ernie Macmillan, Pavarti Patil, Padma Patil, Alicia Spinnet, Dean Thomas, and Fred and George.
I hope you keep at this story, because I'm starting to like it too much.
| Dr4g0nb411z chapter 21 . 1/3/2015
Great job update soon
| Link60fly chapter 21 . 1/3/2015
please continue the story I read all the chapters and I couldn"t stop reading