Reviews for October Challenge - Gone
Wildebunny the Eternal chapter 1 . 8/23/2022
This was way better than I expected. The poems are a nice touch. Rather love the structure of the story.
Mintflight0245 chapter 1 . 10/26/2021
HI THIS WAS REALLY COOL? Like one, I adore your writing style, the way you make connections and just write in general is really cool and interesting! It made for a very compelling read
This piece was also just really eerie- I really liked the short sections of rhyming, like that's epic wtf? Literally so cool I am in awe it totally fits the spooky vibe I'm ngl
Also the name Cream is adorable lmao, I like how there wasn't a lot of wordbuilding, it really contributed to the mystery of the whole piece! Honestly this just fit together really well, you really pulled off an awesome entry! (And for your first this is epic lmao)
But awesome job! Your writing is awesome! Can't wait to see more from you :)
-Minty
MistFlame54 chapter 1 . 10/26/2021
Ah this was so sad and scary and I have so many questions!

I liked the beginning of showing how small Cream is, with her tiny paws and her tiny heart beating against her ribcage, how it shouldn't be burdened with that much. Especially since she's barely out of kit-hood! Also the compass analogy was really good too, about how every cat has a compass but Cream seems to have lost hers (perhaps like how she's losing her sense of sanity and reason in her revenge?)

I also like the juxtaposition of her kit-like features: she yells a threat that sounds very kit-like yet it's also clear that she's dangerous from all that pent up pain and rage, and her prey clearly knows that. Then when she keeps repeating "for mama" it's again, kit-like but really creepy like a little baby doll from a horror movie trying to kill you.

Plus I love the poems that serve as breaks between scenes, they really add to what's going on!

Really well done!

- Misty
some bottled storm chapter 1 . 10/23/2021
Oooo alright this was pretty great! Creams perspective was definitely interesting, I liked how it was a bit wack but still sure, very well done! The bjts of poetry were so neat as well, they definitely got very well. Also this was very intriguing, like what's the camp? The boss? Creams mother? What did the camp do to drive cream this bit insane?
But yes all in all this was a very nice comp piece definitely enjoyed reading!
cacticouch chapter 1 . 10/19/2021
Ooooo this was super interesting! Cream was a cool protag to follow, and I really enjoyed the structure of this entry. The almost poetic asides/stanzas made it rlly unique, and Cream's perspective was v neat. This entry defo opened up lots of questions tho - like who is the boss? what's up with Cream's mother?

All in all, this was a really fitting entry to the theme, and the mysterious mood of the entry suited up to the theme well too. Good job!
Hissing Mist chapter 1 . 10/18/2021
OH KITTY! THIS WAS FANTASTIC! I love the bits of poetry scattered in it, it really ties it together! How you wrote it makes me wonder more about the world that Cream and that cat live in! Hmm, for a little bit of constructive criticism; If you had explained a little bit more about the relationships that Cream has with her mother and more to the reason that she has been watching this particular cat, I feel like it would've made it smoother. Then again that's just my own opinion, it's also nice to leave such things left in the dark. This was amazing, make sure to keep up the great work! ~ Hiss