Reviews for In an Ocean of Stars |
---|
TheKingOfPrussia chapter 1 . 10/18/2021 Enjoyed the story so farHope you continue to write, I think this will be a great story! |
Lady hemera chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 Loving the storyline so far! Your idea is quite refreshing in its originality. Just a tip/critique: you write the demigods(especially Percy in his conversation with Chiron and Nico in his parting words to Percy) with very formal and older English speaking patterns. Just remember that the demigods are young! They use slang and phrases and have inside jokes with each other and don’t even properly use all the rules of the English language and grammar. They definitely aren’t gonna speak like actors in a Shakespeare play. If you need a bit of help, maybe try rereading canon dialogue to get a feel for how each character interacts with others. And since this story features Percy heavily interacting with gods, definitely go over how he interacts with them. For example, in his first meeting with Artemis, Artemis introduces herself as a goddess and Percy responds with “Um…okay.” While Percy definitely avoids getting incinerated by the gods, he isn’t always the most respectful or reverent of them. Anyway, thanks for writing and sharing |
Guest chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 I dont know why you restrict yourself with trying to not write too much, you should write however much you want, otherwise it'll probably feel forced or rushed at some point if you try to do that. Also the conversation at the end with Nico where he tells him everything feels a little clunky, he seems a little too emotional and eager to repeat everything as if he tries to narrate for us readers which kinda annoys me because he's just recycling old news. Otherwise good-ish chapter |
Guest chapter 2 . 10/18/2021 I still don't get why it had to be Artemis specifically. That was just a petty thing from Hera and I don't understand how she got that through that it had to be Artemis. I mean... Zeus would vote against it, Poseidon anyways. Athena and Apollo. Obv. Artemis and I don't like how you portrayed Aphrodite last chapter, how I see it she would've probably, maybe voted against it too. She said she wanted to give Percy an interesting love life and a marriage would ruin that plan, especially one to Artemis and while she didn't really like the hunters like shown in the titans curse i think you're exaggerating that part a lot. |
Robert Moucka chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 awesome i love it ! |
Luna chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 love it |
MisguidedPenguin chapter 1 . 10/18/2021 Good chapter, but a lot of run-on sentences and several capitalization errors. |
Xpe chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 )awesome |
HPfanfictioner66 chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 Nice story. Liked it so far. I think by becoming a god, Percy should get a new weapon too. Like the scythe of Kronos or something equivalently powerful. I really hope that Percy gets a few powerful domains when he becomes an Olympian, you know like Time and Earth because Percy defeated Kronos and Gaea. Also there is no GOD of time or Earth. Percy would be a great addition if he has the domains of Time and Earth(also something related to the sea- like tides) But, that is assuming you are making Percy an Olympian and also haven't decided his domains. But, do remember to give him a domain so that he can be exempt from the ancient laws like Artemis. And, tbh I don't think that any huntress should engage Percy in combat or successfully shoot at him or injure him. Percy Jackson remains the greatest demigod in history. Some fics show that a bunch of huntresses shoot at him and he ends up severely injured, which I just don't get. Percy defeated almost every normal monster in Greek Myths, defeated Titans, Giants and was even able to defeat Ares with next to no training. So, that just bugs me in the wrong way. |
Xpe chapter 1 . 10/18/2021 *styx |
agony fate chapter 3 . 10/18/2021 I like the leaving line by Nico and how impactful the relationship between the children of the Big Three is. Glad to see Annabeth and Jason are still alive lol. Also, it makes sense to have Percy not tell what happened at Olympus at first, but eventually have his feelings catch up and yeah It feels in-character for Percy imo and I love the way you do it. Hera's character depiction is awesome too |
agony fate chapter 2 . 10/18/2021 Loved how the storyline developed and no shit like they forced him into godhood and the start was honestly hilarious with Percy guessing what was going to happen to him lol. I like how Hestia is depicted too! |
agony fate chapter 1 . 10/18/2021 I love the chapter! It was awesome and I liked the way you broke Annabeth and Percy up, instead of them tropes lol. The Council meeting was well detailed and very well written! Everyone's actions made sense to why they were doing what they were doing and stuff |