|Reviews for Circle of Life: What Was Lost|
| ktshdw chapter 1 . 9/30/2004
I am really starting to enjoy this collection of stories I hope you will continue to write similar pieces.
| Nightwitch87 chapter 8 . 8/4/2004
Previews, yay! They're awesome! Riker will propose? They're gonna have a little baby girl, how cute! Is Geordi gonna become some kind of addict? I'm escited to read more.
Very good story! Have you ever thought about publishing "Circle of Life"? After some editing, it would be a good book! I know I'd buy it and other people probably, too. I love it!
Will finally asks about his daughter.
And it has a happy ending! But there's gonna be more trouble with the Hytra(or however you spell it) settlement, the preview shows it. I'm excited!
The only real weakness were the grammar and spelling errors. Think about getting that beta-reader!
Oh, and would you maybe consider reviewing some of my stories on fanfiction or ?
You're a good writer!
| Nightwitch87 chapter 7 . 8/4/2004
FINALLY some answers! So the EGM is like a terrorist organisation, but it isn't one. What was hte goal of planting the chip in the first place? Imrah seems kind of crazy. by the way, I think the name Ken is suits the ambassador really well, he's such a Barbie-California boy! It's funny.
The two things that I'd have to critisize is that the species have lived on the planet for only a few centuries, but already their hair and skin color has changed, they don't look that much alike anymore. Evolution just doesn't work that fast. It would take about 200 0 years to bring about even a small change like that. But well, maybe alien evolution is just fast. The other thing is Riker's indifference. The whole time while he's being held captive he doesn't even waste a thought on the baby or Troi. I think he would.
But the rest of the story was wonderful! complex plot! I love it!
| Nightwitch87 chapter 6 . 8/4/2004
Ah, they ALL came from the Hytra settlement, right? It was their home. What I don't understand is why there are still people there. Maybe a few survivors. But who attacked them? Or are the attackers the ones who live there now? But that wouldn't make sense, since the people living in the settlement are so similar to the Nilaains, the "old" Nilaains. Interesting, they're all the same species. I'll have to move on to the next chapter to find out. You're great at creating tension. I'd like to read some of Deanna's reaction to Will's disappearing though.
Oh well. You should really think about getting a beta-reader. I don't have one, but my best friend does and I know they're good.
| Nightwitch87 chapter 5 . 8/4/2004
Everytime you unravel some of the mystery, it just seems to cause more questions. Who DO they work with? Who attacked the three species so many years ago? Could it be the people from the hytor settlement? Why are they so much like the "old" Nilaains, who had the glowing eyes? What role does the man on the picture in the museum play? What does Deanna's pregnany have to do with all of this? Why were their memories erased? What kind of telepathic ability is it, that was briefly mentioned? What connection is there between the Hytra settlement and the three species? Where did Geordie's headaches come from? Why did they pretty much disappear? What are the "strange readings" Dr. Crusher took?...
There's so many more. I wonder if we'll get told all of the answers in this part of "Circle of Life". I'm excited!
| Nightwitch87 chapter 4 . 8/4/2004
Interesting, now we have more knowledge of the three species. I don't really trust either of the three. Good foreshadowing tecniques, again.
On thing: Especially in this chapter, you used a lot of present tense when you meant to use past tense, and the other way round. You wrote "meet" when you meant "met", "choose" when you meant "chose", etc. Keep an eye on your tenses.
Otherwise, good work!
| Nightwitch87 chapter 3 . 8/4/2004
The tension is gradually increasing. I'm curious when the climax will occur. You're writing consistently and the words keep flowing. Nice change of perspectives, they're not too abrupt.
I really want to know what the mysterious Nilaains are up to. The baby's kicking, *smirk*!
You balance your story very well, there's enough about the settlement thing and the ship's duties, but also private life in between. That's what I would have wished for in the TV-show, more about the crew's private lives.
Wow, I'm just bombing you with reviews. But I like saying something about every chapter.
Keep up the good work!
| Nightwitch87 chapter 2 . 8/4/2004
This is getting really interesting. There's got to be a conflict arising, something that makes the story more complicated. Most likely it will happen in the next chapter. Your foreshadowing is good. Ken Smith is such a jerk!
I love your story so far!
On to the next chapter...
| Nightwitch87 chapter 1 . 8/4/2004
Good start, I can't wait to read more!
"What's an idiot like you doing in a diplomatic position?" Lol, I love that line!
Good reply! You write good dialogues.
It's great that Will and Deanna are happy.
It surprised me though, that Lwaxana didn't sense the pregnancy immediately, and that she wasnt angry that Deanna hadn't told her.
But it's great start!
| laurel chapter 8 . 8/4/2003
I am glad that Will finally got safely back to the ship (and to Deanna). I am also happy to find out what really happened on the away mission and that it seems that Will will propose to her in the next installment!
| staran chapter 8 . 8/4/2003
Oh! The teasers you put at the end drive me mad! I really really have to know what is going to happen! please say you will post more soon? please?
| Sash chapter 8 . 8/3/2003
Has anyone ever told you how brilliant your previews are? They are just so WOW! Spine tingling.. and leaves you begging for more! :)
| staran chapter 7 . 7/31/2003
I really liked this chapter! thank you for posting a day early! made my day! I have a strange picture going around my head of worf looking like a lost puppy! i am ending all my sentences with an explanation mark! what is going to happen next? what is will going to remember? I thnk you got will's personality just right when you said. 'Riker was again strapped down to a straight table. Only this time, he was about to have a microscopic chip removed from his brain. This would be fun.' hehe! thany you posting early again! very very long rewiew today!
| Sarajayne chapter 7 . 7/30/2003
Bravo! Bravo! as intriguing as ever ;-D Please keep going, Does Riker find it all out? Or is there an accident with the surgery and he fails to remember Deanna? Yikes!
| staran chapter 6 . 7/29/2003
hi! I read the chapter before but i was in such a rush that that i couldn't leave a review! i really like this chapter. you have got the suspense going now! what is doing to happen to riker, worf, and smith? are they going to be alright? please post more on thursday. one desprate reviewer is begging. see i made up for not rewiewing the last time by going you a extra long review today!