|Reviews for In this Truth We See|
| shikome kido mi chapter 6 . 10/17/2006
Ah, you may be right that there are many Soujiro fics. Nonetheless, this one stands out as being head and shoulders above the majority. It is fics like this one that render the category worth looking at.
So far, you've managed to make your original characters interesting and your methods for writing emotions produce a response in the reader.
I hope to one day see more of this story.
| rowensage chapter 6 . 12/10/2004
When are you going to update!your story is awsome! I absolutly love it!
| rowensage chapter 1 . 12/3/2004
Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update Update, Update, Update, update
PLEASE I'VE BEEN WAITING SIX MONTHS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD WAIT ANYMORE
| rowen chapter 1 . 11/28/2004
please update I wait for a new chapter everyday! I can't wait to see what happens next
| rowen chapter 1 . 11/7/2004
I love your story it really got me into Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction see before I used to only read inuyasha yoroiden samurai troopers and sailor moon but you've shown me that Rurouni Kenshin is good too! can't wait for your next chapter
| PhoebeOtaku chapter 6 . 9/14/2004
not exactly sure what is going on, but i'm sure that will come out later in the story. looking forward to it! D
| Wistful-Eyes chapter 6 . 7/21/2004
Oh! This is really good! It's excellent to see a Chinese character; I myself am Chinese, so it makes it fun. _ It's funny to see how Xiao Yan views the Japanese. I think Haji is just a little boy trying to be obedient to the rules he has been given growing up. But he's so timid at the same time... Actually I don't think a lot about him, I'm more interested in Xiao Yan's character. Well, this is really good, hope the next chapter comes soon!
| aquafina rain chapter 6 . 6/16/2004
Right-o. Anywho. I think Haji's kinda like a normal kid. Like he doesn't really want to disappoint anyone he looks up to, especially his, um, -brother-. And the fact that he doesn't want to cry -well, anyone little boy would hate crying, wouldn't they?
Aish I loved this chapter so much. You get pretty deep into Haji's mind with the whole [blahblahalakjfa;k] part. And no, I didn't read it as [blahblahalakjfa;k]. I'm jsut too lazy to copy and paste something. uu;
Anywho. Right. So I also liked how Misao was, er, portrayed in here. I hate that word, portrayed. Right, so I liked the way she was more, eh, mature (hate that word, too -;) but stil having her immature Misao-ish moments.
Mwaa. So update. Or I'll eat you. ;3
| JMJV chapter 6 . 6/16/2004
Wow, this is a really good story. I'd love to read more.
| Jillian A.K chapter 6 . 6/14/2004
You said Haji means shame. Is it for the shame of the manner in which he was conceived, or for the other shame that occurred that day of Li Xiao Yan not sacrificing her life for her mother’s? By the way, later on you need to explain that more. Why should she die for her mother and where does honor fit into the equation? What is darn jian?
The dialogue that was in [ ] was confusing until I realized it probably meant they were speaking in Chinese. You may want to add an A/N in the beginning of the chapter to explain.
If Haji is supposed to be strong, or tries to force himself to appear strong, why does he stutter so much? It’s a sign of indecision and also weakness. Also, Haji calls Li his brother yet I also think I recall him thinking of Li as a girl. Does he know to pretend she is a he?
I’d like to see something from Haji’s POV when he was talking about Sojiro’s hands. You could just add it to his dialogue or have Sojiro sense what Haji’s thinking. But how did he knew Sojiro has killed? What he said about a martial artists’ hands is very profound. I think these small sayings is one of your strongest points.
Why would the fact that Sojiro enjoyed taunting Li keep him from quelling his anxiety? It made me think he doesn’t want emotions but then he smiled ‘full force’ so he must like the fact that he’s regaining his emotions.
And doesn’t ‘nee-san’ mean brother and ‘nii-san’ mean sister? I really have no clue myself, but I picked up the idea somewhere. (If I’m wrong, could you please tell me how to say sister in Japanese?)
Li does not seem so much a brat to me, both because of that terrible day ten years ago and because she’s from a different culture (where, if I’m understanding her POV correctly, women are inferior to men).
I would like to see Misao mature a bit. She’s not a hormonal teen any more. And didn’t Aoshi reclaim his position as leader?
I love that part about “Just listen to my heart… rain… pulse…same heartbeat
| Lord Cirenmas chapter 6 . 6/14/2004
| aquafina rain chapter 5 . 11/29/2003
You don't like angst?
-YOU- -DON'T- -LIKE- -ANGST-?
Sure could have fooled me. XDD Anywho, yeey! Sou/XY interaction! Yes, XY. oo' I'm so lazy. XDD Luffleh stuff, though, really. Keep it up!
| Shimizu Hitomi chapter 5 . 11/2/2003
Awesome characterization of Soujiro. Misao was amusing, and pretty much in character too. (How old is she now, anyway? Shouldn't she have matured at least a little bit? LOL... _) And Xiao Yan has got to be the most interesting OC I have seen in a VERY long time... I look forward to seeing what happens.
One thing, tho. Xiao Yan's mother seems a little unrealistic currently, considering that at the time, Chinese women actually acted a lot more... subservient to men... What I guess I want to say is, we need more background information on her mother. Of course, I'm sure that it will come eventually... _
| ChiisaiKo chapter 5 . 11/1/2003
I like the play of power dynamics in this chapter between Sou and Li. It was an interesting read, for sure. Ok, so in terms of critiquing and you wanted to know about characterization, I think the next chapter or thereafter would be a great time to show a different angle of Li's characters. Perhaps she's conflicted about the role she has to play, how does she feel about the idea of strength? What is her motivation for being strong? (and you dont want to use this for fear of revealing the plot too quickly) How does she interact/want to interact with her brother? Basically, is there something about her that you can show to make her more *human* and less arrogant and cold? I know you talked bout her ki flaring and the rising and falling of facades. I think it's a great element in the exchange between the two of them. And pulling in the element of ki brilliantly and subtly illustrates that their exchange extends beyond just words.
(I have a weird nitpicky thing: you mentioned in previous chapters that you are not *terribly* familiar with either the Chinese or Japanese culture-and Im not sure how much of that cultural difference you want to emphasize in your story. If you do want to emphasize, it-I personally would suggest some research-ie, chinese culture/philosophies during the Qing dynasty and be aware of how those cultural practices may cause tension between the goals and practices of the Meiji era. I get the sense that you *do* want to emphasize this cultural difference to some degree-and I think it would do this story to be inaccurate-or base this subject mater lightly...but if you merely want to introduce the fact that Li Xiao Yan is a foreigner, then perhaps its not necessary to reiterate that she/he is a "Chinese youth" so much? That's just the impression that I get from this...)
Anyway, it is because I like this story and do enjoy it that I am saying so much. Please let me know though, if I should tone it down or if I should just give you the general impressions of the characters. I understand what you mean, you can only improve through feedback. So I hoped that this helped. :)
By the way, I do very much love your Soujiro. He's definately lovable.
| ChiisaiKo chapter 2 . 10/30/2003
another great chapter. the mystery is developing nicely. One thing: you seem to make a clear juxtaposition between Haji and Soujiro's own abusive past. And that's really really intriguing, and smart. Its a great subtle indicator as to why Soujiro would take an interest in the boy. Also, is Haji's origin (hmm I'm thinking that he's the by-product of what happened to "mother" in chapter one?) a possible explanation or clue mother's apparent cruelty/coldness? I think that's an issue to be addressed-I think that's the million dollar question though: why is she so mean?
You mentioned characterization and dialogue at the end of the first chapter one. And I think, overall, your strongest trait is your narrative voice and the sophistication in how you tell a story...I dont think that there's anything particularly lacking in your dialogue though-are you just concerned that you dont have a quick-paced witty repetoire or passionate rhapsodies? I'm not sure as to what you mean by this...maybe I'll know what you mean later...