|Reviews for Stormwinds|
| Domenic chapter 1 . 4/29/2007
Going on favorites.
| Shashuko the Paisley Maiden chapter 1 . 8/22/2006
This is so cute!
| Sagamaker102 chapter 1 . 1/10/2004
great story, i can always go for Future Trunks stories, i think they are what dbz should have been.
| Knight's Shadow chapter 1 . 11/17/2003
| Uchiha Mira chapter 1 . 9/24/2003
You know, I am so glad you wrote this because there are SO FEW stories about Mirai ChiChi and Gohan! They're always about the Briefs family! It was so... refreshing, I suppose, to read something from a different angle, a different point of view.
I loved the entire perspective of this. I don't think I've read one Mirai fic about ChiChi and Gohan's relationship as a family before, and this was handled very well. You kept them both in character, how ChiChi was protective and had empathy for him, but still had her parental rules and attitudes. It was so believeable, somehow...
The scene on the rooftop was incredible. The visuals you painted through every word were just AMAZING. I could see and hear every flash of lightning and crash of thunder, I loved it!
And the ending was perfect. From ChiChi telling Gohan to take off his muddy boots before going in the house, to the comparison to the sapling.
To end with the sapling, small but strong and still standing; that was beyond perfect. It tied in and summed up all her fears and worries throughout the story about her baby fighting the jinzouningen, and it did so in a subtle, classy, poetic way. Bravo!
| Bucky chapter 1 . 9/21/2003
This one appealed to me right away, having a son and all.
It really touched me. I could so feel her anxieties regarding Gohan, and her instinct battling against her logic. I think you wrote Chi Chi very well, too. Everything she did/said was something I could envision easily. You gave her depth behind her scolding words...enough that it showed how aware she really was, but not so much that it was OOC. Good job. :)
And man! GOHAN! Poor kid! He's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, but then, he has since he was four years old. It's so sad to see him with dampened spirits. To see him without his easy smile. You wrote Chi Chi's observation of him very well. It elicited strong emotions in me.
And the storm as a backdrop was a nice touch. The slender tree that refused to break, a great parallel. Perfect way to wrap up this angsty one-shotter.
*sighs* Okay. I'm gonna go hug my beetsies, now.
| Jessi Lynn chapter 1 . 9/19/2003
Hmm... Very unusual. You don't often read stories done well in Chi-Chi's POV. And what she was saying about getting mad about being deserted all the time, like she wasn't important... That was something I hadn't thought of before. It makes sense. Gave her character more depth for me.
*grins* There's also the very nice fact that the story is based in the Mirai universe, something I always like... There's so much you can do with that universe, those seven years and after it all ends... You can take your imagination anywhere.
Well-written, as always. You never cease to impress me with your stories. Very insightful, and it didn't seem long at all. Great characterization.
| cameoappearance chapter 1 . 9/19/2003
ah, very, VERY good!
You kept Chi-Chi, Gohan, and Ox King very well in character, considering this is the Mirai timeline, too. I loved the little flashes of lightning popping up in odd places... lightning is so cool :P
And this was a very convincing rendition of Gohan and Chi-Chi's relationship. Very simple and meaningful, and you conveyed it so that you didn't need to elaborate all that much.
~I know that I can't stop him from going off to fight, however much I might want to, but as long as I can remind him that there's still more to life than that, things might very well be all right.~
OOh, now THAT was an element that I've been HOPING to see in other Mirai timeline fics, but they haven't ever really come through the right way. Coolness!
~"Right, Kaasan." His boots quickly tumble to the floor, and he's gone almost in a hurry. A fourteen-year-old in a hurry for hot chocolate. Not something one really expects. ~
LOL, very cute.
All-in-all, this was very well written, and I really enjoyed reading it. I'd love to see you elaborate on this as well! (not as in adding more chapters, but perhaps bringing this element to a different fic?) Great job!
| The Sh33p chapter 1 . 9/18/2003
A very interesting take on ChiChis character, and on the characters of Gohan and the Ox King as well. Its pretty nice to see a mirai fic that doesnt center around Trunks in some way, or a 'Mirai Pan' that never even existed to begin with...
All things considered, this was definately a good read, and I liked the bit about the little tree bending against the storm, but not breaking. Made for a nice comparison to ChiChi and Gohan both.
Like I said before, good stuff.
| deleria chapter 1 . 9/18/2003
I really enjoyed this fic. It was a good read. You did a good job with Gohan and Chichi's relationship. I totally felt bad for Chichi.
First-person fics can be pretty tricky sometimes. You did a good job with it. I dig it!
Good work, Demi!
| Crash chapter 1 . 9/17/2003
Heh, try number three at finding a story I hadn't reviewed yet...
Oh! First person narrative. Its been a while since I've read a story trying that.
Agnst. And it had been such a good night up until now. Seriously, halfway through this I started getting depressed myself. I suppose that means the writing is effective. Watching Gohan was just...sad.
Did like the storm bit, though. So I'm not leaving the fic totally depressed. I lovethat stoic let-the-worst-come moments. Heh, written a scene or so like it myself...
Well, good job. 'Til you update those other two fics!
| Leia chapter 1 . 8/30/2003
Sometimes I wonder why on Earth I ever stopped reading fanfiction. Certainly there are hordes of horribly written, cliched, or forever incomplete fics (...oops...) ... but on the other hand, there are stories like this.
By all rights, I should be able to write a multi-page review that is worthy of this story. I should be able to expound on how articulate you were, how you picked up on situations and character flaws and personalities and circumstances, both said and unsaid, and wound them into a perfectly masterful work of fiction. I should be able to go on and on about the symbolism of the storm and the tree, and comment that your stories always carry an underlying theme of hope along with the despair.
But I can't seem to do it. The words are sticking in my mind, and I'm afraid I can't write a review worthy of this story...
I felt for ChiChi, and for Gohan. I felt a surge of liking for the Ox King, who is not my favourite character. I could sympathize, empathize, and feel myself right in the midst of the story and its goings-on. I felt my emotions kicked around like so many pieces of gravel under a road-grater. I felt my heart twist and pull until I thought it would break.
But can I review eloquently? Uh-uh. Not this time.
I am sorry I cannot leave you a review that will stay with you. But know this - you have wrapped more emotion and turmoil and hope and sadness into one small one-shotter than I had thought possible.
I bow to you. The fiction world will rejoice when you graduate. _~
| DoraMouse chapter 1 . 7/11/2003
Hola Demi-Saiyan Prodigy,
Thank you for this story. Short, sweet and to the point. You capture ChiChis insights quite wonderfully - a feat that deserves applause since few authors pay her any mind and fewer still manage to keep her in-character. Gohan thoughts are also well reflected. He must indeed be your muse, you know him so well. And nice of you to include Ox King also, he has always been there to comfort his daughter in the series. The respect... The attention to detail.. The willingness to admit flaws... It all shows in the writing. And it makes the story that much more enjoyable, that much more credible.
I like the poetic use of setting. The storm is an accurate metaphor for what the characters are feeling - both towards each other and the world in general. The little tree, a note of hope in hard times.
The conversation itself... Dialogue is so tricky sometimes, making it seem natural instead of forced. But you make it seem easy. I appluad that. The use of the storm... The empasis on thoughts.. You make it so clear what the characters are feeling that they don't need to explain everything with words. It's really quite wonderful. Definately a talent. This concept of really just letting the character be themselves. Of not using characters as narrators. It's something I expect from published authors but it's great to see it in fanfics.
And though this story is set in the Mirai Timeline... I must admit, it could also fit rather well into the regular anime timeline. Gohan... Has, due to adventures, always seemed a tad distant in regards to the rest of his family. Less so, perhaps, after Goten is born but... I imagine there would come a time - at least once - when Gohan had to either sit down and talk with his parents a bit or risk drifting from them completely. His mother especially since more often than not, ChiChi is the one he goes home to. Goku... Doesn't get to go home.
Anyway. You know all this. I'm just rambling because... Well. You've got me thinking about these sorts of things. Reading your stories tends to make me feel like I know Gohan - and the people around him - better as well. Thanks for that.
| hippiechic chapter 1 . 7/9/2003
This story was very good. I haven't come across many stories from Chi-Chi's POV. I think you did a very good job. You had a few errors, but who doesn't. Oddly enough, this is the first story tonight I've read more than a paragraph on. That's saying something, especially since Chi-Chi is not my favorite character to say the least. I also think you did a really good job on Gohan and the Ox King as well. You have a way with describtion. Keep writing! _ Peace and Out.
| Lady Athena X chapter 1 . 7/9/2003
This story is great. Nice portrayal of Chichi. I felt her emotions and her frustration as well. I think that's how she might have felt in the mirai/future timeline. I feel sorry for her and Gohan. I'm a big Chichi fan too and I hope to hear more Chichi stories from you too.