Yeah just ignore Farla. That user doesn't really offer anything of value. In fact, much of it is indeed nitpicking and their headcanon.

["This isn't adding up. No reports on his sighting, but his men are on the move again? Unless…" A man in a brown coat muttered.]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[The folded device vibrated violently in the man's palm as he stared at it. Contemplating and finding a reason to not answer.]

Your sentences are really choppy and a lot of them read better combined.

[Raquaza]

Rayquaza.

[like your past my seniority]

"Your" is possessive, "you're" means "you are".

[baited breathe]

Bated breath.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

I'd really suggest finding someone to beta read this.

Nice and solid introductory chapter. Looking forward to more.

Interesting story premise. I'm a sucker for crime thrillers and noir style stories. Always have been. Lots of cool stuff you can do in the world too since I imagine you'll make the most out of getting the nitty gritty of investigative work and mystery.

As for some of the things I've noticed: Intro to the world is pretty decent. I'm getting a feel for the identity of the characters too thanks to some solid details. A few typos in the middle of the chapter with some misspellings, and a few clunky paragraph structures here and there, but not too shabby.

Looking forward to what is to come!