|Reviews for Arc Royale|
| Nexus26 chapter 41 . 12/7
This story made me feel like there needs to be a follow up on Remnant of the future. Where we follow Emerald and how her life is going after the passing of her adopted father. Personally that's something I'd love to read.
| chaoticneutral124 chapter 1 . 11/29
Good red, liked the ending, had a weird thought half way through that ghost Jaune was gonna pop up at the end, reveal that he stuck around, and that he just went somewhere else, winning the war without even knowing what was going on.
| DarkDragon2267 chapter 30 . 11/27
Grimm vs Knight reminds me a bit of Skitter vs Alexandria.
| wearedeadpool chapter 1 . 11/26
great start bro, good job.
| Gojira Supreme chapter 41 . 11/6
Something I forgot to mention in my full review is that I was disappointed in the fact that we never really see Salem's reaction to Grimm's death. Seeing any amount of emotion, whether it was casual dismissal or even a faint notion of pain due to unconscious parental feelings, would have been nice. Either the audience would be frustrated at her lack of feeling towards he sons death, and believe even more in the idea that he should have switched sides. Or, feel some level of frustration at what is perceived as too little too late. Possibly even a small hint of sympathy. Either way, it would make the tragedy of Grimm's situation feel even worse. Alright, with that forgotten thought out of the way, its back to writing for me.
Best wishes and happy writing.
| Gojira Supreme chapter 41 . 11/3
I enjoyed this from start to finish. It isn't without issues though. This is gonna be a long one. And unlike my other reviews, I'm gonna start with the romance first.
Well, not really a romance per se but as I said in my chapter fifteen review, I was hoping for knightshade. That is exactly what I got in the end. The moment Jaune said he had a date, I dared to hope. Then we got the confirmation when Yang went back to their temporary dorm saw Blake laying out new clothes. Then I was laughing in joy at the hijinks of Blake and Yang's text conversation. And since you said its open to reader interpretation, my knightshade loving heart has decided to say they go the distance. After all, Blake did tell Yang she'd need to be really, really impressed to do that with Jaune on a first date. And if she did indeed seduce him and had too much eggplant as she says, then Jaune clearly made a fantastic first impression. For all of her protesting, she's the one who initiated. Jaune himself was also described as a hopeless romantic by Fate from what I remember, so I'm not sure casual sex would be in the cards for him. Especially given how he said he'd have problems not thinking about Blake in a wedding dress after seeing Magnis' wedding photo. Maybe that's a bit of projection on my part. Sex isn't casual for me personally. Anyway, love the knightshade in the ending. Still hoping for a future fic by you that features it prominently.
Moving on, I feel this suffered pacing issues at times. Especially toward the later half. And absolutely near the ending. After a certain point, it felt as though the fic had entered turbo mode and didn't stop chugging along. There's also inconsistencies with prior fics here. It feels like you didn't review your previous works before writing this and were working off of pure memory.
I also feel that this just wasn't long enough. Part of the reason that I and many others love crossover stories like this, is character interaction. And we do get some of this. I did love Blake's mental crisis about all of the different Jaune's getting together with her. The scene with the different Jaune's meeting up is also a very good one. The others being curious about how their life could have been if they attended Beacon was good. Ruby's hero worship of Knight is cute and in line with her character. But there needed to be more in my opinion. But a lot of the characters, mainly the iterations, also only get a small handful of scenes and that's it. Hell, Team CFVY practically vanishes fairly early on. This lack of character interaction, which is critical for this kind of crossover story, is this fics biggest problem and it applies to a great many characters. Hence why I feel this fic needed to be longer. I'm not the only one to say this. Many others have pointed this out in their reviews of the last three or four chapters.
I also wanted to address all of the Jaune's, as they are the main stars.
I want to get the underutilized ones out of the way first. Null kills several off page, but the one that stuck out to me among his kills was Entertainer Jaune. I would have loved to see the casts reaction to a Jaune that moonlights as a stripper all the while also attending Beacon and dating Yang. Seeing him interact with Nicholas would have also been nice as well, as Entertainer is an orphan in his world. Actually meeting his father would have been heartwarming. The other is Stress Relief Jaune, or Ash. I felt really bad for this guy. He was murdered on the order of the counterpart to the woman he loves. It's heart wrenching despite how brief of a scene it is. Thankfully he won't remember it. But he's also another example of a Jaune I wish had stuck around for longer. There's a few potential interactions there that could have been good. Barista is also not really part of the fic at all. He can't really fight so it's to be expected. He's kind of just here to die and that's it. Kind of a glorified red shirt in a way. I did like the complete lack of reaction to him saying he's dating Militia. I'd figured Yang would have at least remembered her.
Another I want to address very quickly is Hunter. I have not read this fic, as you yourself stated it was not canon to the "coeurverse" in its first chapter. I figured it'd be safe to skip on my journey to Arc Royale. I really didn't expect Hunter to show up at all. Now I'll have to go back and read it, regardless of whether its finished or not. And I really don't have any strong feelings about this character because of that. It kind of sucks to see that he's another character that gets killed off page. His last second save during the final battle with different types of arrows was cool though.
Last quick one is Warchief. I love Beacon Civil War and I love this version of Jaune. However, he is underutilized. I did love the times where we get his POV. His cursing of Ren writing that book and Russel trying to deify him is funny. Also the same lack of character interactions here. His interactions with RWBY, JNPR, and other iterations are mostly off page.
Now onto the others, first is Knight, one of my favorite iterations in this fic. Forged Destiny is one of my favorites of your fics so seeing him here is a treat. Not that I thought he wouldn't make the cut. He was a given. Knight's OP nature made for an interesting obstacle for Salem's side to overcome. A scene or two of him interacting and learning about modern technology probably should have been included. For all the times it's mentioned it's never really shown. It also would have been cool to see him train Royale Jaune as well. Honestly, I wanted to see those two interact and I can't recall it ever really happening. There's one or two inconsistencies, like his romantic interests but I already talked about that in a prior review.
Next is Grimm, who is also a favorite. His end battle with Knight is a grand spectacle. Overwhelming numbers versus overwhelming might. The acknowledgement and respect the two gained for each other was a nice touch. As well as the fact they both acknowledge the fact they do not hate one another. I liked the personal conundrum Grimm unfortunately found himself in. He can't abandon the woman who is his mother's counterpart but he also doesn't want her to win or to harm anyone himself. Part of me wished he had listened to Remy about switching sides. I'd have loved to see everyone's, especially Yang's reaction to the fact their dating. It was sad to see him resign himself to being seen as a monster. I kind of wanted Royale Jaune not to listen to his request. I am glad that his efforts to not harm anyone was in fact noticed by Ozpin's side. It was a nice touch even if it unfortunately didn't really amount to much.
Leviathan's presence was brief. Which honestly was more than likely necessary. Leviathan was likely the most powerful and dangerous iteration. As was pointed out, after assuming his Grimm form he could have easily just flooded the entire city, earning himself the victory but he didn't. He could have just as easily retreated and let the downpour of Grimm eventually wipe out the entire city. Leviathan's implied wish of wanting to resurrect Yang was touching. I just wish he would have vocalized it. Just more character interaction that could have happened.
Ashari is like Grimm in that he is a good man put into a difficult position. The only reason he doesn't jump ship is because of Emerald. But he only has one good showing here. His initial fight with RWBY and JNPR. Its not even close. He tears them apart without even taking it seriously. The comparison to Qrow sparing with Yang or Ruby is fitting. More points for taking Knight out of that fight entirely too. Outside of that, we get a few scenes with one prominent one being taking Emerald out to eat. I got some good flashbacks to Relic of the Future from this one. But seeing him get taken out off page is a disappointment and anti-climactic. But it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Emerald, having learned he was her father and remembering everything he had done for her, turns her back on Cinder and is the one to finish her. Little bit of a side note, but Winter's scene with Emerald is touching. She acknowledges the fact that Emerald is her daughter in law in Ashari's universe and tries to console her.
Magnis as I said in my review of chapter fifteen, was amazing to see. I liked that he began training with Jaune. Of all his iterations, Magnis is the one Jaune can most easily become. But other than his fight with Winter and the great conversation he has with Jaune, he doesn't do much. His fight with Null and Adam is for the most part off page. We see the beginning, then the end, but no in between.
Xiong is in the background for most of this. His ruthlessness and cynical look is on display here. I like that he was curious about Jaune attending Beacon, as it was his wish at one point as well but he was rejected. It was particularly satisfying to see him get one over on Cinder and actually be there to see it, unlike in Self Made Man.
Agent started out with a strong showing but is largely in the background like Xiong. He nearly kills Null but is stopped by Null making the fight public. I also called that Ozpin was his anchor by the way. It was a nice swerve, given that a lot of people thought it was Oobleck. I also liked the scene at the get together where he just kept pulling out weapon after weapon. Where he falls short is his fight with Fate. A prior reviewer pointed out that that entire fight felt like Fate won because the plot dictated he needed to, not that it made sense. What on earth happened to all of Agent's numerous gadgets and weapons? (More on this when I get to Fate himself)
Revolutionary being imprisoned by Adam makes sense. He's a human claiming to be apart of the White Fang and refuses to fight with them if it means hurting innocent people. He's eventually saved of course and starts bunking with RWBY. It was funny to see Blake assume he is another Jaune her counterpart shacked up with given that he is part of a good vigilante White Fang, an organization she'd likely be proud to be apart of. Only to be shocked that he's in fact dating Sienna, someone who from Blake's perspective, hates humans. Revolutionary getting on over the guy who tortured him was a nice touch, even if the fight if off page. It was awesome seeing him match Adam move for move and knowing just what to say to rile Adam up. Given who's in his head, all of that is a given.
Headmaster feels weird to me. I like the outside look after reading both Professor Arc and Headmaster arc because the reader knows he is completely bullshitting everyone. And the repeat of the airship drop was glorious. But at times he feels like he is at odds with his character in both fics. His plans involve brazenly putting innocent people in danger and wrecking havoc among both sides in order to teach RWBY and JNPR a lesson. For as glorious as the airship drop is, how many people died on that ship? Never mind the fact that dropping an entire army of soldiers and huntsman on his enemies head is the exact thing this character would normally go for. I did like his last fuck you to the gods by taking both himself and Null out at the same time.
Null is arguably the only truly villainous Jaune you've written. Xiong is a second but not at this guys level. His do whatever it takes to attain my goals personality is in full force. As I stated above, he immediately begins hunting other iterations the moment he gets to Vale and succeeds in killing several off screen. He does make a fantastic pair with Cinder, as she points out on several occasions. But I honestly did not want this guy to make it to the end. That maybe my leftover feelings from the fic he comes from talking, but its how I feel. I also didn't like how he didn't object to Cinder saying she was going to off his entire family in the Royale universe. It seems out of character considering he was adamant about not killing his father's counterpart.
Then, there's Fate. I love the fic he comes from. But here I found myself completely disgusted with him. He is essentially the ultimate supreme edge lord shit bag here. I get why he's acting the way he does but its so at odds with his already established character that its ridiculous. This is the guy that couldn't help himself when it came to saving his friends. I don't buy the whole they're not my friends excuse, as that's what kills him in the end. He even tries to murder Ruby in cold blood. I don't care that he feels bad about it. That doesn't mean anything given the fact that he won't even remember that he did it. He causes Yang pain by killing Leviathan and gives a half assed apology about being sorry that he caused it but not that the actual act of shooting Leviathan. He is a complete dickhead here and is unrepentant about it. What makes it worse is the fact that the audience is completely aware of what awaits him when he gets back. He's on his last loop and will be free. The Weiss in his universe will make sure of it. The dramatic irony here is infuriating. Even his redemption through death barely helps. Saving Ruby would have been the better choice given that he tried to murder her in the first place. He has to protect Pyrrha given that she's his anchor. She dies, he dies and misses out on his wish.
Fate also has the most inconsistencies of all the Jaune's. I mentioned his previous romantic exploits in a prior review and others have mentioned them too. But this Jaune shouldn't have aura. It was a plot point in Not this time, Fate that his aura is becomes out of whack when he does not act like himself. Yet he's able to go toe to toe with Agent, who is more physically fit and stronger than Fate is. A prior review pointed out that it was a plot point in NTTF that Jaune's experience does not mean a whole lot if he is not physically up to snuff. Roman beats him at the docks resoundingly. Even if the plot demands he beats Agent, he should not have easily trounced him as he did. It came of as nearly effortless on Fate's part. Agent is more physically fit, likely stronger, and should have been better equipped. And good on Ozpin, by the way, for not trusting Fate since the beginning. Dude has every reason to get involved, but refuses to participate. Nope. Not buying it at all.
Fate's depiction here honestly negatively impacts NTTF. How would any of his friends in his home universe feel about the things he's chosen to do here? His friends would be horrified at the things he's done here. The Yang from his universe would turn him into paste knowing he tried to murder an alternate universe version of Ruby. Going back to read NTTF will be difficult now, given the additional characterization presented here.
Now for a Jaune you hinted at but either forgot about, or retconned out mid story. Ghost Jaune from From Beyond. You blatantly set up this character for an appearance. His body shows up and everyone is wondering why he's already dead. In the very next chapter Ash is killed off and reveals what happens to the iterations that die. They disappear into motes of blue light. You draw a very obvious and clear distinction between these two situations. There is something completely different and significant about the Jaune that was found in the vault. Even when Entertainer was killed off there was no body left. Throughout this entire fic, I kept waiting for Ghost Jaune in Amber's body to show up at some point. Seeing Blake's reaction to not only another Jaune dating her, but one was formerly a ghost, and is now in the body of a female, and has magic powers, would have been hysterical.
But that never happens. Part way through this fic, the way Jaune iterations die is completely different for some reason. They leave behind bodies now, despite the fact that they didn't prior. It feels like a change that was done for the sake of characters being able to react to characters that were killed off page or that were not killed in their presence.
Even just having Amber Jaune pop up without all of the ghost shenanigans would have been great. Plenty of characters could have had down right funny reactions to this. Its just such wasted potential.
And for the final Jaune of this fic, the Jaune from Arc Royale. Seeing his self worth issues pop up in the face of versions of himself that are so much more than he is is good for development. In the face of it it was easy for him to forget the fact that all of them, with Fate being the exception, have all finished their journeys. He's only just begun his. And by the end he learns that he can become any one of them. He's only getting started.
Jaune even actively evolves as a leader during this, taking charge in several scenes.
It was also rather obvious that he was going to be the last Jaune standing. Not that obvious ruined it. He's even the first to stand up to the brother gods. That single act rallies his friends behind him. And they essentially all convince the gods to give them another chance. One final match between Jaune and Cinder. A woman Jaune's counterparts have all faced in one way or another. And in the end he wins through sheer force of will. Spurred on by his counterparts strength and willingness to fight to their last breaths, he resolves in the moment to do the same. And he succeeds. Cinder, unable to put him down despite being stronger than him even when in a weakened state, flees in the face of his resilience. (Though, its a little alarming that RWBY isn't even really all that outwardly concerned about his injuries. His stomach is split open for crying out loud.)
Hopefully I've covered every Jaune. It'd be a little embarrassing if I forgot about one given that I dedicated at minimum a paragraph to almost each one.
The actual ending itself is good, if a bit rushed as I said before. The gods lift Salem and Ozma's curses, leaving Ozma permanently dead and Salem to die by the sword or of old age. The relics are also removed as well. Wondering what happened to Atlas, considering removing the staff would cause it to fall and crash into Mantle. Or maybe that's not a thing in the coeurverse. From what I recall, the staff was used to create Penny in one of your fics and Atlas was still afloat. Life moves on for RWBY and JNPR, even if it feels mundane in comparison to literally saving the world from a madwoman and a pair of childish deities. And unlike in canon, they can revel in being young before going of to fight Salem years down the line, if they even have to. You also acknowledge the fact that even with Salem gone, the Grimm will still likely be a threat, meaning huntsman will still be a requirement for life on Remnant.
Despite this fics flaws, I really like it. I am a sucker for crossover content regardless of what form of entertainment it is. Fan fiction especially, considering you can get crossovers you will never see anywhere else. I will come back to this in the future. But for now there's no moving on to the next fic.
Given all the reading of your fics I've been doing recently, its inspired me to pick up the pen once again. I've been writing on and off for years. Whether its my of fics or even just ideas for fics. Now, I just want to sit down and write. I have a few ideas for RWBY fics. One of which I've already started writing. And a few of those ideas are even inspired by your own works. Given that, the next time I review one of your fics, it'll likely be with an actual account and not a guest review. I hope if you come my way, you give my fics a read.
Best wishes and happy writing.
| Guest chapter 41 . 11/2
I honestly want a fanfic of all these different arcs like ashari, headmaster, barista ect where they talk about their different adventures to each other from a Grimm controlling arc to a time traveler to a barista
| Gojira Supreme chapter 15 . 11/2
This chapter, as well as the previous one, were awesome. I figured this Jaune was going to be the one from One Good Turn Deserves Another, and I am pleased it was. And Magnis is all kinds of kickass as well. Winter is no pushover and he resoundingly beat her. It's a good look at Jaune's potential future and should serve as a reminder to him as to what he can indeed become if he tries his best.
Magnis is the iteration of Jaune I wanted to see the most. One Good Turn Deserves Another was the first fic of yours I read and remains a favorite. I've read it several times. Once when my mother was in the hospital and post surgery rehab facilities, which helped me through that dark time.
Also, my inner shipper is crying out for knightshade here. I know this is finished already but I really want it here, even if its just a minor thing. I'm hoping her thoughts on Jaune from chapter fourteen are some form of irony. She says she'll never be screwing him in any form. Knowledge of all entertainment media dictates that the exact opposite of that statement will happen. As Sato Kazuma would say, "Don't say that! You'll activate a trigger!" She's even seen what he'll potentially be like in the future, and she is definitely into it.
In all seriousness though, I wasn't really coming into this one looking for romance so it's not a big deal if it doesn't. I shall cautiously hope for it none the less. My bleeding shipping heart demands that I must.
Best wishes and happy writing.
| Gojira Supreme chapter 3 . 11/2
Something else I forgot. Fate Jaune in Not this time, Fate did confirm he dated Nora, but only ever stated that Ren was dragged along with them. He even said it was awkward as hell. Just a little thing I forgot in my previous review of this chapter.
Best wishes and happy writing.
| Gojira Supreme chapter 3 . 11/2
One or two retcons here from what it looks like, mainly when it comes to romantic partners. Others have pointed it out but Fate Jaune never did have sex with Yang. You yourself confirmed this in the author's notes of Not this time, Fate. (Also, I kind of wished Fate Jaune was from the end of his journey. It'd be funny to see Weiss reaction to their engagement.)
And Knight Jaune never married Ruby in Forged Destiny. It was a major plot point that the two did not marry one another just because of some stupid notion that they had to tie the knot to rule Vale and that Knight Jaune chose to continue pursuing his relationship with Blake, all the while making a public spectacle of both decisions. Even the epilogue of that fic does not change this. I skimmed through just to make sure. He and Ruby, five years later, are still not married and he is still seeing Blake.
I also dislike surprise polyamorous ships. If I am going to read a fic with a polyamorous relationship, I need to now about it right away and not have it sprung up on me later. I tend to read fics based on the tagged pairing. If I enter a fic for only knightshade, then I only want knightshade. I went into Forged Destiny wanting lancaster, it changed to knightshade and I was one hundred percent for it given the narrative's evolution, and I was glad you didn't about face later nor add a surprise polyamorous relationship in the epilogue like you did with White Sheep.
Something I've noticed is that you sometimes forget details that you write in the earlier parts of your fics, especially in the longer ones. I have a suspicion that the same happened here, just that its an old fic you finished already instead of an earlier chapter of the same fic.
It might be eye roll induction for me to complain about the pairings of old fics here, but romance is a genre I genuinely enjoy. Certain things, such as what I stated above, can indeed ruin a fic for me. I've dropped one or two in the past due to such writing decisions. Luckily, you've never done this in such a major capacity that it actively curbed my enjoyment of one of your fics. It's always been some small thing you've tacked on during the epilogue as a bone for the shippers who did not get their ship. (Like I said it feels like in my review of Relic of the Future. The end of White Sheep also felt like this.)
Anyway, still stoked to read this. I shall get back to it.
Best wishes and happy writing.
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/7
Hah, a Schnee is not so easily swayed.
Man imagined if this was post story Fate, imagine Weiss and Jaune's reaction to the fact
Fate is engaged.
| Aetheryna chapter 41 . 9/7
Finally returned to this after refreshing myself on every previous story (except P. Arc because that’s for later), and while I definitely don’t think that was necessary to read this story, it helped with catching all the minor details (RIP Crimson, naught but like two offhand lines). Shame that we only really got to focus on a few Jaune’s, either because others died quickly or just weren’t covered as much, but this concept was definitely unique and I’m glad to see it executed well.
I have to say though, I still have yet to find a story where the inclusion of the Brother Gods makes a story better. It’s part of canon yeah, but man I just can’t ever take them seriously. From NTTF (retroactively lmao) to White Sheep, it just cheapens everything that’s happened in the story and takes it in weird directions. Can’t be helped here since the whole premise stems from them, but still. Blegh. Still a great story, if short (for a Couer story hehe). Off to the incomplete stories I guess.
| The Harrinator chapter 13 . 8/24
Very funny to me how they went from "You're working with [Ironwood], not for [Ironwood]", to "Do what I tell you or get shot" in like four chapters. God Bless Atlas.
| Cooldude101011 chapter 18 . 8/20
Yeah I’m guessing in this situation Headmaster is worried that they might attack him anyway
| sanjiv121606 chapter 25 . 8/16
I wonder if he still can gain experience points I know he's too high level to gain from the mooks but does his World's Logic affect him still?