|Reviews for Broken Reality|
| Ghostboy138 chapter 11 . 12/5
Goddamit this was a fun little read. Hope you stick with this.
| freddy.lane.1 chapter 3 . 11/23
One, this was a great chapter.
And two, as much as i want to believe that, ichika just just radiates density to me.
| Blue1ao chapter 12 . 11/22
Harem and God let cinder be in it
| guest chapter 12 . 11/21
Why do I have a feeling Jaune will one day be stuck hiding downtown and will need to sacrifice his dignity to get back undetected.
| Lechuzape chapter 12 . 11/20
| Lechuzape chapter 7 . 11/20
| Supreme Kai of Booty chapter 5 . 11/15
I've read a few chapter past this to be sure but this chapter is DEFINITELY the breaking point in this story for me and the biggest reason why I choose to drop it. I'm someone who has been raped for several years by the two older brothers of my best friends since I was a child and reading about how sexual slavery and everything along those lines are spoken in jest by the character rubs me in the wrong way.
Jaune first outburst against Salem once he found out she was the one who passes a law that ACTIVELY made all men basically be lesser than trash is not even enough to properly convey just how utterly fucked up and disgusting Salem's actions were.
And then you just... wrote it as a joke that she passed a law that made countless men no doubt be raped, murdered and sold into sexual slavery because she was drunk.
There's tone shift and kicking a dead horse, you did the latter. You wrote something so serious that held A LOT of weight and you just threw it to the side with a single line. "Oh, I was drunk, LMAO." This is one of the good 'guys', everyone. A woman who has no doubt made millions(Most likely billions) of men and boys suffer through the ages as something even LESSER than second class citizens.
And she shows no lack of regret over her actions, in fact, the story actively jokes about it and makes light of what she has done.
So, in short, you really threw the ball there my dude, this is the kind of thing that does not fit the humour that this story is trying to convey as absolutely dances around something that you first wrote as a VERY serious problem and then you made it a joke.
Also, Jaune not straight up decking or stabbing to woman who made a law that allowed his younger sister(By just a few minutes!) to be tortured and almost killed is certainly a very bold move.
| ZZASD chapter 12 . 11/14
Just curious but what is the update schedule for this?
| L chapter 12 . 11/14
"Yo Mr White, you have to learn aura studies yo."
| Nico360 chapter 12 . 11/12
I read your rwbyhsdxd story and it hadn't been updated for so long that I thought you had retired and abandoned it (at the beginning of this year or so) then today I realized that I never entered your author profile and I realized that you were just writing others xd, I haven't read the dragon of bael yet, but I can tell you that I like the 2 rwby stories you have and I'll be waiting for their updates, by the way I choose harem, always harem (in case the voting continues)
| BlueBlade906 chapter 1 . 11/12
...you know what, put Zwei in there. I'd gladly sacrifice my dignity of posting this as a furry shit post.
You're welcome, or not if you think otherwise.
| UnseenUrge chapter 11 . 11/11
Hey author why is oobleck and port in the bottom of the chapter in their name in it?
| odstrules21 chapter 12 . 11/10
Yes! My girl Velvet has made an appearance!
| quicker267 chapter 12 . 11/10
can Blake please be in the harem. also Jaune's disguise reminds me of Adam
| quicker267 chapter 10 . 11/10
I vote for Blake to be in the harem please. You also made Jaune disguise look like Adam especially with the scar