Reviews for United Enemies
Severinus chapter 8 . 10/16/2003
I couldn't help but notice that you put 'sixth graders' in this chapter. As Hogwarts carries 'sixth year' students, I will assume that's who you meant. This is...interesting...but there are a few flaws. You might want to keep out the Americanisms (i.e., "Long time no see") British don't commonly use phrases like that, as they sound more formal (especially Severus). Though I am at a loss with the describing of Dumblesore's eye's "like an X-ray"...umm they're Wizards & Witches and I don't think that they even know what an X-ray is, but hey "whatever floats your boat". I'm sorry if this sounds like a flame, but I can assure you it is not, just a friendly little way of suggesting better ways of writing that might help with future chapters. I will however continue to read through it, but it is interesting and the plot is original.

~Severinus
Avatar Arkmage and Nigel T chapter 15 . 10/14/2003
Wonderful story! This was amazing. I enjoyed how you made good use of so many interesting characters in the Harry Potter universe and developed the alliance between Harry and Snape.

Very good characterizations and thank you so much for at least keeping Harry friends with Cho Chang. Despite how females tend to write her badly(including J.K Rowling who totally assasinated her in book 5) Cho Chang remains my favorite character and even if she's not Harry's lover, at least I like to see her stay friends with him.

Good job overall. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
bluehazegurl chapter 14 . 10/12/2003
whoa!

this chapter was totally great!

i feel like rereading it again and again!

snape and harry saving each other's lives, some death eater treatment, and a revenge on 'b-bellatrix l-lestrange'

GREAT!
btvshond chapter 15 . 9/16/2003
that was good. poignant, know what i mean? ) anyway, in case you're still wondering, i'm a gal. think the majority of us fanfic writers are female.

take care.
lillinfields chapter 15 . 9/15/2003
Oh my gosh! THAT WAS AMAZING! I loved the ending, it was great! Will there be a sequel? ...PLEASE!
bluehazegurl chapter 15 . 9/14/2003
a brilliant ending!

i loved your story!
Tsuppiyo chapter 15 . 9/12/2003
Waa... I feel like crying right now! I can't help being suspicious of Harry loving Snape as if he was also Sirius. I mean, they've loathed each other for years and now theyre suddenly... OH WELL. GREAT FIC! Wow, it done already! AMAZING! WONDERFUL! You are great!
Enahma chapter 15 . 9/7/2003
It's a pity, you've finished.

Will you write another story? I'll most certainly read them!

Enahma
Debbie chapter 15 . 9/4/2003
Excellent chapter! I can't wait to see how Harry is going to be comforted by Snape, Dumbledore, etc. I am a little sad that it's ending soon, though. GREAT JOB!
enahma chapter 15 . 9/4/2003
I wanted to send you a personal e-mail, but you didn't give us your address.

So: I was very surprised when I saw that you're only 13: your story is very good, much better than many others written by 20 people.

So: go on! I'm really curious how do you plan to continue your story.

Enahma
lillinfields chapter 14 . 9/2/2003
THAT WAS SO FRICKIN' AWESOME!
tiva chapter 4 . 9/2/2003
why is it that every time i try to do schoolwork i find another great fanfic?

really, you ought to be ashamed. my marks are going to suffer! ;-)
carpathia chapter 14 . 9/1/2003
Holy crap, what a great chapter, i read it once then twice, just to make sure i didnt miss any of the action, and what action, is your imagination on drugs,very vivid. you did a wonderfull job of explaining the action that transpired, great job,i loved the interaction between Snape and Harry as well, you know, i think this is one of the more realistic duel scenes i have read, i so look forward to your next chapter, please update soon as i can hardly wait to see what happens between Snape and Harry now,
SpecialParanoia chapter 14 . 8/31/2003
This is a good story... There are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes, though, which make it kind of hard to read at times. If you simply need someone to edit your work, I'd be willing to, no problem. You should try a little harder to get some editing done, though, no matter what method you use. But, I still like this nonetheless. I hope it isn't finished at this point... I'd love to read more!
Charma1219 chapter 14 . 8/31/2003
Superb! Wonderfully written! Amazing!
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