Reviews for Broker Report on the Terminus Systems : the Powers and the Players |
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![]() ![]() ![]() rereading this. how exactly arr sunnis a persecuted minority when you have a saudi as a high lord? |
![]() ![]() ![]() interested in her meeting Javik. or Sheppard. |
![]() ![]() ![]() wouldn't being friends with Okeer and Wrex be a...conflict of interest? and how exactly is this black rose related to Liara? cousin, aunt? and does that make Ynoosk, Wrex's great uncle? and I take it that Siana is one of Jona's daughters. did trialla teach Liara? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think the LP gang and their various works have collectively won fanfic world building at this point. I'd think Tolkien would nod approvingly. The cooperation In their writing has made for excellent reading in all of their seperate settings. |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was AMAZING! |
![]() ![]() ![]() That intro was cool |
![]() ![]() ![]() so, have to say that I don't particularly like this chapter. particularly the parts about Ulcisci. specifically how you repeatedly alluded to it without actually stating what it was. I largely just found that annoying, rather than what you probably intended. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am very much looking forward to the Station chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() ...Wrex hates the Ganar. convincing him to stay neutral or fight against the blood pack really wouldn't have been all that hard. |
![]() ![]() ![]() cool chapter, though I'm slightly disappointed the timeline doesn't extend to OSaBC II and Archangel's escape from Omega, as it would have changed the balance of power, no? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm a bit confused here isn't the name of the Batarians' government is Batarian Hegemony? Not the Batarian empire |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very enjoyable, and greatly adds to your story world. eagerly waiting more |
![]() ![]() ![]() Brilliantly written |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am leaving the first review for comments and to make a point. Xabiar's writing style is always very clean, and manages to incorporate points of view and opinions of the in-character writer without relying on stylistic tricks. While of course we had it reviewed by the Editing Gang, no large scale structural changes were needed. To create out of whole cloth something like this is even more impressive than the Citadel document, given that at least there he could draw on the Cerberus Files, while with the Terminus I am as bad as Bioware in not detailing the region out. In fanfiction - any fanfic - you will always find areas that can lead to you being able to expand on things. Do so in a fashion that fits with the setting and you will find that you can synthesize a great deal of solid ideas simply by looking at the holes and blank spots in the weave of the existing story. Very well done! |